DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE INDEPENDENT
Hello everyone and welcome to my blog at this hour. We love the sound of hearing that our loved ones want to support us when we are in need and we are usually grateful for these kind gestures. Like a Yorùbá adage that says "ẹni tí ó bá dúpẹ́ ọrẹ àná, a ri òmíràn gbà" (he who shows gratitude for the support he received will definitely be considered for another one). There is a feeling of utmost satisfaction that is associated with getting support from family and friends. You're always confident that you will have people who will have your back when you are in need of financial or emotional support. Well, sit back, relax and enjoy all that I have packaged for your reading pleasure.
Sadly, we can not always rely on the help and support from friends and family. Sometimes, we feel alone, rejected and discarded when we look up to these people and they are nowhere to be found when we need them most. It may be that they have their own pressing issues to attend to that they do not have the time or resources to cater for someone else. It may also be that they are tired of answering to you needs each time you come calling - don't forget that we are humans, we have our limits. There are lessons to learn from the phase of your life when you are left alone. It is not the moment to start thinking about how your loved ones abandoned you with your situation.
There is a positive side to being left alone. It is a time to reflect on how to be independent and truly stand alone. It will get to a stage where parents will take care of their children, teach them about the dos and don'ts of life and they will leave them on their own to experience life. It is during these period that the children will use the lessons that they have learnt to steer their life. Standing alone have so much benefits which include that you will be able to build confidence and courage to face the challenges that comes your way in life. But, if you are being breastfed all the time you will be looking up to people to fight your battles for you.
A child didn't start walking the day he or she was born. It takes the effort of the parents to show him or her how to take those baby steps one after the other. Then, after some months they will leave the child to make attempts to walk on his own. Even though he or she may have some failed attempts, people will laugh and make jokes out of the situation but with time the child will be able to walk perfectly without any form of help whatsoever. Are you still being held in the hands in your finances, career, relationship? Or you have mastered the art of walking independently?
Note that learning to walk on your own does not mean that you would not need people in your life anymore, but what it means is that you will still survive effortlessly when they are not available to support you. When the people who you look up to for help disappoint you, you'd not breakdown weeping and wailing but you'd stand strong because you can go about it on your own. So many big dreams have died because the people who promised to support those dreams defaulted and the person who have the dreams is fully dependant on them. This is the biggest mistake that anyone can ever make. There are phases of your life that demands that you stand alone and you don't have to let your dreams and aspirations die because you haven't mastered the art of standing on your own.
Have you heard of adults who could not run their homes because they still receive instructions from their parents? I have heard of a man who needs the permission of his mother to do anything in his own home. There are women who must wait for go-ahead from their parents before they do things in their home. This has led to the end of so many homes today. Couples that are not independent, who do not have a mind of their own will definitely ruin the home that they are building. But as a married man or woman who is independent, you will be able to say no to bad advices that can ruin your marriage from people around you. That's your strength!
The decision is yours to make on how you want to run your life when you are alone. Do you want it to be a promising one or one that you will look back and be filled with regrets? You can be alone and still achieve a whole lot that you may not have achieved when people were their to support you. The phase when you are alone is not the time to be filled with regrets. It is a time to show your strength and power. In as much as you love being in the company of people and you appreciate their support, you should also learn to support yourself in your alone moments.
All contents are originally written by me, @williams-owb
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Williams Oluseyi is a Linguist by discipline from one Africa's Most Prestigious Citadel of Learning, Obafemi Awolowo University. He developed interest for blogging at very early stage which motivated him to study English Language in College. He is a prolific writer, an inquisitive and judicious reader, to say the least. To get his daily bread, he is currently working in a Logistics company in Nigeria.
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