It's Not Always Easy To Forgive

People always say that it is easy for them to Forgive, but sometimes I am tempted to ask them, “Have you found yourself in a situation where the gravity of what the person did is beyond measure?” You could say you can forgive easily but can you forgive someone that killed somebody close to you?

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For me, it takes me a while to forgive. Not because I want to hold the grudges for a long time but because I can’t find myself forgiving and forgetting about it immediately. People say Forgive and Forget but then most times when I try to Forgive, I still get flashbacks of whatever happened, and that way I find it difficult to forgive.

There was a certain time that my close friend did something very terrible to me. You could judge an event from afar when you are not in the shoes of the person it happened to. I know this because before now when I see people that their friends did something terrible to say that “They can’t forgive their friends” I will always be like why don’t you just overlook it? I didn’t know how it felt until it happened to me.

I had a friend, who was very close to me. I found out one day that she was having something to do with someone I was dating. I think it all started when I used her phone to call him since I was charging mine. I later found out that she kept texting him and telling him terrible things about me. Most times I and the guy will end up fighting over something I didn’t do and he was so foolish enough not to tell me who was feeding him with all these lies.

It was so heartbreaking because whenever I fought with this boy I would go back to my friend and look for comfort and she would tell me how I shouldn’t be wasting my time with him and condemn him in several ways. She made me believe he was having another affair that’s why we had frequent fights. When I decided to dig deep I later realized that he was having an affair with her.

I was heartbroken. I would have let it slide but then when I confronted her, she told me how I didn’t deserve him that she was way better than him, and how I fell into her trap. Honestly, I was pained and I vowed never to forgive her. When I found out that the boy stopped dating her after a few months I was super excited, this made me feel like a bad person.

When she came back to apologize to me. I just told her it was fine. It took me a while to forgive her though but I am happy I was able to forgive her and keep her at arm's length.

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For me, it takes me time to forgive because I think I am an emotional person and forgiveness should come from the heart so whenever I see you, I don’t get to remember whatever happened and even if I remember it, I do not get pained.

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