When Friendship Becomes a One-Way Street
Do people really care about me? I have asked this question to myself about long ago. I did not know the correct answer to that because you can never find out people's true intentions until we need something from them. I have not changed my perspective after only one experience. There were many incidents which gave me lessons and I'm going to share one of them today which is during my school exams.
So, in march we had first monthly exams at school. It was on a short syllabus and the problem was I do not attend school most of the time. I study better at home and another problem is that I am not good at grammars even in my own language. So, Bangla 2nd paper is something I am always scared of. It was the first day of exam and the subject was Social Work and I was really good at it. In the exam hall, the moment I saw the questions, I realized I knew all of the answers.
So, a girl was sitting beside me we knew each other as we were classmates and I considered her as a friend. Anyway, during the exam she kept asking me to show her my paper and she offered to help me with some questions as well. I told her, that I will show her but I don't need any help now because I knew all of the answers. As she did not know some of the answers, I moved my paper a little so she could see my answers. Even when my paper was done, I still stayed on my bench for her. To be honest, I was not expecting anything in return.
I thought we were friends, so I should be helping her. After that exam ended, she was very friendly towards me, she held my hand and thanked me. We had a good chat which was pretty normal. So, I thought both us were on good terms with each other. The next day, it was Bangla 2nd paper exam and I was nervous. But when I saw that friend of mine, I was feeling a bit relaxed.
I was looking at her, but it felt like she was avoiding me on purpose. I was thinking that she would help me with 2-3 questions at least. Also, I did not even ask her to show me her whole paper. But whenever I asked she replied, "I will help you after I finish my paper," But when she finished her paper, she stood up and submitted it to the teacher.
That day I was emotionally hurt, I kept thinking about how she had asked for my paper when she needed but when I needed help, she acted as if I was invisible or a stranger. So, after facing many other incidents, I got enlightenment. Most of the people they only care about themselves and what they gain from you.
But this did not stop me from helping people. I know some of these people are still in my life who only texts me when they need something from me. But when I help them I don't expect anymore. I have stopped my expectations. I really don't care if they are not genuine, because I can't force them to care for me. Also, I do not judge every friendship from one incident either. But I am definitely aware about people's actions. In a way, I will know which people are my genuine friends and which are fake.
This is my entry to a contest of indiaunited, I would love to invite you to participate!
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Thanks for reading 🌷
You nailed the daily Ecency leaderboard quest, @zoe01! Your reflection on the true nature of human intentions is deeply insightful and relatable.
Tipped with Ecency POINTS.
I have a few friends not from real life, but I know them from internet.
I could say I know them from this platform for many years.
But when we need help we help each other.
When you realize that you do something for better goods and you don't need anything in return at least you are fine with yourself.
I had in my life many fake friends and I not keep them close to me I can talk with them but not for long.
Is not always about money when you need help, sometimes is easy for them and hard to you to understand something or to check something or just need verify some things, when you are uncertain.
You are still young and I think you will have many situations like that, people like your classmate know that without your help they can't pass the test, but when they need to help you they risk that they get caught by teacher. So simple selfish.
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So true, having a solid group of online friends who are ready to give a helping hand or just verify something when you're uncertain is priceless. Quality over quantity always, especially when it comes to cutting out fake friends. Glad you've built such a good circle here!
I was able to encourage my second friend to return to hive blockchain!
I reblogged his post, so If you can at least write comment and warm welcome him I will be really grateful for this :)
Of course, I will. I'm glad someone close to you came back.
Thank you ;)
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STOPIt's good that you're still helping people and you don't expect when you help. I think that's how help should work though it could feel different especially with someone you call a friend. True friendship is rare. It's not by calling ourselves that, but showing it when the situations require.
Spot on. Real friendship shows up through actions, not just the label. Helping without expecting anything in return is rare but that’s really what sets genuine friends apart. Thanks for sharing this.
!PIZZA
You're welcome!
Sometimes just because we feel something, doesn't mean the other person share that same feeling. Sometimes you can like each other but is harder for both to like in the same way or at the same level. Then again, how you quantify feelings. Sometimes you learn to want people's company regardless of their feelings. Then you start manipulating people, or valuing their company even if the person is not that comfortable. Humans are very complicated and sometimes the motives vary wildly for doing the same thing.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences on the matter.
Really well said. Human connection is so complex and it’s way too easy for feelings to be misaligned without us realizing it. Appreciate the thoughtful reflection!
You are Ecencial!
Thanks for your generosity 🫶🏻
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Thanks for the continous support 🫶🏻
I think you handled the situation in a mature way. I liked it the most that you didn't let one sided friendships turn you into someone who stopped helping others. I'm proud of you, dear. 👏🏾
Thank you ☺️
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The important thing is to stay true to yourself. Time will tell who deserves you and who doesn't.
That's right, thanks for your time.
!PIZZA
It's always a pleasure for me.
I think a few people only take advantages from us as you have mentioned in your post what your friend did to you when you need her. I think time is the best teacher and it help us to know what is good and bad for us.
!PIZZA
!PAKX
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PAKXtokens.Yes, not everyone is the same. So, we shouldn't treat badly because of past experience.
!PIZZA
Yes agree, but you should be more couscous next time. 🙂
Okie 🫶🏻
Friend heals and they also breaks. I just love your mindset. 👌
Thank you 🫶🏻
I think you should write post for the contest!
Just check my latest reblogged post from rozioo!
I hope to see you there 😃
Alright, thank you. I'll give my best. Thank you for letting me know. 🫶🏻