Hive-Naija Weekend Engagement #6 - Money & Relationships
•Jean Vanier
Is it only me that feels January is moving so fast? Well it's another Friday.
We Thank God it's Friday! How are you? I hope you slept well?
I woke up but I'm still very much sleepy.
Yes! Last week was cool, I mean, it was interesting, we did have a chat in two different years right?. If you don't understand, feel free to back track it here Hive-Naija Engagement #5
Some Weeks ago, I thought,I shared and I asked "Why don't we catch cruise every Weekend?"
And you all said...
Well,we won't be the first as there are some weekend engagements trends already on Hive! But this would be THE NIGERIAN VERSION!
So Shall We ?
I will drop a topic every friday(Today's topic is below), share your thoughts on the matter,reply someone else opinion, interrogate the opinion if you like.keep the discussion on. If you don't have anything to say about the topic. Just write a primary school composition about yourself(We go manage am).
There are no rules, hahahaha please banter as you like,speak any language (Igbo,yoruba, pidgin,efik), anything at least someone else can understand.
This week's engagement starts Immediately you see this post and ends on Sunday 11:59pm.
Prizes for this week
Thanks to the @starstrings01 & @crossculture, they helped curate some comments again last week!
Prizes are distributed to the winners after considering their interactions and also their contributions to the topic. This week prizes ;
1st prize - 2.5 HBD + A very good upvote in a selected post of yours in the week! + 100 Ecency points
2nd Prize - 2 HBD + 100 Ecency points
3rd Prize - 1.5 HBD + 50 Ecency points
4th Prize - 1 HBD + 30 Ecency points
5th Prize - 100 Ecency
Prizes Courtesy of
@samostically (5 HBD + 180 Ecency Points)
@starstrings01 (Upvote and curation)
@stevenson7 (200 Ecency points)
@readthisplease (2 HBD)
Topic Of Discussion - Money & Relationship
Or should i have written money and dating?... well money plays a big role in our relationships today. Some kind of effect that can be so complicated.
Anyway, here are some questions I'm so itchy to get answers.
Who should pay on the first date?
Who Pays The Bills afterwards?
Should a woman earn more than her husband?
As a man, would you feel hurt, if you can't provide as much as your partner can?
Do you think a Nigerian lady would date a guy below her net worth?
Feel free to add more questions below to the discussion.
Let the discussion begin....
Oh wait!
The hive naija community is having a meeting via telegram on Sunday by 6pm. Please do well to join in 😀
Back to our discussion,
@deraaa , @B0s , @merit.ahama , @peaq , @monioluwa , @brightdavid, @stevenson7 , @obrisgold1 , @jaydr @mayorkeys , @wolfofnostreet @readthisplease @young-boss-karin, @tukem1 @k-banti, @iskafan , @chosenfingers @onwugbenuvictor , @monica-ene @heskay @etiboy56 @doziekash , @chincoculbert , @funshee @omosefe @ozohu @attentionneeded @popmanj @estherscott @vickoly @gloriaolar @pianokills @hepziba @tblings-art @anissignature @ijohnsen @manuel6 @khaleesii @kenechukwu97 @abidemiademok21 @otshotz @blezyn @megpeters @philomenob @wildthougts
You gave me permission to tag you but you can always tell me to stop anytime!
@nonsowrites, @belemo and @josediccus didn't but I need them here too🙃
Are we to give answers to all the questions??
I think so
Ok thanks bro
😂 Hi Sam, I also thought this month is running really fast.
Now to our week's question, I'm gonna answer all the questions in the most shortest way I can and I can't wait to read from others... I'm excited, this is a very crucial topic to discuss on.
Since na Nigeria we dey, I go say na the guy go pay first o 😌 but if I'm the one on a date with someone, I would like to experience that aspect of us paying together 😊
Any of the two on the date together but it shouldn't seem like the guy is leaving everything for the lady, just let her pay some and the guy pay for most of it.
If the woman is lucky to earn more than the man, there's nothing wrong with that unless the woman brings in her pride in it which would not be good for the man. Because men have an ego they try to protect and women are fond of putting their ego out to shame. I for one is working on myself to not let pride be a part of me in my relationship with my man in the future, even if I earn more than him.
