Behind the veil
There's something wrong with me and I'll never be good enough. This are words I've told myself all through my years of existence. I've always been alone. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the woman who gave birth to me took one look at me and decided she didn't want me. So I was left at the door of an orphanage. Or maybe it's that no one ever picked me. Everytime a new couple arrived, I'd hope and pray that they were the ones. That for once someone would finally choose me.
It never happened and so when I turned Eighteen I left. Madam Lucille, I was very sure would be overjoyed because she always made it clear that she could do with less mouths to feed. The first few months were the hardest and I struggled alot. Eventually I got used to sleeping on a thrown out bed under a bridge and eating the remains of food left out of restaurants.
Like all those years in the orphanage, I closed my eyes every night hoping and praying that the next day would be better.
The sun was brighter than usual and it burned my skin harshly. It was as if it had argued with the moon the day before. I sat at a park like I had been doing for the past two week designing. It was something that I had always been good at.
"Wow that is is pretty amazing"
I jumped, startled. I looked up, squinting my eye to see a beautiful girl with auburn hair smiling down at me. That was new, the only thing I had ever gotten from people were looks of disgust and irritation.
"T-han-k you". I stuttered.
She sat next to me,"My name is Melissa, what's your name?". She was still smiling. I didn't answer hoping she'd leave me alone. She didn't and apparently this girl had alot to say because for she sat there talking until the sun began to set and I just listened.
Fast forward two years later.
Melissa huffed and puffed as she threw clothes out of her wardrobe.
"I have absolutely nothing to wear. This is going to be the biggest party of the year and I might have to go naked".
I laughed. Melissa was such a drama queen. There were hundred of clothes in there but she always had nothing.
Thinking back, it had been a crazy idea to move in with her when she offered the day after she met me in the park but that was the best decision I ever made. I had gotten a best friend, a home and Melissa's family became my family.
Now I'm in my sophomore year of college, interning in one of the biggest fashion design companies in New York and life could not be better.
"Helloooooo, earth to Brooklyn"
"Sorry, Mel zoned out again, what can I do to help"
She grinned evilly and I knew I shouldn't have asked.
"Well if you want to heal my broken clothless" heart, you'll come to "this party with me". I knew asking was a mistake.
It was no use arguing, Mel always got her way. It still amazes me how she went from clothless" to producing two killer outfits in less than 10 minutes.
This was a bad idea. I didn't do parties infact I didn't do people. I liked to wear comfy clothes and design in my sketch book on Friday nights.
"Why are you standing there like a scared little turtle?".
I turned around to see Carter Prescott glaring at me. Why was he glaring at me?. I didn't do anything wrong to him.Did I?. I couldn't have. Carter Prescott was the big man on campus and he didn't talk to nobody's like me.
"Are you deaf?". I realized I had kept mute but I still didn't say anything. Realizing I wasn't going to talk, he turned around and exited the room. In that moment my legs seemed to have a mind of their own because they followed him outside to where he had sat down and was smoking a cigarette.
I stood there in the shadows watching him. It was nothing new actually.
The first time I saw Carter was the day I moved I'm with Mel. She took me shopping after I declined several times and on our way back her car broke down. We went separate ways trying to get help and I saw him, sitting on a bench smoking. I don't know why but I was entranced and since then I have watched him. I knew how he liked his coffee, what time he ran in the morning, the classes he took, the number of girls he slept with each week. It was creepy and know. But in a sad way I liked it. I liked that all I could do was watch and he was the one guy I could never have.
I was surprised he spoke to me today. Had he been watching me too?. Maybe if this was his story it would be him watching a girl who thought she was invisible.
But this was my story and I was the maybe invisible girl. And you may call me a sucker for pain but that was more than enough.