I'm Terrified Of Falling In Love

It's been approximately 2 years since my ex left and it doesn't seem like I'd be going into a relationship anytime soon.

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We dated for 3 years my ex and I. It was a relationship full of excitements, drama, so many offs and ons. I was seriously engulfed in love. She was my first everything. But things came to an end sooner than I would have thought. She found out we had same genotype. We're both AS, meaning we were incompatible. If the choice was left to me alone, I honestly would have ignored & still insisted we kept going. But she knew better. We had to let go of the special thing we had.

Honestly, I feel like I've grown past the heartbreak I felt when my ex left but I can't seem to be able to fall in love again. I must admit, ever since my last relationship, I've met a couple of girls I liked but they didn't share the same feelings. I could say I don't make alot of moves because I fear the feeling of rejection but time & again I've had persons who had feelings for me come by but I couldn't bring myself to love them back. And thinking about it now, I probably never would have truly given my all the ones I thought I loved.

Finding love is hard, especially in this part of the world, as the morals have changed drastically over the years. It's now all about money & cruise.
It gets even harder when you not sure you can truly love someone & not hurt the person because deep down you know you're broken. Sometimes I fear I might end up compromising & being with someone I don't love wholesomely.

Truth is I'm scared, I'm scared of being hurt again, I'm scared of hurting someone I know loves me. Sometimes I feel broken & so misaligned and I hold on to pain that I know isn't mine.

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Philophobia is what they call it. I came across this article that talks about it and the possible causes & somehow I could relate, it got me thinking.
For a while I haven't really given much thoughts into the fact that I can't seem to love but now I think I really do have to work on myself. Time & again the feelings of loneliness creeps in but I can't seem to put myself out there and get myself to fall in love with someone. I'll be graduating from the university this year & I think it's about time I learn to love again.