ASK ME ANYTHING???

I never knew I would someday come across a topic like this, where all the questions I've always had in my head would no longer be mine only. I guess it's about time I air out some thoughts…

This drives us down to the thoughts of marriage. Of course, every innocent girl as myself would imagine that thing that comes after marriage, commonly known as wedding night..hahaha…the bed full of roses, the shyness, dim lights, soft music and all that. When thoughts like this lingers in the head of innocent girls, mine is thinking otherwise.

For a girl who grew up in an environment where couples fight among themselves and then at the age of 18, unfortunately found herself in a toxic relationship, do you think marriage would be a thing for her??

So then, I ask myself why Do I Still Love?

If the matter of the heart can be fully controlled I think I wouldn't have a reason to ask myself this question. It just so happens that no matter how long it's broken, the heart will always find its way to heal and love again.

Does My Past Still Affect Me?
It's been 2 years since my toxic ex broke up with me. In as much as it's one of the most difficult phrases I experienced, especially battling with low-self esteem, it was still the beginning of a new chapter that I would forever be grateful for.

Have I Found Love?
Yes of course, I have found love with my special someone. Although, it wasn't easy at the beginning. I remembered tagging him as boren because he doesn't shout or abuse me..lol. But right now he's the sweetest for me, and sometimes makes me feel like he loves me more than I do.

Am I Scared Of Being Hurt Again?
Honestly, I admit I am an overthinker. And yes, I am scared. As much as I chose to let go of the past, I fear for the future while thinking of relationships.

Would I Love To End Up With My Special Someone?
I don't date just for fun. On the other hand, marriage is a deep thing. with the current me, i think i got more work to do on myself if truly marriage would turn to reality for me someday.

What Happens If I Get Broken Again?
This is the real thinking, and to God who created me, I feel that my current relationship might end up being my last in whatever way it turns out to be. If it goes the other way, I thought of considering IVF as a medium of having my babies and pouring all my love to them.

This brings me to the end of the discussion with myself. However, this end birthed another question and that is…. What would be the response to me babies when I am asked about their Dad?
Up til this moment, I am unable to produce an answer for myself. Maybe your suggestions on the comment section can give me an answer, thanks for stopping by❤