Sonnet to Fears | Hive Creative Contest

This is my entry to @zord189's Hive Creative Contest. Check here for details and participate!

Source

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I took prompt number 3:

Make a list of five things you're afraid of happening to you. Then write a story in which one of them happens to you.

I decided to tell the story through a poem, a Shakespearean sonnet, to make it more interesting.

A Shakespearean sonnet is a 14-line composition written in iambic pentameter and using the ABAB-CDCD-EFEF-GG rhyme pattern.

Iambic pentameter is a metric line that describes the rhythm or meter used; rhythm is measured in "feet". "Iambic" refers to the type of foot used, which in this case requires an unstressed (short) syllable followed by a stressed (long) syllable (as in de-sires). "Pentameter" means a line of five "feet". So, each line should have five feet, each of which should contain an iamb (unstressed + stressed syllable). Grossly oversimplifying, this means to write 14 verses of 10 sylables each.

Example: From fairest creatures we desire* increase* (William Shakespeare, Sonnet 1)

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That’s pretty hard to accomplish and may explain the extinction of the Shakespearean species, or it may also explain why writers stopped using strict rhyme patterns. Mine is just a humble attempt to play with the form while telling a story of fears and quirks. If you want to read good sonneteers on #Hive you have to check some old posts by @marlyncabrera or @d-pend. No attempt was made here to beautify the language, which a critical eye may see as a fault or disrespect to the genre. To them I appologize.

Without further ado, my

Sonnet to Fears

When I was nine and still impressionable
a brother tricked me into watching Jaws.
I stayed away from that sea unknowable.
No fun in drowning fighting vocal claws.

--
But living under crime unhindered power
made me more fearful and circumspect
for being robbed or shot can surely lower
desires or pleasures out of life respect.
--
Yet even in my wildest machinations
a thug does not appeal my greatest fear,
For those who swore to give us protection
corrupted make you bleed, your pockets clear.

So walked I carelessly in the street,
oblivious when the driver ghostly hit.

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Thanks for stopping by.

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12 comments
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Totally unexpected and yet perfectly accepted. Great work. You did very well with the language, no apologies necessary!

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Very good! Well done, paisano!

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Thanks, paisana.
Good to have you here. Hope family is doing good.

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Complicado el asunto,
Un día de estos cantaremos un galerón yámbico.
Yo he escrito algún soneto y coplas,
Pero tú sabes que la décima es la que se me viene de manera natural.
Para ser sincero no entendí muy bien la la explicación, pero me parece interesante y seguiré estudiando.
Un buen trabajo ,amigo.

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Jaja. Tranquilo, yo tampoco entiendo mucho. Pero valoro la complejidad de esa forma.
A mí también me gusta la décima. Aunque no soy decimero/ista (?).

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Son poemas hermosos.
Nos vemos en el espejo.
Saludos poeta.

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Son poemas hermosos.
Nos vemos en el espejo.
Saludos poeta.

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I loved this sonnet, dear @hlezama :) The couplet is genius! Just like your speaker, I never saw it coming, lol.

Thanks for the mention. Much, much appreciated :D

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Hi there!
So good to have you back. I still have to go heck your recent post.
Thanks
I was about to quit writing this, after an hour struggling with the first quatrain, but I kept remembering the many times you told me I should do this, so I kept trying. It felt like putting a thousand-piece puzzle together.

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