Different STROKES for DIFFERENT FOLKS! - #showcase-sunday

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(Edited)

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I have been thinking a lot about ”people” lately. Not specific individuals but rather the broader characters, actions, responses and so forth. Every single day of our lives we cross "paths" with countless people – be it through direct or indirect interaction or simply via observation - and whether we are cognizant of it or not, we take something away from every single instance...

As I have mentioned countless times before, I am an avid ”people watcher” - yip, I am one of those people who sits in a restaurant, listens to the conversation and studies the body language of those around me. I find it absolutely fascinating. There is a lot to be learnt as a silent observer.

This morning for instance, we went for breakfast at a local coffee shop/restaurant and there was an American “couple” sitting at the table across from us. I “assume” the title of couple because they were exchanging one another’s meals via hand… hey, I could be wrong – but this is irrelevant. They were probably in their early to mid-twenties. The gent, to my mind looked very “hippie” (and I do not use this term in a derogatory manner, I consider myself a good percentage of hippie lol), whereas the young woman appeared a lot more “groomed”. She had her hair in a casual and loose pony tail and was wearing a knitted sweater which had broad slits over the shoulders and denim jeans with one or two “manufactured tears” around the thigh area. She was neat, presentable and held a stylish elegance.

As we sat there waiting for our breakfast to arrive, I became aware of their conversation. When I glanced up – I noticed that the young woman had let her hair loose. The conversation was somewhat difficult to ignore because over the hum of surrounding conversation from other patrons, as well as the background music – I could still hear what the gent had to say.

He began describing women who wear jeans with tears in them and how it is unnecessarily provocative and definitely not something that a respectable woman would wear. I don’t know if this guy either had complete sh!t for brains, was completely insensitive or was plain and simple domineering but I actually sat there and cringed for this young woman as I could see how she began to squirm underneath the table with complete and utter awkwardness for the pants she currently had on.

He then continued to further illustrate that women who wear glasses with their hair down are simply looking for attention and that a woman who wears glasses should make herself look sophisticated by tying her hair up. This guy was actually starting to make me squirm in my seat as this young woman continued to glance over at me with my glasses and pony tail. A few moments later, she tied her hair back up.

No – he wasn’t done yet… he then went on to tell her that the knitted jersey that she was wearing was in no way appropriate to wear to the work place and that it absolutely sent the wrong message to other men and people in general.

It was actually a really sad moment to witness, because a young woman who was seemingly feeling quite comfortable in her own skin (and clothing) was completely and utterly diminished to a state of total insecurity. She stopped chatting, stuck her nose in her phone and they sat in complete silence for the remainder of the time that we were there which was a good 30 minutes longer.

I walked away from that situation feeling quite sad.

When I was a teen I dated a guy for approx. five years who was insanely jealous and horribly abusive. I can recall him once tearing a dress off me saying that I would never wear dresses again. At the time I had hair so long I could sit on it, and I can remember saying to him after that occasion ” one day – you are going to tell me that I am flirting because I have long hair and that I must cut it!” - he adamantly denied any truth in what I had said, but sure as little apples fall off trees… that day eventually came.

I have touched on just a fraction of the oppression which many exercise and others experience, but what confuses and pains me is the WHY?!

I am a person who dissects EVERYTHING to study to it from the “root forward” because (to my mind), unless you look at something right to it’s core you are most likely to cast an inaccurate judgement… but even with doing that I am still perplexed in many respects as to the actions of some people. At what point does an individual lose sight of their own short comings to a point where they become relentless on destroying another?

At the end of the day, this behaviour all boils down to insecurity.

I am not guilt free in this respect either – I don’t think anybody is… but as the years passed I have learnt to identify the fact that the manifestations of my insecurity, if left unattended - would ultimately turn me into a pretty horrible person and so I pushed my boundaries in learning to press my thumb down on myself when it comes to those things. Like I said to someone on a somewhat different topic some time back… acknowledging something is the first and biggest step toward changing and/or attaining it.

As we get older, our often wild young lives tend to calm down a few notches and we generally gravitate to smaller circles, with more “cherished” friendships and interactions, but every now and again we get thrown into a pool of piranhas and it can be quite the eye opener.

When you have not been exposed to that type of brutality and sheer ugliness for a fair amount of time, it can really hit you for a six – which it did me this last week. I am normally one who manages to brush things off pretty easily and let karma herself deal with them, but I really struggled this last bout. It was an acute reminder to me of why I generally steer clear of ugliness of any kind.

Life is way too short to entertain and engage with people who are clearly hell-bent on robbing you of anything good you may have to offer...

There is a quote which I have loved - ”You are unique – just like everybody else”. An amusing angle of approach lol, but oh so true – and we are ALL entitled to be just that! If we don’t have a healthy respect for that then really… what is left?!

I don’t want to be judged for my choices and neither do you. I don’t like feeling belittled and neither do you.

I have long since adopted the mind-set of ”I may not agree with your choices, but they are YOUR choices to make” - END OF STORY!

I have been controlled. I have been belittled, abused and diminished and I can tell you this much – never again! Just like you, I have the right to live and express myself exactly as I choose to and I am ever grateful I found that voice.

