Games I've Missed Out On, Including Steam Summer Sales And Life Itself
I have a confession to make, am pretty broke these days. Actually, I've said that before, but now am way too broke for a prolonged time. Resident Evil 4 and Street Fighter 6 came out, couldn't buy either games. Was planning to get a PS5 to play Final Fantasy XVI, didn't happen either.
Outside the fact that a close group of friends has turned on me, my family no longer being able to take care of themselves, having to mostly isolate myself as people I knew a long time ago and tried to reconnect with are busy with their lives, and the world slowly falling apart, I tried my best. One guy who I thought would help turns out lost his job in NY that he got in December.
That guy recently got married, and now I feel guilty asking him about it that way. But the continuation of my misery, missing out on some of the biggest games out there, goes on. Xbox Game Pass did help, but with less good releases than it had before.
Mental Struggles
Yeah, that picture isn't an exaggeration, the past 3 years have been difficult. I've already had my issues with physical health, and before I knew that I had IBS, I was dealing with people in my life, some I've managed to keep close, and we did well with it, but not having all the time to do so, others whom I wrongly assumed were understanding of me, took advantage of gaps and broke me.
The other issue was them thinking that they work so hard, they think me taking shortcuts into crypto and others make me sound like am a bad egg. Even with some of the things I did that went too far, I apologized, but time has proven it wasn't enough. Nobody was perfect, but they had the upper hand. Way too much drama to explain in the right words, even.
I've played games using them as an escape from people since I was a kid, I didn't know how to talk to them, so when my health issues started as a teenager, it made it far more difficult to not only enjoy games, but to be more of myself. The brain fog I experienced made it confusing to talk to people or behave normally for once.
My family is dysfunctional, money isn't an issue, but they are bad at care of themselves or listening to the right opinions, differentiating from the bubble they worked so hard to create. One is a religious zealot who lost her husband too soon, the other decided to use his tragedy to steer the family and keep us in line, but decided to control narratives to his own whim, including about my health issues.
The sad part is, that group whom I thought I could get close to was because they shared the same passion for video games as well as anime. They have basically turned against me for some things, even slanderous.
Greener Pastures
For the last 2 years, I've lived in a sublet. Just renting a room so that I can get away from my family and just deal with things on my own. That sadly didn't pan out, the sublet culture and lifestyle in the capital city (Dhaka) is atrocious. So, we've decided together (me and my mom) to move to the second-biggest city.
The difficult part is the area I am moving to, not even sure about finding the right ISP, which would affect my presence in this site since I won't be able to get to play online, stream, or upload stuff. Dealing with things is much tougher since service is harder to find compared to the capital.
Understandably, the tone seems awkward with the Michael Jordan meme and what you read in the first section, it seems deceptively about being funny, but that's my sense of humor. I am looking at it from a depressed point of view. Everything afterward is to help highlight what's going on in my life now. Mentally and financially speaking, am really broke.
Less/No Games, And Continuing Studies
I've been trying to prepare for this one. Created a bucket list of games I need to finish before I start moving to the next phase of my life. I will be getting my VISA to Kolkata for the check-up I needed, when they find out what's going on, and then start treatment, then I will be sort of done with gaming.
I am a dropout, I didn't get to finish my studies. All of my siblings are married, and some have kids and expecting more too. From a standpoint, I am pretty much behind everything, the stigma here is that you need to be a graduate in order to get good jobs. Which I don't, and haven't done in the freelancing part too.
Not only that, for ease of professional use, I will be selling my PC to get a MacBook Air. It's undoubtedly one of the most efficient devices to use for a myriad of work and study related projects. Not that I am dropping out from PC gaming forever, but to get back at it might take me awhile. Plus, the price of the parts don't seem like I'll do it anytime soon.
I already spend like so much money on this, upgrading parts costing around 2-3K USD in the span of 6 years. Now, I want to focus on productivity, but I will miss playing games a lot. The haven that has helped me get through the worst period, I believe in human history. On the other hand, I need this, I need to get away from my tragic state of mind, and accomplish things with merit.
So yeah, no more games afterward, not going to lie, it's going to be hard. Change is difficult, yet necessary, I've done so much waiting, including the part about getting my body treated, and no thanks to the pandemic, I have strayed far too long.
I won't be able to buy anything from Steam Sales right now, especially prices of 70 USD games that got cut down. Never expected anything to be worse than it was a year ago, and it really did. Wish me luck, guys, I actually need it.
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