How does one know of their friend is toxic ?
Greetings everyone !
I hope you all are in good health . I discovered about the ecotrain community a few days back , found it interesting . This is my first post in the community!!
So how do you know if people around you are toxic ?
You are encircled by snakes rather than friends !
After reading a bunch of articles on the internet i am here to rant 😂
Plus i guess i have figured that it's not that easy to tell if they're toxic or it's you ?
You have to spend a considerable amount of time with a person to know that if they're toxic or not !
Anyway's i think one of my good friends might be toxic . I have been friends with her since school.
I started noticing it when i got in college .
- She never gave me genuine compliments . I realized she always gave me backhanded compliments. For her she was an over achiever and my accomplishments were always below her accomplishments.
2 . She body shamed me. I was already an insecure teenager back then and she added to my insecurities by body shaming me on multiple occasions and sometimes when i would confront her , she would laugh it off as a joke.
3 . She would never be really there for me and would emotional dump on me from time to time. Her problems were always bigger. Whenever i needed her to hear me , she would tell me to get over myself.
4 . She never liked my other friends and would say mean and horrible things about them . It was always her verses everyone else .
I know we all have are reasons for being the way we are but what if your self esteem has hit rock bottom because of this particular friend ? What would you do ?
Have a great day!!
Sending love and light 🧚♀️🧚♀️
@theoctoberwind
I wonder if your friends actions "trigger" / upset you? I think it's necessary to know this to be able to answer your question. From your words "if your self esteem has hit rock bottom because of this particular friend" i think you are (understandably) feeling upset, but perhaps you can confirm (or otherwise) before i attempt to answer.
Namaste
Atma
Yes i am upset because i expect the same time and effort that i put into that friendship !
Yay! 🤗
Your content has been boosted with Ecency Points, by @theoctoberwind.
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!
Support Ecency
Vote for Proposal
Delegate HP and earn more
Well. it's a good question. I have a very different understanding / belief system as to how this life on earth works than most people do, so what i would do is probably not what i would advise you to do, yet. So please bear that in mind. I will write just briefly in this comment, and depending upon your response we can go deeper. I'm not asking you to believe what i believe either, but just be open to the possibility it could be this way.
So, here goes .....
As i know (or at least have a very strong conviction) that this world we appear to live in is not really real (more like a dream, or a secondary reality) and i am not this body, (or the thoughts or feelings i seem to experience), but i am the One True Self (as are all apparent things and people), i know that the other person (the friend in this case) is unconsciously acting in this way (or being activated by One True Self) to trigger me (upset me) to help me wake up from this dream of life. The upset is due to my belief that i am a person, and so is the friend. The friend is bringing me a message. The way i can receive the message is to dismiss the messenger (put the story of what has happened to one side) and unconditionally feel the bodily sensations (the upset feelings). Consistent practice of this will gradually relax the tension(s) (usually caused by traumas in early childhood) which are attracting to me the people or events to upset me. This will no longer happen (either the triggers won't happen or i wont feel upset by them anymore) if i consistently feel (to heal).
This is a VERY brief summary. I can share much more if you wish, including a particular emotional integration procedure which can help bring you to an experiential understanding over (illusory) time. In the meantime, if you are "at rock bottom" then it may well be best to keep your distance from the friend at least until you have started to experience some "emotional integration".
With love
Atma