Retro Film Review: Bikini Squad (1993)

in #film2 months ago


Baywatch is not only one of the most successful products of American entertainment industry, but also one of the most visible manifestations of American cultural domination in modern world. At least this was the general view in 1990s, but today there are some who might think that Baywatch might be messenger of impending doom rather than new globalisation utopia. Titillating young audiences, dumbing them down, turning women into artificial sexual objects and creating violent backlash by offending delicate religious sentiments in certain parts of the world - all those are accusations that could be directed towards Baywatch these days. But some negative consequences of Baywatch were more immediate, as we might see in Bikini Squad, 1993 comedy directed by Valerie Breiman.

Bikini Squad, as the title suggests, is supposed to be a parody of Baywatch. However, "bikini" in the title also suggests that the movie belongs to the specific category of B-films - those whose main attraction comes in the form of women in swimsuits (and occasionally removing parts of those swimsuits). Baywatch functions on the same principle (minus nudity), but, unlike this film, it has something resembling plot and characters even in its worst episodes. What goes for plot in Bikini Squad centres around Baywatch-like TV-show and female director (played by Rebecca Rocheford) hired to shoot it. On the set she finds cast without talent and crew without basic intelligence. Those who watch Bikini Squad would soon have impression of watching documentary, since the film itself looks like it was made by the people being ridiculed in front of cameras. To say that jokes don't work would be an understatement; this film is more likely to cause painful winces than laughs. The nudity - the only reason why most people would bother to watch Bikini Squad - appears in tiny quantities and is actually un-erotic. We can only hope that the Internet - as the easiest and potentially less embarrassing way to obtain more explicit displays of material suggested by Baywatch - would mean the end of films like Bikini Squad. For those who wasted 88 minutes of their lives watching this "film", wonders of 21st Century technology came too late.

RATING: 1/10 (--)

(Note: The text in its original form was posted in Usenet newsgroup on September 16th 2003)


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