How Do You Help People Who Don't Make An Effort?
Society has made things really difficult for some people. There are people who by nature you should help or love to help but one thing or the other has made them play blind to their circumstances or situation.
Also, some people have marred or blocked the help access of many other people out there who genuinely need help or seek it.
A lot of people have refused to offer help to most people because of what the world has turned into. Sometimes the help you rendered could be used against you someday without your knowledge.
Some have been hurt, injured, and even got their lives destroyed all in the name of giving or rendering help, and most times to total strangers.
While some people might get harmed trying to help, some don't even make an effort to show they really deserve the compassion others should have for them and be moved to help them.
You don't expect everyone to do everything for you. If you are seeking someone's help, atleast you should make an effort, let it be seen that you tried your best yet nothing good came out of it before someone steps in to help, and not that you didn't even do anything about your situation or condition.
Folding your hands to your own problems and going about seeking help isn't always the best approach.
Try out something first, fail and try again before you seek other people's help. Make an effort and rest assured that if you happen to meet a kind helper, he or she wouldn't hesitate to help you.
Let me pause and ask these few questions.
Peradventure you happen to meet a lazy kind of person out them with life challenges or problems, and then you realized the person has done nothing about his or her condition, yet such a person is seeking other people's help, what would you do in such case?
Would you be happy to help the person?
Would you still offer to help if you are capable even after knowing and seeing that the person hadn't made any attempt to better his or her situation? When the effort and zeal are not seen, will you still play blind to this fact and go ahead to help?
This is what I would love to hear from you guys today as we discuss.
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9 November 2022
Interesting question, because I think we all have, or will have, this scenario at one time or another.
My wife has a friend who we help out a lot. She's a single mother of 2 young kids, she can't hold a job for more than a month, and she constantly makes choices that keep her in her situation but she's always asking for help. My wife has had to tell her straight up, "I'll help you if you are doing something to help yourself." Basically, "meet me halfway", or "I'll put in as much effort as you."
Most of the time this is the case and I like to believe it will make a person become independent over time, but this friend is constantly on this roller coaster of life. Things will be going good for a bit, then she makes some bad choices, often the same ones as before, then things head downhill.
It's tough to see her struggle and my heart, and my wife's heart, want to help her as best we can, but if/when we bend over too far to help, it just enables her to stay stuck in her situation.
This is a sad one :(
But isn't she aware of these bad choices she makes that always end up putting her in the same position as the previous ones? Can't she do anything about it to avoid it from always repeating itself?
In this case, this person is making an effort yet she is also ruining that effort in the long run. She needs a way bigger help I think.
Perhaps someone close could reach out to her, sit her down and talk things through, it could really go a long way, in case she doesn't just know or observe the cycle things are always going for her.
I understand that you and your wife are moved with compassion to help her but like you said, you guys can't keep doing that forever, she needs to help herself better by being conscious of the wrong choices she makes that always put her in such a situation as you mentioned.
I'm happy to help if help is needed, but no. When I see the person does not make any effort to change their situation, instead they are waiting for others to do the work, that's not what I support. There's a saying in Hungarian, help yourself and God will help you too. It's a good teaching that I follow. Those who are always waiting for others to solve their problem will not get anywhere.
I would also like to suggest ThoughtfulDailyPost community for this type of topics next time, seems like this topic would fit perfectly.
We've got that same saying here.
But here we put it this way Heaven helps those who help themselves, I believe it means the same as yours.
I really do not know why some people refuses to help themselves or atleast try to make an effort before seeking help elsewhere.
Oh! Thank you for your contribution. Well, I guess you are right about this topic fitting into that community, thanks for recommending it, I appreciate it.
Exactly, its so frustrating how you see people and feel bad for their conditions yet, you fully know they can help themselves out if they truly wanted to. I passed along a road where I saw a fully grown man, sitting bare on the rocky road and begging for alms. I was naturally moved to drop a 'coin' in his bowl. However, I saw that this man's only disability was that he couldn't excrete without his disposal bag attached to his navel. And I'm like, didn't I just buy shampoo from a blind woman just about now? This woman literally welcomed me to her stall after hearing my voice, asked me to take the shampoo I wanted to buy, collected my money and felt it to be sure its real money. This was mind blowing for me and I would definitely want to patronize her more often because I know she's trying to help herself despite her condition. But seeing this man sitted on the ground, with his eyes fully open, and two hands and legs intact, gets the downside from me.