I hear things like this...
People annoy me.
People get on my nerves, always have.
People make me uncomfortable.
People want too much, they’re never satisfied.
People drain my energy.
People I’ve let close to me have hurt me beyond repair.
People argue and fight too much.
People are so much work and not worth it.
People don’t listen to me.
People treat me like crap and can’t be trusted.
People take advantage of me and then leave.
The list goes on and on but I’m sure you get the idea by now. I’m not interested in judging anyone for anything. I have too much junk in my own trunk to manage. In fact, I used to be someone who hated people. So I’m taking ownership of it. I was like that. Some statements on that list and more, I’ve expressed to others when they have asked me why I hated people. I realized that I hated myself, or parts thereof. I didn’t want to look at that. Easier to armor up.
What a round circle life is.
DROPLET IV
Now I have to reach back to recall when it changed and why. It’s been so long since I felt that hate that I can’t even recall what the experience is like now. I used to have so much armoring, I made reaching Rapunzel with cut off hair be a drop in the bucket by comparison. I’ve dropped most of the armor; although I still seem to feel the need to raise a shield here or there.
Dropping all that armor took time, a lot of hard work, patience, and perseverance. Think of trial by fire. Years of fire. What I learned as I worked through it, was how much I stone walled myself up against people, against life, against living, against having a vivid, full living colour experience of life. All done by my own hand. Self-torture. No one can hurt me more than I can hurt myself. That is true to this day.
DROPLET V
I stopped hating people. In fact, I grew to love them with abandon and without exception. This is true regardless of my experience of any particular person, even those I cannot be around for my own well-being and sometimes sanity. I love them for them, for showing me things I need to see, for teaching me in so many ways, for adding joy to my life, for adding pain to my life, all of it, no exceptions.
Approaching people and life from a place of love is a lesson I learned through a tremendous amount of suffering and pain. I’m grateful for every bit of it. I needed it to motivate me to grow to where I am now. It’s broken my walls down and let the light lift me up above all the wreckage.
Why waste time walled up against life and love?
Why put yourself in a cage of your own making?
What is there to fear by smashing those walls down?
This post is dedicated to all the armored people who have walked with me, passed on their way, and continue to do so. I know your suffering intimately. It won’t change until you decide it will.
DROPLET VI
All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera and 90mm Tamron macro lens.
I need help. Wait! Well that, too, but I mean Droplet III. My connection is shotty at best right now but I have no image for III.
I'm going to finish reading now
I fixed it. I fixed it. This is what happens when you stay on Hive too long. 🤣🤣🤣
=} I only have a pretty good idea exactly what each droplet is and I like it. Good idea. It's just us here, right?
My entire life, only DNA sharing humans hurt me. Took me a long time to figure that out. It's been 8 years since they had open range opportunity.
Good morning!
It's just us here, rightyo yo yo yo! Thank you @dandays.
DNA sharing humans go to the top of the list, but they aren't the only ones for me. Never let anyone have open range opportunity.
Good evening!
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STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
“If each and every one of us is a victim, then who's the villain?”
Don't mind me, just a thought came through my mind whilst reading, in fact, I always ask myself that question every now and then, however... Excellent, quite the post :) — !discovery 30
Bookmarked. One of the few posts I bookmarked here, I like to reread these posts every once in a while for a 'refresh'. I think you know what I mean.
We are a victim of ourselves. We victimize ourselves. We are, each, our own worst enemy. The enemy is always inside, never outside.
Thank you @stayten, glad my post resonated with you!
Indeedio... “The enemy is always inside”:
Exactly, I just self-punched my inner enemy 2 minutes ago, he's resting now, thankfully.
LOL, self-punched? Quite an image. My internal enemy knows the rules, no punching required, it knows, you be bad, you go in the cage until I decide to let you out of it. It doesn't like that, so it's generally well-behaved.....OR ELSE
You'd be surprised. Self-punching with words... Seems like mine is wilder then. Bad boy, he learned from me I think, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.
Ohhh, with words, I was thinking of fist to the face kind of thing. You do have a wild one.
😂 100 percent!
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Thank you!
Very interesting composition @nineclaws , very interesting indeed.
Post upvoted.
Thank you @jerrytsuseer! Was there anything that stood out for you?