For sure, it must surely hurt but there are women who wouldn't make him feel that hurt for long or make it less worse for him until he gets back on his feet to provide.
I won't answer for other ladies but I will date a guy even if he is below my net worth... The most important thing in such situation is we love each other and we have money to cater for ourselves and family.
Oya oooo
@iskafan @doziekash @chincoculbert @deraaa I want to specially hear what you guys have to say about these questions... I like aproko wella so nor even bother call me aproko 😝🤣😂
Okay I like the point you are seeing this from and also to the fact you spoke for yourself and not all
Make sense
I go like see others point of view
Yes o
I dey wait for their own o
Where is yours 🙄
Lol
🤣🤣🤣
This one is an entire post on it's own. All the answers you gave are valid sha so I'll allow it.
Thank you... Oya where are your answers 🙄
You've said everything I want to say.
😂 Make ona come o
I be nor plan to help anybody answer he question o
E sey... I'll allow it
Waiting for yours...
If I don't have what to say nko?
Read the rules lol.
You can write a primary school composition about your
Paying together ke 😆 madam how far you
Me I don't think most girls will want to be paying together. After tasting sweet thing at first
😂 Just lemme alone o
Is e your money? Is e nor my money? But it's on rare cases sha, not that I would like to pay all the time
Why are you people paying together abeg, one person should pay na.
😂 It can happen na
But sometimes he will pay alone or I pay alone... You know those situations where the guy doesn't have enough to pay at that moment 🙄 just saying though
I understand sha, never shared bills before though, it's always one person.
It's cool
We will soon go on date so you will pay sha 😆
😂 I'm waiting... We go wash plates together 😃
😆 I like to wash plate even so no wahala
Hmm. Dating someone below net worth. This is getting interesting
😂 Yeah it sure is, it's not a bad thing at all... To me sha
Ok o. But won't you voice out when it get to some stage
Omo @merit.ahama answered the question exactly how I would answer it.
But about this topic eh, I do not understand why our Nigeria ladies make it a big factor, making the innocent boy/man involved enter street and do the most just to impress the lady. Money is essential but if little things like he has to pay the bills and earn higher becomes priority then there is a problem.
What happened to growing rich together, starting from the scratch together and supporting each other to the top?
Too much pressure in this generation for money and it is crazy.
Most ladies do not even care where the money is coming from sha they want the sweetest things of life... Really sad o
That's why there are lot of cases of kidnapping and the rest because most don't care how the guy gets the money but just want to enjoy sweet things which they think it's their spec
Oh girl! You too much! Most girls won't even thinking about all this... They just want to belong by charging their partners for whatever they need.
Nothing happened to it my dear. There are people who did this and are stronger than ever. I am totally for this idea but I have come to realize that some guys not all are douchebags.
They date a girl when they have nothing, and as soon as they become soft, they believe they can afford certain kinds of girls and they indulge their fantasies because they have the money.
So it really goes both ways.
That's true too...
This is true, this happens everywhere. I can't even find an explanation for it or a solution.. could that be a good reason to follow a rich guy?
!PIZZA
Not necessarily.
I think some people would rather have a broken heart with money as opposed to a broken heart with a broke wallet.
No manual to this thing
At all..
Yes, can you blame them? Just think of a beautiful girl suffering? How unfair is it. Then, a man with comes ready to exploit that weakness. It would be really hard for them not to fall.
It's sad honestly. It's the sort of society we find ourselves these days. Where love has no meaning. It's all about money & cruise now.
No real vision of support & growing together.
It's societal conditioning and men are also enablers of this entitlement.
The thing is every human has an ego my dear. The ability to control it is where the power lies. I once dated someone who I earned more than, each time I said something that had to do with money, he flared up. Now, I wasn't even asking for him to use his money as I had mine and was always willing to come through for him but Baba was just insecure and his ego kept getting in the way.
Truth is, the guy has to be secure in himself first, if not, anything you do would be an insult because in his head you have money more than he does.
