Been Away From Hive, Back With An Honest Rant
I don't know how it's been one week since I last wrote a post on hive. Oh wait, but I know why. I'm too tired at the end of the day to gather my thoughts together. Even on days when I'm able to finish work on time, I attend to other things and there's no time left thereafter.
Today is one of such days where I finished early enough but I immediately went to bed. I had been dozing off while working (which has been happening frequently lately) and couldn't wait to finish and get proper sleep. I get about 4 hours of sleep every night, I guess my body is fed up at this point.
I want to say that I'd try to get more hours, but that doesn't seem likely. I go to bed at about 11pm, toss and turn for at least 2 hours, eventually sleep, and have to be up by 5am. I don't like myself very much for this but I gotta do what I gotta do.
My body feels weird with all the dozing off, cold, tight knot feeling in my chest and even vomiting. I did vomit earlier in the day after an insect entered my mouth. I felt very uneasy and my gut was irritated, next thing, I was in the bathroom vomiting the heck out of me. I was scared that I had seen blood but it was just the cold and catarrh syrup I had taken earlier.
I was innocently living my life when my husband caught a cold and now he's well but he passed it on to me. I don't feel terrible because it's been treated immediately but my gut does feel like crap.
Speaking of crap, why are people so shitty? I don't get why some people lack actual manners and can't act appropriately. I had dressed up today, feeling really good and went to the bank to sort out some things. It was my first time at this bank and I ran into a familiar face.
It was someone I knew from the gym from last year and she stood there, looking like she had seen a ghost. First thing she said is, "what happened?", still looking at me, head to toe, stunned. In my head I'm like, "what the fuck you mean?"
Of course, I knew what she meant, I am bigger than she last saw me and she stood frozen, like it was the worst thing she had ever seen in her life. I wasn't offended but rather amused at this reaction. People have always commented on my weight since I was little and it means absolutely nothing to me, it was just very interesting to see how this person was being inappropriate at her own workplace.
I ignored her question and confirmed if she actually worked there because she looked like a staff, but she was more interested in my obvious weight gain. She took it up a notch and asked if I had a baby. I had to hold my laugh in and smiled instead because what the actual fuck?
In what world is that appropriate? I can excuse the older folks who make reckless remarks about people's weight because I've completely ruled out their chances of unlearning bad behaviour, it's the young people that amaze me.
In that moment, all I could see were her own insecurities. She would hate herself if she gained some extra weight like I have and she thinks I must be utterly miserable moving about like this. She couldn't even hide her feelings or contain her foolish thoughts.
I understand people and insecurities, I have my own insecurities too but weight gain has never and will never be one of them. I'm not insecure about it and I see no reason why someone I barely know should 'help' me be insecure or project their own insecurities on me.
Maybe if I put a sticker on my head that says I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and it is responsible for my frequent weight fluctuations, people would keep their opinions to themselves. But the thing is, no one has to know my story before they act appropriately with me.
I don't have to tell anyone that I barely eat as much as they do or that I gain weight going to the gym instead of losing, or the many other issues I have to deal with from having a metabolic condition.
I treat people decently not because I know their stories, but because it's the right thing to do. I really do not like that saying, "Treat people nicely, you don't know what they're going through". Fuck if you know what I'm going through? I don't even want to know what you're going through, I have my own shit to deal with but I will never be rude and condescending to anyone.
The gag is, I look good at whatever size my body decides to go with and right now, I absolutely love how I look. If society's standard is a determinant for how people view their own weight, it's not for me.
I walked into that bank feeling really good about myself, I left feeling good even after that rude encounter. I don't have a problem, shitty people do.
This was basically how my day went and I thought to share as I recall the event. I'm lounging right now, happy about not doing anything this night. I'd shower, do my skincare and hopefully, fall asleep early tonight so I can wake up refreshed.
By the way, it's PCOS Awareness month this September, and I thought I'd mention it because I haven't had time to make my Awareness post yet. Here's the Awareness post I did last year, do check it out if you're a woman and have no idea what PCOS means.
Thanks for reading 😊
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So this is the Pretty Face behind @wolfofnostreet you are very beautiful 😍❤️ Welcome Back dear
Hehe....thank you
Welcome 🤗
Black is truly beautiful
Yes
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Been off a while myself. And oh I get your experience with the girl. Hahaha...mine has always been the opposite -"Why are you so slim?" "Just add little flesh,you are really slim oh". Me,I move on and enjoy my slim self.
The lesser you pay attention to them,the better.
Thanks.
Funny how I also relate to the 'why are you so slim' question when I lost weight
Hahahaha
Spot on!
It’s funny how people think they can throw unsolicited opinions about people’s body types. The painful part is most times, these people are the ones close to you, forgetting that a lot of people already battle with body dysmorphia.
Love your confidence & thank you for sharing🤗
Some people really don't care about others' feelings, they derive satisfaction in feeling somewhat better than others.