You asked, so... I felt the overall post was too long. I struggle with that myself, it's like trying to fit your vision into a series of sound bytes.
with the receding O's. that caught my eye. although, the underlying sentiment and question "why do we hate"
#'s 3 an after to me didn't connect. # 1 seemed to be a "Flow of consciousness" sort of item
I'd like to know how you got this:
other peopleis a haunting one that I suspect we all struggle with.To me #IV
Droppingarmouris a non sequitur, because we cannot go through life in this modern "western world life" with all its consumerism, the expectations on females that they wear nails, high heels and all that god awful eye makeup without our armour.But like I said, I found it good, and interesting.
I hope my plain words were not offensive, I meant nothing to be so.
I was very curious, one reason I even came to look, was because you unfollowed me.
Not that it matters, I obviously still follow you or we would not be conversing this way. I would not have seen this post.
Be well my friend. Good night
Thank you for taking the time to leave me a quality comment. I appreciate it when someone gives me feedback. I don't take offense about much. I'm interested in how others see the world because I learn so much that way.
Interesting that you find this one long, it's shorter than my usual posts. It is difficult to condense at times into sound bites. I've considered what you've said and it's highlighted something for me that I will be altering in the next posts, since this is a series. None will be the same of course, but I see something clearly because of your comment that I will alter. Valuable to me, thank you.
For the "Nooooo" it's all markdown. I used "< sub >" and "< /sub >" (take out the spaces). It takes a bit of time depending on what you want to create, so it can be a bit fiddly. I'm experimenting with fonts and these sort of things to learn more.
From where I am now on my path, I find it strange that one would hate another human. If one hates other humans, does not one also hate oneself, or parts of oneself, since one is also human?
Create life according to your inner guide. The rest will fall by the wayside. No need for armor when there's nothing to fear.
From time to time, I go through who I follow and who follows me and alter the list of who I follow based on several things. In regard to yourself, I unfollowed because I'd left a comment one or two times on your posts and didn't hear a response back from you. I felt there was decrease in interest because of this, so I unfollowed.
"Nooooo" it's all markdown. I used "< sub >" and "< /sub >"I know about markdown, use it extensively, but I see three different size "O's" in that NOOOooo, so perhaps I'll need to work on that.
If one hates other humans, does not one also hate oneself, or parts of oneself, since one is also human?I read something once which resonated deeply with me.
RE: no reply, I always try to follow up on the red number notifications, especially when they are comments or replies to comments.
I even went to the point of stating in one of the Discord servers that it dismayed me, all the upvotes WITHOUT COMMENTING that I go through all the time.
@Thekittygirl said she almost never commented, didn't know that it was "a THING".
When I started in this "Pay for Posting" scheme, it was in Tsū, which was a non blockchain precursor to Steemit.
There, it was considered rude and almost spam to vote without saying something, especially spammy was to make comments such as "like, lk, good " and other one word ilk.
So IF I upvote, and especially if I reblog, you can bet I will make a comment.
I meant nothing disparaging @thekittygirl, I just thought I remembered this being the gist of our mini convo so many months ago in the Terminal.
I believe what I was referring to was that I had the impression that a comment should accompany an upvote being somewhat "de rigueur".
Thanks @thekittygirl for stopping by only to reply to @jerrytsuseer and continue feeding drama. Kindly take it to the appropriate forum for dialogue and be respectful of my post. This fuels negativity and fighting. Is not the point of this community one of "positive vibes"? Seeing this exchange today has discouraged me from posting in this community again. I made a real effort here to contribute something meaningful to this community and wasn't planning on it being a one shot deal.
You are correct, I never should have replied. I am truly sorry for the intrusion, sincerely.
Thank you, I accept your apology. I am doing my best to contribute a positive influence on Hive and with people generally. Every time I see drama, people fighting, pettiness, and just plain crap, it turns me right off of the person, community, server and if the person(s) doesn't take ownership of their behaviour and discuss in a respectful and adult manner I exit the stage.
Thank you for taking time to respond and owning your behaviour. I appreciate that and I'm okay with you muting me. Sad to see you respond from that kind of place though.
re: markdown
I am aware you are familiar with it. You asked. I answered. You'll need to play with it to create what you want, as I indicated.