Wahala o
I haven't really been in such situation before though so I won't say much but I get your point... Controlling one's ego is what's important
It's key hun
Well, after reading this, I don conclude say you over get sense. It's the wisest answer I've seen so far. Guys have pride and women sometimes can easily hurt that pride. So it's all a thing of understanding each other and doing things that'll make y'all be happy.
Well so far, it seems like the girls are the only ones so eager to answer the questions. Me I just dey dey observe...lol aproko no go ki you ma 😂😂😂
😂 My funny @chincoculbert is finally here, so na now you know say I get sense ba 🙄😑
I like aproko, I nor say make you remind me... Drop your own soon abeg
Lol, I been dey here since but mehn I was just observing o..😂😂, I been know say you get sense, now I confirm say e dey wellah.
😂😂 Sorry no vex abeg
I'm going to..
😂 Funny, you're so funny... Observe well but don't copy and paste my own answers sha 🚶♀️🚶♀️
!PIZZA
I swear!! That's the way o. It's our culture
I agree, but I also think if the girl decides she want to take the guy outing,she can handle the bills. Not everytime for sure though.
This is the major issue sha. Alot of women tend to do that. They're mouth no get control sometimes, them fit get small argument one dey now, the next thing she done dey talk "I'm the one catering for the family, what do you do sef.
Awwnn ❤
Our culture says the guy should be in charge of payment but there's really nothing wrong with the girl handling the bills sometimes.
I've seen a lot of that scenario where the girl let's pride get into her head because she caters for the house more... 😒 So sad
I'm down with her paying sometimes but definitely not on the first date.
Yeah it is.
I understand
I think whoever asks the other out should pay on the first date.
Afterwards, anybody can pay, sometimes you go Dutch, other times it falls on one person.
It doesn't matter who earns more as long as money is earned.
Nigerian women date guys that earn less, it's just that most times the guys are usually mad and feel insecure.
Na this part burst my head😂😂
No jokes 😩
You are actually right though.
I agree with you here
You've answer well and I can totally understand what you mean by guys feeling insecure and mad when their partner is above their net worth
I say they're mad because often times you hear stories of men wanting their wives to quit their well paying job. Is that not madness?
True though
Na kuku pride dey cause make them dey ask the wife to quit her job
That's actually absurd. Quit job because of insecurity. Doesn't make any sense
Exactly my point.
That totally wrong
Complete madness joor
I hope I don't cross paths with such 😏
There are relationships that even wax strong in such situations too
Certainly. I know a guy who still thinks like this in 2022. Sad stuff.
People refuse to be progressive, it's sad to see
Truly!
Asin ehn, some Nigerian men are so insecure, I had one brother tell me I was too independent, like abeg since when is that a problem?
😂 That your brother funny o
Isn't he supposed to be happy about it?
Abeg my dear, keep being an independent lady... It drive a lot of circumstances from you
Omo they like woman that they can be in charge of, me I can't plus I too stubborn
Abeg keep it up... I stubborn too and they have tire for me 😝 I'm not stopping, I own my life 😏
😆 funny enough most guys I have met have stuck around because of my stubbornness, the ones I am nice to no get sense, why are men like that
😂 You know these things, same with me o
I wonder why they are like that too but it's better that way because I don't know how to stop being stubborn 😌
Come lemme pray the spirit out from one stubborn person to another.
I'm nor coming sha
You see your life abi
😂😂 hin na colonial master, hin no want make you gain independence la
😆 asin ehn, I should be a slave.
Ómo that one no fit work for this current generation abeg
It does oh, wella.
🤣🤣
😂😂 weak me
He means you are too independent for his BS 😂😅
If he moves mad, you can be on the next flight outta the relationship 😂
He was already moving mad oh even before so he was looking for a foot mat to move mad on top 😆
Mad people.com 😂
Independence to him means he can't control you na 😄
That's why I am happy I didn't waste my time.
Good riddance to his bad rubbish.
Yeah. Men tend to be insecure because alot of times when women perceive to be in power they tend to become proud & most annoying rude.
