The letter left by David
That beautiful starry night I arrived home happy with the purchase I had made, a painting with a beautiful woman drinking coffee, I had invited Victoria to my house and I was ready to conquer her, she was a lover of art and this magical drink, I wanted to give a bohemian touch to the house and when I saw that painting I imagined it in the living room, in front of the sofa so that when Victoria saw it she would associate my proximity to art and coffee, two things that fascinated her, besides I was sure that I would be much more interesting in her eyes.
I sat for a while to contemplate the painting and validate if it was at the perfect angle for Victoria to appreciate it while I played piano tunes previously downloaded in my playlist, me always calculating everything.
I was a little tired of so much shyness, it was like the number 10 plan I made to steal a kiss from Victoria and confess my feelings, measuring each of my movements when I was near her, imagining a thousand hypothetical situations where I was so charming that she simply came into my arms, but everything remained in illusions, when the time came I did nothing of what I had planned nor did my most desired reveries happen.
I wanted just for a moment to have the courage to do things, I had nothing to lose, she wasn't even my friend, we had just been dating. While biting my nails and contemplating the painting, promising myself that this time I would just kiss her and that was it, I noticed that something began to come off the back of the painting and as I approached and took it in my hands, oh, it was an old handwritten letter.
What I readed I remember almost daily and many times it gives me courage to do things, here I share it with you:
Today I feel strangely happy, it has been so many days since, you know, the doctor gave me the fateful news. I know that soon I won't even be able to write or walk, today I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I'm feeling good and go jumping off the cliffs or maybe I'll go paragliding.
When you know that soon everything will be over, many fears seem to dissipate, the only fear that does not go away is the fear of dying and although it will happen to all of us, I think it causes less fear when you do not live thinking about it and ironically you see far away the day when it can happen although it can really happen at any time.
Last night I dreamed that paradise is real and my grandmother welcomed me with open arms, maybe it was a trick of my deep mind, my subconscious mind, to relieve some of the anxiety and depression I have been feeling.
As long as I can keep moving my hands, I will keep writing daily on notebook sheets, I tear off one by one to drain what I am feeling and at night I burn them and keep cursing my fate, but today is different, this one I don't want to burn it, I want to preserve it and, as today I feel so good, in spite of everything, I think that sometime someone will read it and maybe it can inspire him to do something positive in his life and so I leave a small legacy, although I do not understand exactly why it is so hard for us to disappear without leaving a trace, a little vanity perhaps, or a lot of it.
Take advantage of the fact that you are alive today and do the things that make you happy, simple things that fill us with joy, ephemeral joys, but happiness at last: go for a run, ride a bike, visit your loved ones, plant some seeds, go dancing, go swimming at the beach, eat chocolate or that delicious dessert that you think will make you gain weight... So many things.
I already told you what I will do today, but first I will go to see the girl I like so much in her violin class and I will steal a kiss, just that, I won't tell her anything, I won't even greet her, I will arrive subtly and just kiss her, then I will run away like a child, I can still run, I know that soon I won't be able to. Then I'll go to the cliff or paragliding, it will be a day of much adrenaline... and you....
What are you doing today?
My name is David, I am 23 years old and a month ago I was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).
P.S: Sorry, if you were expecting something more profound, but, from my point of view at this moment, happiness is found in the simplest things, even if most of the time we don't notice it.
I finished reading the letter and after a big sigh I put it in my pocket.
Victoria knocked on my door, I opened with a genuine smile, hugged her tight and kissed her lips, she reciprocated with the same desire and then said in my ear, "I thought you would never do it, I was getting bored already".
The images used were created in Canva with the free version.
Thank you for reading my participation this week.