Weekend Engagement - My Fear

The prompt for this week's post that I will be writing on will be on my fears and what I am afraid of.

Fears in every individual develop due to various reasons. It could be due to personal experience, media exposure or cultural/social influence.

For me, it was due to media exposure and it originated from a TV series that I watched when I was a very young boy.

Background of The TV Series
This series that made such an impact into my life is called Mystery or 迷离夜 in Chinese.

It is made up of 8 small stories with supernatural and surreal encounters. The opening theme song of the series had this eerie sounding music and had a purplish tint as seen below:

Image Source

The story which made a huge impact to my life today in terms of fear was first of the 8 stories revolving a girl whom loved butterflies encountering butterflies which killed her father. That scene that struck the fear to me up till this day was when the girl's father misfired onto a beautiful butterfly that the girl was playing with when attempting to shoot a bird. That butterfly then disintegrated and become many butterflies which went after the girl and her father. While they tried to run, the butterflies further multiplied in numbers and move faster, finally they knew they cannot outrun, the father hugged her daughter and covered her from the attacking butterflies. The butterflies swoop in and flutter onto the father, nibbling on his flesh from head to toe. When the butterflies finally left, all that remain was a man in red bloody scars all over the body. The girl shouted in fear when she saw her dad being killed and this left a scar in her which was seen in later scenes that she yelled in fear when someone gave her a butterfly specimen sealed in a box.

That Scar Did Not Only Affect The Girl
Yes, you probably have guessed, the girl's fear for butterfly did not affect her alone but also translated to me. This scene struck the fear into me and these fluttering little creatures become one of my biggest fears. To many people, butterflies are cute little creatures that flutter from flower to flower to collect pollen. But butterflies and their cousin moth are the things that I do not like to see coming near me.

My friends love to frequent parks and gardens for picnics, but I prefer to be indoors or away from any place that have flower that attract these fluttering creatures. That scene of the butterflies nibbling on flesh never fail to send chills down my spine whenever it flashes in my mind. The feeling of insects nibbling together with the fluttering wings just too disgusting for me to handle.

Also, not only I am scared of their presence, I do not even dare to chase them away. For other creatures like beetles or cockroaches, I have no issues spraying or squashing them with my trusty insecticide or thick catalogue. But whenever a butterfly or moth appears in my house, I will ensure I am in a room that they cannot fly in. I do not have the guts to confront them because the fear of them splitting up and multiplying into many butterflies to come after me is just too scary.

Living With The Fear
I know it my fear really can sound absurd to anyone out there. While today, in my mind after years of education, whatever that I fear of is not scientifically possible, I cannot forget that scene and will naturally react with flight response. For now, I will continue avoiding but I know this is a fear that I face. I will slowly overcome it by reducing the distance from the butterfly or moth whenever I see one. Who knows, after multiple encountering and facing my fear for butterfly, you might see me visiting Singapore Sentosa's Nature Discovery someday. If you do see there, give me a pat on shoulder and shake my hand to congratulate me for successfully overcoming this fear for butterflies.