Not all women for sure, but due to the majority cases like that through the years, men's self defense mechanism has been triggered
Oh please, men like being in control, and when someone they feel is a weaker vessel speaks their mind or challenges their authority they automatically relate it to pride or being rude.
Of course men are meant to be in control 😂
But that's not the point though. The point is women's pattern of expressing themselves can be rude & aggressive which is totally unnecessary & can be related to pride.
The fact that she's doing well doesn't gives her the right to be impolite
Men are meant to be in control of who please?
Most times it isn't anyone being impolite, it is the fact that I'll are used to women taking rubbish.
I hear mad 😂😂😂...that one weak me o. But I agree with you, if you're the one doing the asking you should pay on the first date then other times una fit share am
I dey my own, you say let's go on a date, you have to pay o
😂😂 of course la, you no get money you dey ask person on a date
My point exactly. The guy starts projecting his insecurity on you and makes it seem like you are the problem.
Yeah I agree with that, but what if the first date arranged by the guy was cancelled because the girl couldn't make it.. then when she became free some other time, she just now wake up one morning and ask him, can we meet tomorrow?
Should the guy come with his card lol?
@merit.ahama , @peaq , @young-boss-karin what do you think?
Do women feel entitled to be catered for?
Because to be honest, I have never gone out if i don't have money. That's not to say I haven't been taken out by a lady oo. I have, However , I'm always equipped with small cash just incase..
😂 He should go with his card o if he doesn't want any embarrassment 😝🤣
Every one wants to be catered for but some would over do it and some would want to balance it up so it's vice versa... Women should be catered for and men should be catered for too 😌
Omo everybody should always go with their card. There's nothing wrong with trying to assist. Although I've noticed that sometimes men have ego crises in that sort of situation
He should come with his card o because this is still the first date which he earlier initiated.
Everybody should come with their card.
Ofcourse
Women of course feel very entitled, it is not a new thing.
I have had several issues with girls about it.
Everyone can feel entitled. Women feel more entitled because society makes it so and men enforce it for their benefit.
This is very true though, men feel entitled to other things.
Everyone can feel entitled. Women feel more entitled because society makes it so and men enforce it for their benefit.
Understanding is really key here. Whatever works for both parties, I guess. For me, who pays or doesn't pay is not such a big deal. The question for me is, are you worth my time? If I accept your invite then I think you are and if I find out after the date that you are not, I cut my losses and move on. So payment shouldn't be an issue.
Some do, some don't. I was raised to always go out on dates with my own cash. I place orders I know I can pay for especially if things go south or the unexpected happens.
Yes! & that's very ok.
Women are meant to be catered for.
Personally, I don't go out without money too. Whether I'm going with a guy or my girls. I don't trust anyone. In the scenario you mentioned, I think it makes more sense for the girl to ask when next the guy will be free rather than impose her own date. I mean it's simple courtesy. Cancelling is not wrong as long as you can agree on another arrangement that works for both of you.
I don't feel entitled to be catered for. Everyone, male and female can feel entitled at some point so it doesn't really have much to do with gender but much more to do with the kind of person.
You don't go out with money??? Nawa ooo
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The attitude insecurities come as a result of the attitude the women display na
It's all in their head please, women are angels 😇
Mad insecure and most times wish that the women should surrender their credit cards and finances under them.
She would do the work and they decide how she spends it
I might get into trouble for my answer but let's go
Who should pay on the first date? I think whoever initiates the date and this is convenient for me because I never initiate dates 😆
Who Pays The Bills afterward? Everyone pays their bills as long as it is a relationship, not marriage, I wouldn't mind gifts and random aid but it isn't anyone's responsibility to cater for me at my big age, no one should feel entitled but when marriage comes to play it depends on each couple.
Should a woman earn more than her husband? Nope, if they want to pay her more, she should reject it and tell them to reduce it because she will be earning more than her husband, see how stupid that sounds.
I think it would be silly and a big red flag if there is a problem with who earns more in your relationship.
As a man, would you feel hurt, if you can't provide as much as your partner can?
Even as a woman I feel hurt when I can't spoil my man so I think it is pretty normal to feel hurt if you can't provide for someone you love.
