BUILDING CONFIDENCE BEGINS FROM CHILDHOOD AND PARENTS HAVE AN IMPORTANT ROLE TO PLAY

over 1 year ago

Hello everyone and welcome to my blog at this hour. As human beings we put every efforts into becoming confident in the way we speak, dress and approach life's issues. We strive to improve our self-esteem and ensure that it is always high and not low at all times. But we should bear in mind that building confidence should not start at adulthood, it should begin from childhood and parents should be responsible for this and not teachers. Well, sit back, relax and enjoy all that I have packaged for your reading pleasure.

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I visited a family friend sometimes ago in their house, and I also met some other families there as well. Along the line, the second child of the family who was about four years old was playing around and making so much noise, then the father's reaction was out of this world. The man screamed as loud as possible to call this young lad to order. Not only that he also sent him to his room to go and sleep. This didn't fall on the good side of one of the visitors who was around who advised him not to scold his child like that. He further pointed out that the child would become timid and may not be able to express himself as much as he should because of the fear that he will be punished. By extension, this means that he will lose his confidence.

Confidence in a nutshell is the ability to be able to stand in front of a large crowd without stuttering, the ability to be able to volunteer to take up roles that others are not willing to take, the ability to start a conversation with a stranger without fear and so on. We often make a mistake by assuming that children develop their confidence within the four walls of the school or when they are in the midst of their peer group. In actual fact, a child builds his or her self confidence at a tender age and it begins from the home - the first institution of learning. So many parents have made the mistake of making their children hide in their shells by not giving them the opportunity to express themselves freely at home.

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If a group of 10 people were given a challenge to ask a stranger for directions to a particular location, you'd observe that some will feel reluctant to make the move, some will not even make the move at all while some will not even think about it twice before asking the questions. This is hinged on self confidence. In a home where a child can not freely discuss with his parents it will be difficult for such child to be able to speak outside the home. We all learnt a bunch of our habits from our homes, it's just a few that we learnt from the outside world. Parents are the first teachers and they are the ones who teach their children how to speak, eat, walk, etc. I have come across a woman telling a woman who just gave birth that she need to speak to her baby more often if she want the child to speak fast or early.

That is the reason you'd see babies of the same age, let's say 1½ years or 2 years, that one will be speaking and the other won't be speaking yet. It is based on the efforts that the parents put into nurturing the child. Babies will repeat what is being said to them and gradually they begin to mumble those words back. This is also applicable to building your child's confidence and self-esteem. Let your children know that confidence does not have to do with being able to get the result you desire but it has to do with being able to make a decision and owning up to it whether you fail or pass. If your child is used to winning at all times and they leave the house to experience things go the other way round, they may feel very miserable. Hence, it is important to let them see your shortcomings as parents and not only your winnings.

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Have you heard some children being addressed as "spoilt children"? Well these are the children that the parents spoon feed all the time. They never give them the opportunity to stand on their own to make key decisions. Sometimes it is better to relax and allow your child make their own decisions, when they fail they will learn a lesson that they won't forget. But if you always hold them by the hand to do everything they would not have a personal experience of their own. When you are not available and it is time for them to man up there will be little or no confidence since they've always got everything on a platter of gold.

In a nutshell, parents should not leave the responsibility of building their children's confidence and self-esteem in the hands of teachers alone. It is also their responsibility to ensure that their children are confident in themselves right from the way they treat them at home.

All contents are originally written by me, @williams-owb

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Williams Oluseyi is a Linguist by discipline from one Africa's Most Prestigious Citadel of Learning, Obafemi Awolowo University. He developed interest for blogging at very early stage which motivated him to study English Language in College. He is a prolific writer, an inquisitive and judicious reader, to say the least. To get his daily bread, he is currently working in a Logistics company in Nigeria.