Financial hurdles and all that
It has been a rough couple of weeks for me. I've been battling with anxiety, haemorrhoids and, trying To get my shit in order to make sure I don't end up completely poor can be a daily struggle but I try to keep my head up.
I refer to myself as financially "semi-dependent". While I no longer have the privilege of an allowance, I don't get to spend on gas and food like most dependent people. I live with my parents and family most time so my ass gets the proper coverage when I have no money.
Regardless of that fact, my independent mind doesn't seem to want to sit still. I could just chill, not do anything meaningful with my life and still be alright but I, unfortunately, don't know how to do that.
Asides from the fact that I always tend to find random activities to keep me busy, I always have to pause and restructure coz the goal is PRODUCTIVITY and not just being BUSY.
These past couple of days have been tough. I haven't had a lot of productive activities that place some cash in my pockets so I've been simply busy doing shit that brings no immediate cash to my pocket.
To an extent, I shouldn't feel bad because I've been mastering my product design skill and I've generally gotten really good. However, my need to solve immediate problems doesn't let me stay focused.
I took a $20 loan from my mom today and I hate how horrible it makes me feel. While I understand that at my age, it's okay for me to take money from my parents it just feels like I'm an ungrateful person.
They don't feel weird about it or act like I'm making a request that's out of the ordinary, yet I know I should be better than that.
There's a major recession creeping in in my country and other countries and I can't help but still worry because I know things are going to get worse really soon and there's nothing I can do at this point to give my finances the needed boost.
I remember how we anticipated this recession last year and even write posts on how we would do things differently. Well, I haven't done shit and it keeps biting my ass.
I guess I just needed to rant and let out my emotions in some way. It's really not a nice feeling not having my shit together but yeah, I'm working on it.
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