Do you think a Nigerian lady would date a guy below her net worth?
With all the broke guys I have been dating (not a shade) I think this isn't a question for me 😆
Never dated anyone above my net worth so if there is anyone who is interested and above my net worth please apply and let me experience something different.
Eiiiiiiii
@khaleesii it the last answer for me.
Hahahahaha okay I think I like where this Is going😂😂
😆 do you want to apply?
I should build that net worth well and then apply 😊
Okay, good then
I'll be waiting, not for long sha 😆
Abi I should apply ni
How much is your net worth ni 😆 apply with it.
$2,567,542. Are you in?
😆 uhm I still need other attributes oh, money no be everything
Am a prophet. 😅. So I can see the future
No worry, I no do.
I will use charm o. You will do by force by fire
Won't even work so no waste your time.
😂😂😂 na so. Fire 🔥
😂😂😂 You had me in the first half not gonna lie. How do people even have issues with who earns more.
Oshee, Boss Lady.
People just find stupid reasons to argue because how can net worth be an issue?
Me like this if you are earning pass me, that's not suppose to be an issue if only we will support each other
Azin, as long as we are supporting each other I have no problem.
That's what most people doesn't understand now o.
🤣 This girl ehn... We dey together sha 😜
Your answer to the second question got me laughing really hard... What a silly stupidity 🤣 I will nor try it self
You're looking for something different abi, please write a post about it when it happens 😌
What's up na, how's the January going for you? ☺️
Lemme go and ask Nigerian man on a date and they will yeye my life, I no do abeg, I no like disgrace 😆
When it happens I will definitely write on it, but first, tell your rich friends on hive.
Omo my January be as e dey oh, a little bit of gallops but we go dey alright, how is yours?
They cannot yeye your life na 😅😅. I dey your back
Abeg oh, your gender scares me
I gat you already. No need to panic. Anybody that yeye you we will beat him up
😆 you people are violent oh, aht aht.
No na. Na fact be that
Them nor fit... Just let me and @iskafan know if any man try yeye your life... We go fight as squad 😝
My January dey go well, so many stories to tell about my new year already 😒
😆 you people want to beat someone's son that I asked out, see wahala oh.
Also the same with my January oh, I can't wait for February.
😂 Let's wait for February together abeg... January have tire me 🤣
Asin ehn, just now now oh.
You have not gotten to half of the month na 😂😂
😂 Just lemme alone o
Abi na😅
Can you fight😅😅😅. I will not talk o😅😅
Hahaha
This one weak me o, how does that work abeg 😂😂.
Ómo no one would crucify you for your answer jare it's pretty much sensible.
Make I build house fes, after that if you're not taken I'll buy your company instead of applying...😂😂😂😂 Sounds ambiguous hehe
😆 I don't even understand why who is earning would be an issue but on well.
Ayyoo, see plans, no wahala, make your boss moves.
Truthfully, it shouldn't be an issue, but most times it always is.
.
Ómo on God o..
It's a man thing 🏃
Eiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Omo×1000000
Another angle 😅make she no reject m o
No truer words. So apt!
Oya ohhhh, let me start ringing all my big boy friends... You need to bam bam, relax and be taken care of ooooo?😊
Eyoooo, call them oh, I trust you, babes, let me try the other side.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
It's the soft life.
I'm on it boss 😂
I trust you.
😉
Guys please apply, we're watching your hive wallets
😆 thank God it is out for the world to see.
Never dated anyone above my net worth so if there is anyone who is interested and above my net worth please apply and let me experience something different.
Dead! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's facts abeg
Okay most first date is always the guys idea so practically the the bills should be on the guy , my point of view
Here it okay of any of the party to pay the bills o.you can't just be going out everytime and expect the bill should be on the guy alone have some dignity 🙃
So both parties can pay.
YES, even not providing all my needs for myself I'm hurt and now for both obviously YES
Well some can actually do that but 90% won't.
With the way the world is evolving 90% won't.
I won't even answer you about the earning question, this is why women never tell men how much they earn.
