Midnight letters prompt #19: My thoughts grow in silence.
I could remember when I was a little girl. My grandma will jokingly call me a chicken haha! and that's because I sleep early like a chicken. As early as 7pm I will lay on my bed and enjoy my sleep. Nobody actually cares because I'm a child. I have nothing to worry about other than eating, sleeping and playing.
I was being fed, cloth and my only responsibility was school.
I was less concerned about the future and was just living in the moment.
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But suddenly everything changed, my role changed, my childhood silently drifted away and responsibility came in. I no longer live the life of a receiver but a protector.
I suddenly need to protect myself. I had to focus on my studies more, help my parents at home, do the house chores , take care of my little sister, and my assignment. I had to stay awake longer because that's the only quiet time for me to study. And that was how the routine changed.
I was no longer a chicken haha well the time didn't move an inch. Just my awareness increased.
Though it's not a bad thing. It's only natural that we grow but many of us do say this when we remember our childhood “wish i can go back to those days”.
Then after secondary school another role began. I got admission into a higher institution. I thought it was going to be similar to my secondary school days. But nobody told me it was going to be difficult or there are going to be tough times.
My role changed again. I will sleep late and burn my candles preparing for a 3 unit course.
And then I learn a new skill which I'm glad I did because yes education is important but it is necessary to have a skill.
And I'm glad I took that bold step because today I'm proud to be a professional crochet artist.
And all of a sudden I need to balance education and my new brand.
And the only time that helps me think, process my thoughts and increase my creative mind is midnight.
At midnight the silence embraces my every thought and filters it. I can never achieve that during the day.
At first it wasn't easy. But over time I learn to adapt to my new life.
And I think owling is not actually bad for me. “What about you?”
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Posted by 12:12am GMT
Honestly, it's not easy. When we were small, we eat any foods we like and even sometimes we won't do household chores because we were small but now responsibility is now on our shoulders. Especially being a student and also having your own personal work is not an easy task. We need balance, when we were small we were relaying on our parents for help but now it's our younger sister relaying on us to help them in times of financial, emotional and likes.
You're absolutely right.
And during the day my mind is occupied with thoughts about these responsibilities.
And as humans, we make mistakes, get angry, solve problems, and for me midnight is the only time i can think about myself, or mistakes I've made during the day and being a better version of myself is at midnight.
☺️☺️🙏 Thank you for stopping by.
Adulthood is a big scam, if I had known that it's like this, I would have preferred to remain a child 😃😃😃 I remembered calling my Mom to tell her that I'm tired of being an adult, because of billing. But we are grateful for life and I pray that God will continue to help us.
🤣🤣🤣 for real it's not easy.
My dear friend.