Yes, we are all mirrors to each other. I am quite familiar with this. This applies to all disturbances/triggers each person experiences in life. I hope you understood my question. Not sure how a quote answers what I asked, but some people like to answer by quoting others, so I hear you.
re: no reply
I don't spend time commenting on other's posts if they aren't interesting in responding or engaging. Also, laying expectations on others is only going to bring you misery.
re: your comment concerning @thekittygirl is inappropriate. If you have personal matters, take them to the appropriate forum. My post is not an appropriate forum for "I'm not happy with this and this and that" kind of place. It negates the whole point of my post and brings in mud slinging drama that I have zero interest in partaking in. It also negates the community itself which is supposed to be "positive vibes". What happened to those, or are you just that unsatisfied with things not conforming to how they should be and have to make an issue out of it? This is not the appropriate place to do that.
I suggest you refer to your quote that I am highlighting again below. The same can be said of anything you don't like in the world, not just people. There is wisdom in this:
Oh my friend, I feel you have read far too much into this exchange.
I apologize most heartedly for bring any conflict to your post. I shall depart from here now.
Be well @nineclaws
What is it you feel I've read that is too much into? Making assumptions about what I've read into in an exchange without clarifying what you speak of doesn't communicate anything clearly.
I accept your apology. I appreciate it that you will be respectful going forwards to not only myself but to all others. We all share the same space on Hive and in the world, the same planet and it is far better to be kind and have an adult interaction.
All the best, I do hope you find some peace in your days @jerrytsuseer.
Thank you!
Yay! 🤗
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ahem ahem, I have a lot of catching up to do with you Nine 😏
Sounds like a defense mechanism people adopt to feel right in their own world aka brain. There is wisdom in knowing where we go wrong vs where people went wrong. Both sides need to be evaluated just as much. I am wondering what do you think about this perspective?
I love the droplet images. On what fine rainy day, did you take these shots?
You do, eh? Can't wait to hear. 😉
Armoring is a defense mechanism, exactly as how you've described. From my own perspective, I'm primarily focused on where I've gone wrong. Where others have gone wrong, I see that as a catalyst to look at myself, if I have a "reaction" to it, not outwardly, I contain that, but I know immediately when something creates a ripple for me. So, that is what I watch and listen for in myself when relating to others.
Now, if others go wrong, that's not my responsibility, so I remove myself from that in a sense. There are exceptions to that though, such as a person causing harm to person or property, either towards myself or someone else that needs support from me, if I'm able to do that for another and they want it or the situation warrants it. Not an easy line to walk, so it's all decided in the moment of whatever occurs. I can't plan ahead is what I'm saying.
So both sides need to be considered. That said, I only have control over myself, my thoughts, my emotions, and my choices. I have no control over others or what they choose to do. I keep my focus trained more on my way of walking in this world for that reason.
I'm so happy you like the droplet images. Those are from the very first time I photographed droplets, although I've been working with the droplet theme for a long time. They were not shot on a rainy day. They were shot from inside a very old store that now no longer exists. It was in the fall and winter, so lot of moisture inside on the windows. There were at least eight different light sources to deal with in shooting them. I was very lucky to be given permission to shoot inside that store for months, so I have many photos from that time.
Thank you for checking out my post and your wonderful comment and question.
This is the way to go. Ultimately we can only reflect back on our actions and attitudes and change whatever is needed or keep things the same. This is one of those things which we should never give someone else the authority for.
Wow I wouldn't have guessed this! Those are very pretty shots. The variety of colors mhhhm its all beautiful. Did you edit it a lot?
Never give another authority over you. All real power is internally based. Any outside power can be stripped away in the blink of an eye.
For these, no cropping, barely any editing was needed, just a slight refinement. I always shoot at least a few hundred photos in a session, which means much less editing, while at the same time further training my eye. I prefer to do it that way.
Couldn't agree more! Anything else from the outside can be taken away instantly. It is unreliable.
I am glad this method works for you! Saves a lot of time spent towards editing!
