SCHOOL FOR PARENTS: How to control the child: tips for parents

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Imagine going to a meeting with your friends. Your favorite music plays, and in the middle of sharing all the problems you miss. The screams of your children take you out of ...: "He hit me!", "She teases again!" "I'm bored" "I want to go" Think: "If there was a control button for the children, I could give all the money for it."

In fact, if you could completely control the children, anywhere, you would talk on the cell phone all the time and avoid many daily fights. Control is such an important part of education, but how can we effectively control our children?

Control of children: pros and cons

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Consider the main difficulties encountered by parents in relation to control over children's behavior, as well as ways to establish this control.

• First, it should be understood that both parents can control the child equally. Many of us have the feeling that a child who is excessively subject to control becomes irritable, intolerant of himself and others.

Imagine that in the first drawing class, when it is necessary to paint a landscape, the teacher gives the children only blue, green and brown pencils, because he believes that nature only has these colors. In this sense, control means severe restrictions.

On the other hand, it is self-control that makes society civilized, and since the child cannot yet be completely controlled, the parents must explain that each action has real consequences that must be foreseen. Both views on parental control are not the ultimate truth.

Most of the misunderstanding about this is because we forget two important things. First, we can control not children, but only situations.

• Secondly, in the process of monitoring children, the relationship between them and their parents is no less important than rewards and punishments.

Control and parenting styles

The problem of parental control is a problem as part of the main parenting styles:

1. An authoritarian style.

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Parents who adhere to it follow the rule "because I said so" and encourage the child to obey. They strictly supervise that the child adheres to the established rules, and punishment is considered the most effective way to achieve it. The child must first obey the parents and, only then, listen to their own feelings.

The children of authoritarian parents become "good" adults: they know how to obey, but, as a rule, they don't have enough social skills and are generally not happy.

2. Democratic style.

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Democratic parents, like authoritarian parents, express their expectations to the child, but are more susceptible to the child's feelings and reactions. Expectations and objectives are presented to the child in a positive way, and not just rules established forever that the child should fear. Democratic parents balance the negative consequences of misconduct and positive education. In some cases, they forgive the child for his crimes.

Democratic parents respect their children, so children grow up happy and successful.

3. Liberal style (permissive).

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The parents do not establish strict rules for the child and their expectations are low. Liberal parents believe that a child is naturally inclined to choose good role models, and should not interfere with this. Honestly, liberal parents are sometimes afraid to conflict with their children and want to be friends and not enemies to them.

Children often have problems with self-control.

As you can see, parental control can not only limit the child, as we used to think, but it can also be good for him.

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