It is common for partners in serious relationships to engage in arguments, silent treatments and the likes that could last for a while before coming to a resolution. Even though it is advised to engage in occasional arguments with your significant other in relationships as it can be healthy, when it becomes too much it can negatively affect your personal life and overall well-being.
Photo by Boris Jovanovic from Istockphoto
Notwithstanding, don't panic if you and your partner are always having arguments. It does not always signify that your relationship is about to come to an end, it may be that you're only presently going through a difficult time in your relationship. This does not mean that you should ignore all red flags that could be an indication that the two of you are not compatible. There are quite a number of things that you can do to improve your relationship to make it a happy one.
1. Take enough time to identify the reasons why you are always fighting. This can allow you to truly get to the root of the problem, look for ways to address it and reduce the chances of the constant fights between you and your partner. Are you mad at your partner for not doing dishes everytime they eat? Or you don't like the way they keep late nights? Or the fact that they don't appreciate all you do for the two of you? Most arguments are a build-up of some of the happenings in a relationship over a period of time.
2. Most partners are guilty of paying so much attention to a situation when their significant other said something out of annoyance or did something that makes them angry, to the extent that they think about such situation that they can't focus on anything else. In most cases, it leads to resentment where you may try to plot a revenge by making the issue become complex rather than forgiving them. This kind of attitude will lead to constant arguments which will drive you away from your partner.
3. Avoid the temptation of always seeing things in your own perspective only. You are in a relationship with another human being who have their own emotions, experiences, expectations etc, and it will be unfair for you to expect them to want everything always go the way you want it. Sometimes all you need is to put yourself in your partner's shoes - ask yourself if you will be happy if someone's treating you in this manner. Try to observe how they feel the next time you get into an argument before you start using words that you may not ordinarily want anyone to use for you.
4. It is important to know the right time to start a heated conversation between you and your partner. It would be a wrong idea to start a conversation that may lead to an argument after you just finished a delicious meal - be rest assured that the sweet feeling of the food will not last. It is also certain that one of you will end up in the guest room or on the couch if you try to start a heated argument when you are about to go to bed. The best moments to have a heated conversation is when you both have some time on your sleeves to talk without getting interrupted or distracted, when you can gaze into each other's eyes and have a heart to heart discussion. You can take a break and continue later if it is becoming too intense.
5. How would you feel if you wake up to see that you're no longer in the position to be called your partner's partner? Remember that you love and care about this person so much and you'd not want to imagine your life without him or her. You'd feel very bad if you realize that you are no longer an item. When you imagine your life without your significant other it will become easy for you to appreciate them. During these periods of imagination you will remember the things they do that make you smile, how much you enjoy their company. Even if they suck at doing the dishes or taking care of the pets, they do cook delicious meals and your kisses are always top-notch. When you remember all these things that you fancy about your partner you get to appreciate them more and tend to argue less.