Eiiiii lol
Go ahead and answer I'm with you
My point is the lady can earn than the man it just not right for a guy to allow it
So here is it every man should try as much as possible to earn than a lady.
My point of view
Why does earning have to be gender-specific, who made these rules.
I feel is the" not right "I put that is causing the confusion.
A woman can always earn than a guy
I just feel a man should try and always able to provide all that is needed.
A better way to put it because like it or not in this days and age, a lot of women are earning pretty well and it would be silly for that to be an issue.
True though I agree with you here
But there are situations where the woman is a high-earner and no matter what the man does, he will never meet up the heights of the woman. Ofcourse this instance is vice versa.
So what will the man do then?
It all about understanding here
Abi na SEBI na the guy initiate the date stuff so payment straight
Yes ooo
No Time
That percentage high gan o
From the answer you gave in the third question, it's kind of obvious that you wouldn't like to date a woman whose net worth is above yours
Lol baba say it's not right... Why is it not right??
No be small 😂😂 who no like better thing abeg
Why do you think it's not right for the woman to earn more?
Ask him oh
For me I think ladies now won't want to go with guy below their networth even before seeing the guy, you will hear the girl saying the guy is not her spec just because of his net worth which is low. I hope that idea goes down
That my point
Though some of them can
Few can
Not every lady thinks like that.
There are babes making legit cool cash, doing well on their own, and are looking for guys that their head is correct at the least.
Spec could mean a purely physical, mental, spiritual, social, or even financial trait. It's not always financial.
Hmm well said. Guys that their head is very correct🤔🤔
abi oh 😆
Not being someone's spec isn't based on net worth though
Yeah. Everything
Hi Everyone,
I always miss out on participating, so here goes.
I personally don't mind going dutch especially if I agreed to the date invitation.
It's not a set-in-stone situation. Either of us can pay especially when there is a mutual understanding between my date and I.
Lol 😂😂... Earning money should not be gender-based. It honestly doesn't matter who earns more. The more the merrier for the family. The husband even gets to live longer as the one-sided family pressure and burden would reduce significantly and become a shared responsibility.
Skip... I'm a lady...
I speak for myself.
Yes, I can and I have.
If there is mutual understanding, respect for each other, no insecurities on the guys part, and if he genuinely has realistic goals for his life and clearly works towards them.
Thank you😊
Bam 🔥
😊
Oh my sweet Peaq... You talk am well o
And I totally agree with all of you answers.
I wanna ask, are you still with the guy you have a higher net worth than and is there much difference to dating someone who has a higher net worth than you?
No, my dear, we broke up for other reasons.
There is a difference on the guy's part especially if he is a giver. He takes the initiative to do more for you because he can afford to whereas the former might want to help or do some stuff but just can't.
On my part, once I love and care about you, whether you are my girl or my boyfriend, I will spoil you regardless of your net worth.
You're right about the difference you gave, thanks
Please I want to be your girl 🥺
Jokerrr....
😂😅😂
I'll be singing for you..
😂 Please na
I want you to spoil me abeg 🥺
But the singing own is priceless sha 😊
lol...
I'll spoil you soon by God's grace.
Am also Available for spoiling. Am ever ready to get spoilt
😀
Sha don't forget me o😅
Yes boss ☺️
Or you can even show me the way
The way to where?
To be a bigger person
I know y'all probably broke up for different reasons but there could still be some link you probably didn't notice.
I'm honestly of the opinion such relationships are quite hard to sustain especially in this part of the world.
The lady has to be mature but it's not just her, the guy has to not be insecure
I totally agree. However, no matter how mature the woman is, if the guy doesn’t tackle his insecurities it would still affect the relationship.
Remember, it takes two to tango @wildthougts
Exactly, earning isn't gender based.
If I can do the work, why can't I earn the buck?
Exactly what I told @ijohnsen why does money have to be gender-based? You will now see a lot of ladies lying about how much they earn because of issues like this.
Eiii @khaleesii pardon my misuse of word 😂😂😂 I agree with you
Money shouldn't be gender based
😆
It's a crazy something ohhhh.
This is a deal-breaker for me in a relationship.
If my money or success threatens you, then I'm not interested.
