Neglect is abusive

over 1 year ago

Ignoring a person and not caring about who they are, what they want, what they need is like telling them they are not important over and over again.

Maria Consiglio

One thing I figured out recently about me is I tend to be more free around kids than with adults so I've decided to chase my dream around that aspect to becoming a child instructor or prolly a pediatrician.

My mom's friend brought her autistic daughter to the house yesterday and the situation in which I met her, made my heart grief. She was sitting all by herself in a corner with her face buried in her knee. I walked to her and said hi but she didn't respond. She rather put her head down there and to get her attention, I told her I had toys in my room which she can play with and after a while, she reluctantly followed me to my to get the toys. I saw how mentally stressed she was and decided to talk to her. She's seven and with the little she said, I could understand her.

I tried playing with her using the toys, she felt reluctant to play but when she saw that I didn't stop, she smiled and played along. While we played, she suddenly stopped and asked me why I was playing with her I wasn't surprised to hear her ask me that so I just said because I like playing with kids like you.

She smiled again and I saw her blush. She told me but people don't like playing with me, they push me away because of how I am. I got teary hearing her say that. I made her seat beside me. I understood everything she was going through and the first thing I said to her to cheer her up was she could have as many of my toys she wanted. Afterall I wanted to give them out. They were all toys from childhood and I didn't find someone dear to give them out to but meeting this child made me want to share.

I understood what she felt, neglecting someone especially a child is toxic, no matter how they are, they still deserve love to at least stay alive.

I asked her;

Do you value yourself?

She reluctantly said she doesn't know if she does as people have refused to make friends with her. She sounded so sweet, calm and emotional. I took her hands, they were cold and wet maybe she was scared. I told her that the first way to overcome neglect was to value herself. She had to so others can see she doesn't care about them whether or not they valued her. I told her to treat herself with kindness, respect and she should in every way avoid self criticism. She didn't make herself the way she turned out to be. Life happens.

I also had to do a little quiet your mind time with her. We sat on the floor with legs crossed and meditated. Meditation also helps to calm the brain and mind. She was calm the whole time though paid little attention.

If I had more time as it was evening already, I'd have taken her for a walk in nature. At least the fresh air alone could be of help. I didn't know how to teach that child all she needed to know in just a few hours but I know the little attention I gave her went a long way.

She was super excited about the toys I could see it in her reaction. Her mother shed a tear and thanked me. Her daughter had not been smiling in days and that can be devastating for a parent. I let her take the toys she liked, she adored them and before leaving, she asked if she could be my friend, we were all surprised to hear that and I gave her a big yes as an answer if only it would make her stay happy and alive.

She already has a condition and neglecting her means more damage. I just wonder how some people do it, how they have no conscience at all. She won't bite, I know many say they can hurt people around them but I know if you show them a little love and care while keeping an eye on them everything would be fine. They only misbehave when they're upset/when they experience discrimination.

They're humans too and can sense discrimination. Just a pinch of love and care can save a life.