My Secret Crush

Source
I was just in my senior secondary when this boy showed up at my school; he was a new student.

Normally, I've always had a way of repulsively snubbing every single person who approaches with the intent of being more than a friend.

I could say I had this distasteful aversion to relationships regardless. So, basically, how did his presence sweep me off my feet?

I couldn't get off his cute sparkling eyes, well-structured pointed nose, and succulent lips, which I could only feel by just looking at them.

I found myself breaking my rules, all because I had a mad crush on him, and it was awkward.

I kept stealing glances at him during class and losing focus on what was being taught. I saw the way the other girls looked at him and the way they were all over him just to get his attention.

And I liked him even more after seeing how reserved and nonchalant he acted toward them.

I guess I was utterly different; we'd never had a conversation. I couldn't possibly break the silence because I had my pride intact.

At some point, I felt the feelings were mutual and instant because, at different consecutive times, I'd stumbled on his eyes fixed on mine. At those times, I would quickly look away so my eyes wouldn't reveal the truth of how I truly felt.

I guess I'd just been fantasizing the whole time. I wasn't the prettiest girl in class, but the image I'd created in my head about us got me optimistic that we could work.

Then I decided that it was high time I broke the silence. Perhaps I could walk up to him and request his note, I thought.

At the end of the class the next day, I walked up to him.

"Hi! I'm so sorry for interrupting you. I figured you were so good with the calculations in today's class, and I'd really appreciate it if you could show me how we arrived at those answers."

"It's fine! But that'd be much later in the day; I would have to go freshen up quickly in the hostel."

Everything seemed so sweet and perfect at the moment. His words kept reverberating in my head, sending shivers down my spine.

"Is that okay for you?" he asked.

"Yes! That's perfect." I immediately cut in.

So he left. I stood still in awe and ecstasy. What just happened?

This was the very moment I'd envisaged, having the time to get to know him better.

So I went back to the dormitory and came out a few hours later, but he didn't show up. I waited for more hours until the sun began to fade away, yet I couldn't find him.

I got devastated and disappointed in him for standing me up the whole time. I should have ended this whole confused fantasy, but I found myself smiling at him the next day in class.

Throughout the day, I'd expected to see him stop by my corner to apologize, but he didn't.

I decided to maintain my reserved personality; it was valuable.

Valentine's Day was just a few days away, and there was absolutely nothing to look forward to. I'd only wished it would come and go in a hurry so the whole plans and preparations by other students would be long done with.

A few days after Valentine's Day, I noticed him constantly hanging around with one of my friends. At first, I thought they were just friends, but later, it mutated into something more than just friends.

I couldn't freak out, not at all. I felt I needed to pour my heart out to someone who'd care to listen.

A term had passed and another session had begun; I'd completely moved on. There was no more room for jealousy or hurt.

One of the days, I was all alone reading a novel titled "Chase," and Mary showed up.

"Hi!" She greeted.

"Hey! What's wrong?" I asked.

"He dumped me. He dumped me for another girl. I did nothing wrong to him," she cried.

"Are you sure you didn't do anything to hurt him?" I inquired.

"I did nothing wrong." She tearfully replied.

I felt heartbroken. She didn't deserve to cry this way for him; he wasn't worth her tears.

At that point, I couldn't help but wonder if he was the same person I once had a secret crush on, because everything about him seemed as though it were all façade.

But in all of these, everyone graduated with excellence.

His name remains anonymous.

Source