Because you are a demon if my success threatens you, and I don't date demons
Yeeeeepa
Straight up @khaleesii 🤣🤣🤣
Hit point. If you don't get it, forget about it
As in ehnnnnn 😂 @mayorkeys
😂😂😂😂
Abeg @samostically I wan suggest some people give you make you add then to your list for the engagement tags every Friday
@hopestylist @khingstan and @investor.abraham they are a few of the Nigerians I introduced to Hive recently
I need their permission too. Hahahaha.
Thanks for the suggestions
Oh really? I told two of them about it already before coming here but I'll just let the other know immediately
You have mine 🙈
Yeah, thanks @merit.ahama for the tag, I just even answered the questions.
I will appreciate the tag from you @samostically 🙂
Thanks @merit.ahama it will be awesome
I'll post mine Soon
You also have my permission Sir @samostically
For me, the one that asked the other out should pay the bills.
The one that wants to go out should pay for the bills, except the other person wants to be of help.
No, but it is not wrong if something like that happens, just that the woman should always remember to be submissive to her husband and also help her husband get better than herself in anyway she can.
That will even prove to her husband that she wants the best for him.
He will, but he should not let that thought hunt him, instead he should look for a way to make hands meet.
Well, this is somehow tricky but, I go say yes for myself because I nor dey focus on today na tomorrow matter, if I know he has a goal that he is determined to accomplish, even if he's net Worth is below mine, I can date him.
Help her husband get better 😆 prove to her husband that she wants the best for him?
I understand supporting your husband and partner but this is a bit funny to me.
@merit.ahama, @peaq what do you think
I think I understand what @hopestylist is trying to highlight in terms of hooking up her husband with better offers that can also increase his income, which makes sense.
For me, I don't think it's about any partner being better than the other because they are a team. Both parties need to work together to support each other in growing financially regardless of who is man or woman in the relationship because her win is his win and vice versa. This right here is enough proof @khaleesii!
I understand what she meant mehn but I hate the belief that women have to do so much to make their husband succeed or be better; we have to pray, push opportunities, etc and it is never the other way around most times.
Marriage is a partnership, not a place to prove to someone that I want the best for them, I will want the best but proving is crazy.
Also, I believe that getting better should be personal, I shouldn't have to make you get better, my mother did that and it didn't work out.
One person can't do it alone. When there is joint effort that will catalyse the growth of the family 😉
Exactly, marriage is a union but most things emotionally, spiritually and sacrifices are placed on the woman.
Hmmm. Emotional🤔. It's not always one sided sha
Mostly is in majority of the relationships.
Well well. We can say that
Sad reality
I never desired marriage because of the way some older married ladies were advising me about it. It sounded like long-suffering and I no like stress like that.
It takes some unlearning to see that a woman's role in a supposed partnership is not always to prove herself.
Exactly, I don't want to suffer and reduce myself just because I am married, marriages scare me so much.
@wolfofnostreet So true...
Tales of people's marriages sometimes sound like horror...
The fact that we decided to even get married to each other is enough proof that we are both deserving of one another..
I know right!
I totally understand you my girl.
It's rather unfortunate that a lot is required from the woman on the family front..
You are responsible for yourself, your hubby and your kids successes and failures at least in the eyes of the society @khaleesii
And it shouldn't be so, too much pressure on the woman.
My dear
Anyone that pressure me, I’ll pressure you back ohhhhh…
I don’t like what I hate 🤣🤣 @khaleesii
😆 not when you are married oh, you have been locked with the key thrown away
Let the people of God say...
God forbid 😂😅
😆
Everyone is saying this. Okay oo
Fellow men of Culture! Are we here?
We are here o
If I broke and she said she wanna go out. She go pay for us niyen
Yes ooo
😉😉
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Wow! It's truly weekend already. The months moving fast.
It's a really interesting topic we got this weekend
For the questions, these are my answers. They're just my honest opinion open to
There're alot of arguments saying the one who initiates the idea should be the one to pay. But I'm of a totally different opinion.
As a man of culture I believe it's the man's responsibility to handle the bills on the very first date. At least, I can't see myself on a first date & letting the lady pay.
