A well Deserved Coffee Audience

I had just gotten back from grocery shopping. Grocery shopping was the second most tedious task I had to do weekly with teaching stubborn kids in a school being the first.

I purchased some potatoes, apples, canned tomatoes, tuna, strawberries and oh! My favourite baby, the bag of coffee.

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Coffee was me and I was coffee. I could barely go a day without taking it. I wasn't addicted though. Not only does my coffee have zero calories, it's also good for my health when taken moderately.

I dropped the grocery bag on the kitchen slab and hurried up to my room. I really needed to ease myself so I yelled, "no one should touch my coffee" twice before dashing off to my bathroom.

I was the only coffee lover at home and everyone hated that fact. They all settled for tea and always shrugged the topic off whenever I mentioned 'my very yummy coffee'

My siblings had caught me on several occasions having a conversation with my coffee bag as I was making myself a cup of coffee.

"Dear coffee, don't worry, I will keep you safe. Don't get drenched by their hate. They don't know what they are missing".

The facial expressions from my siblings always made me look crazy but who cares? I don't.

After relieving myself, I hopped on my bed and got carried away with my phone.

I woke up the next morning to a kitchen shelf with no coffee. My suspect list was wide because no one at home actually liked my coffee. Everyone was a suspect! Investigation was one of my favourite things to do and so I began investigating.

I went into everyone's room to ask politely, 'who took my coffee' but they all denied carrying it.

At this point, I almost felt like I lost my mind. I bought the coffee from the grocery store and brought it right back home. Could I have forgotten it at the store? Did it fall off somewhere or was someone behind this.

My little sister was the most vulnerable and so I promised her an ice cream and cake treat if she told me who carried my coffee. That always works. She mentioned my brother's name without blinking twice and as such I found my culprit. She went on to enumerate that he got the go ahead from my parents but he was the one in custody of my coffee bag.

Torturing him wasn't a hard task as I had access to his bank account( his worst mistake) and he was going on a date that afternoon. The clock was ticking.

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I sat at the comfort of my room and transferred all the money from his account to my account.

He got the notification after two minutes and he jolted to my room. He opened my door and yelled

"Wongi, what the actual hell? Why did you take all my money"

I replied
"You won't want to look broke in front of your date. Most girls don't like cashless guys. Do you want to take only tap water during your date?"

"Of course not!" He replied

"All these crises can be avoided if I get back my coffee and! " I stalled

"And? What else do you need young woman " he asked

"And you agree to listen to me while I give you a speech about coffee and it's benefits for an hour" I responded with a smirk.

"You've got to be kidding me! There's no way I'd listen to your boring speech about coffee!" He exclaimed.

"Then we don't have a deal" I shrugged.

He jammed my door and walked out.

Five, four, three, two and boom!
He was back. I could literally detect all my brother's moves.

"Okay fine. I accept. Anything to prevent an embarrassment with my date today" he said, sounding defeated.

He stepped out and came back with my bag of coffee and a listening ear.

I kept going on and on for an hour and that was one of the best hours of my life. The expression on his face was priceless. He hated every passing minute more and more but I was having so much fun.

In the end, I got my coffee bag back and I gave him a proper lecture about coffee. Maybe he listened and maybe he didn't but I finally got to share my view about coffee with someone in the family.

After an hour, I sent back his money after making him say 'thank you dear wongi for the lecture'. I felt so much ecstasy.

My torture wasn't taking his money, but giving him the 'coffee lecture' he had dreaded all his life. I'm a genius, I know.

Thank you very much for reading this far.

With love, wongi ✨