Thanks for reading 😊
Ugh, the nerve of some people. And it speaks about how insecure they are. My mom loves commenting on weight. One day I threw the bone back at her and she started yelling at me. Funny thing. The deal if treating each other well is kinda BS. I know being kind is the best way of making people feel good, but there's the kind of imbeciles that will take offense at kindness. It makes no sense, but humans rarely do in general. I like how you show your resolve at that moment and walked out of the bank unscathed from that poison. Hope you're doing better from that cold. 😅
Oh wow 😅 Moms usually have a lot to say but can't take back the heat.
It's just sad that that would have been hurtful to someone else.
Doing way better, thank you 😊
Glad to know you're doing better! 😁
About the other two things, insecurities thrive in society. The only way around those particular issues is doing the heavy work of oneself. It isn't easy. And people are usually thrown off by their own words. It almost hilarious how that works. 🤣
SIGH. Every now and then we have to deal with the uncultured and oblivious ones.
I'm sorry about everything baby. 😔
You look so gorgeous in the photos and your pants are giving. 🤗😘💓😍
Thanks my Sugar 🥺
The first thought I had when I saw your picture was how hot you looked and how I could steal your top 😆 people are just crazy; I recently gained weight and I have had the whole “you are getting fatter” thing and it is so irritating, first of all I see my self daily and secondly you don’t know what I am going through.
Oh well, you shouldn’t stress yourself this much abeg; coming from someone who has the same life as you at the moment 😂
Thank you jor. I know I look good so what the heck was she talking about 😩
See, I can't let anyone stress me abeg, Nigeria's wahala is already too much.
We need to be casting out the spirit of hate, and yes oh, no extra stress needed
Some people really are shitty! I could understand if it was a close friend and they were worried about you and trying to see if there was something wrong but if it was just someone from the gym what gives them the right to be rude like that? People suck lol.
Stressful jobs and lack of sleep definitely has effects on lots of different things in our bodies!
The level of toxicity I saw a girl experience at the gym made me cancel the entire gym. The worst part is they don't realise how rude and invasive they're being to people. I really hoped that girl wasn't too affected by that incident.
Anyway, I'm getting more sleep now and I generally feel better.
Thanks for stopping by! I hope you're doing great
Wow yeah that kinda response to seeing somebody is shrieking 'I'm insecure'. It's great you can say such positive things about yourself. Most people who have taken so much effort to be skinny are often borderline obsessive about their image.
The younger generation are spending more time photoshopping the shape of their bodies to a point that they look like alien beings, than they spend actually taking care of themselves.
I'm an exceptionally insecure person myself, and although I've come to accept it in most daily life situations, things people say like that can eat me up inside, just a little bit, for literally years. Most people don't realise the power they can have on people.
But I can still comfortably say I'm happier than them because they have succumbed to societal requirements and that's gotta suck big time XD
😄😄 aliens. I like an alien butt though.
That's a bigggg achievement, to be happy with ourselves despite our insecurities that pop their heads out now and then. I'm happy for you ❤️
First let me say people should
Just learn to be kinder with their word because people are going through a lot
And In What world did they put the law that married woman who haven’t had babies aren’t allowed to gain weight
Cox I get it a lot
The sly remarks ‘take it easy o you never born you don dey round when you born e no go easy to manage o’
It’s a very stupid way of speaking I tell you
Anyway please oo through out this post I kept looking for the exact picture where you gained weight
Because I can’t even wear a crop top like you, my tummy will disgrace me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
You look good girl
😅😅 It's so offensive but I can't even get angry because it's just a bad case of ignorance.
Lol...maybe I wasn't bloated on this day but it's there 😄
So sorry you have been experiencing sleep problems. I can't imagine how people can function with 4 hours sleep every night but I hope you can have some rest day where you could just sleep all day :< I wish I could recommend you some things to do to fall asleep quickly but I also don't know how as I don't have problems with falling asleep. Maybe a melatonin gummy would work? But I don't know much about it so maybe ignore me hahah. I just hope you feel better soon.
And yeah wtf those people commenting on your weight like you asked for it! It's 2022 and people who are active on social media knows pretty much to be careful with commenting but damn some people really think they can just say what they want without being sensitive to other people's feelings. I love your confidence tho and am happy for you!! Your body is also beautiful and I love how you dress yourself. Suits on you well :D
Thank youuu
I've been sleeping better lately thankfully. I read about the melatonin gummies, I'd get them if I can find them.
Fortunately or unfortunately, (I don't even know which), I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me at all. It's like a norm around here to be so opinionated and vocal about others. You grow a tough skin overtime.
Thank you 😊🥰❤️
First.. I celebrate you for being able to work and come back and write content… since i started working a 9-5 and a remote at night i barely have time to myself… juggling 2 jobs is crazy i wonder how the folk abroad do it… but u am determined to even though it seems hive would suffer from it🥺🥺.
I had no idea what PCOS was till recent when i had to read about it from a friend, it is a whole lot, thank God people do not look like what they go through and the least we can do is not be insensitive to that fact…
I can imagine the disgust when you were questioned, you were even nice enough to ignore as far me i am team we need to start putting people in their rightful place… only though who decide to get treat me nicely get that in return ..
In all it good to see your face again, you look great girl ❤️❤️❤️
Being awhile