The Fix

Ready? Was I ready? Let me think for a moment. I spent almost two months against my will, and now they are asking me if I am ready to leave.

"I've been ready since the day you brought me here!" I blasted. Now, please get me out of here."

I stood at the door for a long time, and everyone else who was with me came to say goodbye. I drew a smile on my face and said goodbye to that hell-hole and went out into nature.

I am an alcoholic and addicted. I was quiet for eighty-eight days," I said, bidding farewell with a special announcement at each memorial. They brought a car for me and picked me up. No one came to pick me up, and I wasn't expecting anything anyway. Although I was not allowed to drive, I tried to drive - they pushed me into the back seat. But the important thing was that I was free, absolutely free.

I could not describe the feeling of freedom. The air felt fresh, and the colors seemed more vibrant. There was nothing left to do. There is no such thing as 'positivity' so many times it stops making sense. I was out and open. And I knew where to go.

"Just meet me at my place at seven in the evening, and bring your best thing," I said yes and hung up the line."

I called my friends and told them that I was out and had a great need to celebrate. Celebrate, you know what I mean. All the time, I knew one thing. It doesn't matter what your favorite drug is - cocaine, glue, codeine, bitter alcohol - all that matters is how much you can try to solve this little problem in time. A hit to confirm who you were still and how much you can push is the real thing.

I was running towards my house. I looked around to see if my friends had arrived. My fingers were shaking - in excitement. But I somehow managed to open the door and get inside. And that's what I found.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her, "How did you get in?" "I'm your sister. I have an extra key," she replied. I locked myself in my room.

My sister kept the whole room foggy. My mind filled with anger, and I heard the sound of the doorbell ringing. I saw my sister talking to my friends and telling them to leave. I pushed her to aside and tried to stop them, but they were already gone.

"Why are you trying to ruin my life?"

I was yelling at her. She wasn't even trying to argue with me. She was as quiet as ever, just locking the door. I was trying so hard to make her leave me, and she was just determined to stay.

"Please, you don't have to punish yourself anymore," she said, but I was outraged to hear that. Well, to be honest, I didn't want to listen to her. I didn't need her mercy or her sympathy. I didn't need her to judge me and try to fix what was broken. So okay, yes, I screwed up.