It does, editing is a very boring activity, like doing laundry, lol
This made me think of a sight I've never had in person. The poet goes to the stage in an Open Mic night and starts their raving. All goes and the audience is perplexed by the words coming out of their mouth. Some get deeply connected to the subject matter, but as it's the case with art, some are oblivious to the beauty in the words. The intricate weaving of what could just be mad ramblings tends to get difficult to explain. Especially, when poetry is permeated with all sorts of human experiences; case in point non-pleasant ones. But it's a kindness seeing how these barriers come down. It looks like they were tore down by a hammer. And a sigh of relieve comes after the last pieces crumble.
In the aftermath, there's a hand tended gently. And surprisingly, it's the hand of the self getting rediscovered.
Wow, that's quite an interpretation. I had to read it a few times and sit with it to digest properly.
Wow again because you've nailed it down.
I love those lines. Right to the heart of it. Thank you @bertrayo, I really appreciate it.
I had to read these lines very slowly, which wasn't easy as it isn't exactly paced for slow movement. There's a lot to digest from the poem. I think there's a lot of loose ends I haven't tied in what I said, but I didn't want to make a post on the comment section.
You're welcome, @nineclaws, it was a wonderful experience reading you.
Why not? I seem to write book comments at times 🤣🤣🤣
You're right, it's not paced for slow movement 🤣🤣🤣. I've buried subtle things in there, lots of them. If you knew me better, you'd probably pick up a lot more. I have this habit of blending things so it's difficult to ascertain aspects I want to remain hidden to all but those with the sight to see (not necessarily needing to know me better either). Does that make sense? For this particular bit of prose (really have no idea what to label it), it's actually deeply personal in a way that the reader would not expect. It was inspired by one person; I took that, related the same thing in my life, then spun it out into something more generalized, yet with specific symbols included. All of it birthed with a lot of intensity, which is reflected in the pace, LOL.
Awww, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time, giving me your feedback and discussing. I'll be running more stuff by you for feedback and discussion, if you don't mind. 😘😘😘
I tend to keep the length of my comments to a certain degree. I don't know. It's just a habit!
The personal depth is there to be seen by a mile away. About picking up things, I would do it if I were to read it as if I was studying a text, but I already did a lot of that during college and I'm still on literary commentary break until further notice. An important thing to keep in mind is that a writer cannot break away from getting themselves involved in a personal level with the stuff they write. The self is always there. Always wearing a different mask. That's the beauty of the art. Vulnerability. Also, I think the whole poem (I would certainly call it that), could be edited to strike with even more force or be more subtle. That's a preference thing.
I don't mind. It might even get me writing this kind of stuff as well. Only, not with that punchy intensity. 😅😘
I need to develop that habit.
That's serious. You're right, there is no getting away from the self.
What a beautiful statement that expresses the nature of art.
You have your own style, as noted above. 😁😘
This looks like some quotes taken for an academic paper! It makes me recall those days at college.
It's good all this gives you more feedback so you continue to explore your writing path
🤣🤣🤣
Yes it all helps.
Ha, ha, ha. Cool! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And I need all the help I can get 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ha, ha, ha. I don't think so. 😜
You mean I should dismiss my literary coach, aka, you?
Ha, ha, ha. Do you want to dismiss me? I mean it's entirely up to you! 🤣
No, I do not. Absolutely not. 🤣
Ha, ha, ha. Sounds cool, then. Hit me up for proofreading! 😝
Done and done! Thank you, I do appreciate it. 😘😘😘
Great! 😊
C E L E B R A T E 💃
🤣🤣🤣 Have you ever watched that show?
Not really, it was the funniest option among gifs! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Does not really mean yes or no, or something I'm not really getting?
It means I haven't watched the show.
🤣 Thank you for clarifying. You haven't missed anything.
Ha, ha, ha. I'm glad to know. 🤣
🤣
🤣
Thank you!
We hear all sorts of things and why not we have ears so we hear them. We see a lot going on in front of us, we have eyes so we see them. But does it really matter? We have our own way of thinking, calculation, and ability to reach a conclusion. I listen to what I like but ignore what I don't. Cheers mate!
I think it's more a question of whether we truly see and truly listen. Do we see only the outside while ignoring what is going on inside?
What matters depends on the context.
Each of has our own way of orienting and our own perceptions. That's what makes for great learning opportunities if we own to seeing beyond our own perspective.
Cheers back at you, thanks for checking out my post and sharing your thoughts, always appreciated!
gorgeous
Thanks @aagabriel! 😊