I hope that young woman I saw today, finds hers too.

In conclusion and as representation of what I have spoken about above - I would like to make mention of my header image image - my mom, @lizziesworld (who not only has amazing green fingers but is also a phenomenal artist and art teacher) gave me a painting as a gift a little while ago, which was HER version of the famous Monet Water Lilies Both very different but equally beautiful and worthy of recognition and appreciation.

The snap shot used in the header image is a close-up shot of her brush strokes on that particular piece. The symbolism (I love symbolism) of using this snap the way I did in the header is this - sometimes, you need to look a little closer to appreciate the beauty, and value of who and what it is that sits in right front of you.

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❤❤❤

Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea

FOUNDER OF THE POWERHOUSE CREATIVES & STEEM SOUTH AFRICA

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27 comments
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hi, @jaynie. I have seen this kind of situation with my own eyes. I don't know if I did any of that without knowing it ... I think not, because I was a victim of that same mentality from childhood to adolescence.

These things happen to us too!

Retrograde people who live like the Little Prince ... and believe that the world belongs to them and everyone else lives rented. People looking to hit their own defects and insecurities in others, and worse, blaming others for their own weaknesses.

I think they are behaviors acquired within a deteriorated family bond, where the exception seems to be the rule.
In my opinion, women with glasses and loose ponytails are more interesting, no matter how they are dressed.

This reminds me of that phrase that says: * "If the roses were more beautiful, then they would be called women" *

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I think they are behaviors acquired within a deteriorated family bond

I could not agree more! The first physically abusive relationship I was in as a teen... the guys family life was an absolute train wreck!

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At the end of the day, this behaviour all boils down to insecurity.

Boom! That sums it all up in one nice little package. People demean others to make themselves feel better by comparison, because they're craving to be able to feel better.

Luckily, the behaviour can be changed through learned experiences, so all hope is not yet lost for the hippie in your story. I do hope the girl is able to see his insecurities for what they are, though, and not feel ashamed. That's the worst feeling in the world.

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I hope so too on both counts. Perhaps the idea would happen and they would be able to work through it all, individually - together. In a perfect world.

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I'm a people watcher too @jaynie, though I don't get so close as to be able to hear a lot of conversation, I just like to watch people, in eateries, parks and sidewalks.
It is amazing and quite educational, makes me wonder who's watching me and what are THEY learning?

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Oh yes I could not agree more!!! It is one of my favourite pastimes! And I am certain there are other people watchers, watching us. haha!

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In some ways, in today's world, it is a scary concept, if you are a Conspiracy theorist which I sometimes entertain certain notions of things happening in the background if which we are unaware, but that is life afterall.

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My heart goes out to her. My hubby was like that. He sure had a knack with making me feel like shit for almost anything I ever did. I'd say it was insecurity in him, low self-esteem, and I embarrassed him. Me!
Your mother's painting is spectacular!

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Yeah I felt pretty much the same way for her :( and thank you... I will pass on the message! xxx

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The longer I live the more I realize : people are crazy.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Aint that the truth! Myself included (in certain ways lol)

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Saying it the way you see it is a great place to start, life is short too often the nurturing soul attracts a heartless ego filled opposite, decisions is ones own to make on how to deal with it.

The older you get the more you learn to avoid the trolls in life.

@tipu curate

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Oh absolutely!!! One of the GREAT advantages of "maturing" hehe :)

Thanks for the curation too @joanstewart xxx

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Well "matured" still quietly watch, so much one learns just watching. Actually sometimes it saves you a lot of frustration as to what to accept and what to let go in the long run.

Always a pleasure reading your posts, open, honest and off the cuff!

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(Edited)

She needed to get up ,turn about- face, and run as fast as she could away from this douche bag imho

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My heart goes out to that young woman! This guy is just another insecure bully with an inferiority complex! She will hopefully move on before he destroys her! Bullying comes in many forms and leaves lasting scars!!!
Love your Mom's painting @jaynie.

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Yes agreed! and I hope so too @lizelle. It is actually scary how many of us women allow ourselves to get manipulated into unhealthy relationships like this.

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I know I had no parts of what you went through, but I am still very sorry for what you had to go though. As big or small of an act made toward you, it still has a life long affect. Look how you have the power now, and he can’t take that away ever. I too dwell on such things for long periods of time wondering what I can do to help. It’s hard to know exactly what to say or do in those situations. The older I get the more impatient I am getting and open my mouth more when I see someone being shamed or wronged. We all have some sort of insecurity, but how we react to it is driven by fear. It’s a sad reality for many. Again I am truly sorry about your past.

On another note, loved that you tied it in with your moms painting! Very cool. Love it to. Going over to check out her blog now. Have a great week😊

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The older I get the more impatient I am getting and open my mouth more when I see someone being shamed or wronged.

Yeeeah - admittedly I am often guilty of this too. I suppose with age and maturity you just care less about what people think and more about what is just.

Thank you for taking the time to read this @bcmillergallery - and no need to apologise for something that is in my past. It is all a part of the final product haha!

Have a super Monday x

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