If she's seriously insisting to do it then I can settle for splitting. Nothing less.
After the first date, I think anyone can pay the bills. It'll mostly depend on who's in a better financial position at the time.
I believe a woman has every right to earn more than her husband. Although women can be very interesting when they perceive themselves to be in a position of power. But still, if they work hard & they're earning more then that's fine.
Hurt is an understatement. To be in that situation is completely unimaginable for me. I'll feel worthless. As a man, I believe I'm the head, meaning I should be able to cater for my family. My partner helping out would be very lovely but she providing more for the family is a no no for me. I'll do as much within my strength to leave that position.
I think they can. I think the issue is with the men. Because Nigeria men, we're quite egoistic & we tend to feel threatened when the ladies are more financially buoyant. That's for good reasons though
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Later you people will say women don't spoil you. Woman wants to pay for first date now, you no gree 😄
I no gree boss 😂😂
After first date sha can, I no mind again. But I got the first time
😋😂
Man of culture yo, come and take me out on a date ni
Hahaha!
Yes na
"Although women can be very interesting" or intimidating 😂😂.
This sense of pride that comes with having too much money and power.
Men are used to been responsible with their money and this culture is taught to every young guy.
Meanwhile a lady is meant to spend her money on luxury and a form of lifestyle, becoming responsible with such finances becomes a burden, that's why pride sets in 🤗.
You see about that earning I feel most men just feel threatened if the lady is earning more than them
But the truth about it is that it all about understanding and whoever is earning than the other among both parties wont matter
The guy.
Whoever wants to. The guy most often, the girl because she's being a sweet one.
There should be no rule as to what who should earn.
If a thoughtful woman earns more, it shouldn't really matter as she'll bring in great input into the home.
I'm not a man, I can't tell but if I'm one, I'd feel bad, especially if I'm doing nothing to get better.
I'd have said no but, life is not black and white. When love choke, you won't even know when you'll spend all your money on him, believe in him and push him out of poverty. Now, this is where the problem is; he becomes rich and leaves or he might be sensible to stay.
Broke guys sometimes come with sweet mouth and A' game in za oza room.. the Babe's sense is flushed down the drain🤣
Honestly, there's no rule, really. Who loves you and how the love is reciprocated, people's experiences, the hurts and sweet moments modify how they will react in the face of money and relationship.
A babe may just want someone for their cash and some other because they sincerely love them. These things ehn.. e no too gel. Las las, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and it is always served🤣
Table leg will break here this weekend. Let me go and buy 50 box popcorn first.
Mostly the guy should pay the bills on the first but it doesn't really matter whoever pays the bills but if it's the guys idea then the bill should be on him.
Both parties , possibly split the bill. But whoever is bouyant enough should handle the bill , whether the man or the woman. It doesn't have to do with a gender thing. It has to do with who is capable at the moment.
Totally , there is no rule against that. Although most women use this as an opportunity to maltreat there husband's, making them do the house chores with the mindset that ( they handle the bills since they are more than the guy. Infact they are the boss ). I have seen many cases where this played out, the woman earning morethan the man and the woman turning the guy into his purse( actually when i mean purse ,i mean turning the guy into her personal driver, cook and house boy. He takes her to work, wait for her at the company's parking lot then after work he takes her home. We talk about men being egoistic when they are rich but trust me , most woman can do worst.
It hurts like hell when i can't provide for my partner , especially the basic needs. It hurts more when my partner asks me for something that i know means alot to her and i am unable to provide that. It hurts morethan anything else , i pray no man should ever have these experience anymore.
Yes and No
Everybody is not the same and women differs. Some woman will standby you knowing fully well you can't take care of them but because they love you and support your dreams and ambition. They would never give up on you.
While other women might not, since they are too expensive to take care of. There hairs , nails and other bills must be tended to , so some of them won't date a guy who below there networth
Exactly! Like, why even putting much thought to it. If you can cover it then do so. I feel this is an argument for stingy people.
These takes are interesting
@samostically please another time ask about if a lady should ask a guy out.
Oh.... we would do another one
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