Originated as an escape from reality.
A difference between a photo and a snapshot
photography is a passion of mine next to my dogs. And now that I want to write a post about that. I suddenly thought, how long am I actually photographing? And when did I start to make the big difference for myself between 'photography' and 'just clicking pictures'? Because there is a big difference for me personally. There are times when I really go out and take pictures, where I am really conscious of all the knowledge I have built up over the years about photography. Consciously working on composition, with the technique that is hidden behind the photo and consciously working to get everything out of photography. Where I already know what it will look like, before I even take the photo ...
But there are also times when I just pick up my phone to take a snapshot of something that I happen to like at that moment, or because I see for a moment what I find funny with the dogs. And those pictures really don't deserve a beauty prize, but they can be just as special. And sometimes I have moments when it is a combination of both… when I walk around with my phone and still do my best to take a top photo. Or the other way around, that I walk around with my camera and just click because it is fun ...
Got my first camera when I was 12 years
Well, all that aside. As a little girl I always picked up my parents' camera. They weren't too happy about it, imagine if I broke it. Lol… Once they realized that I was very careful with it, and really enjoyed it, they decided to give me my own photo camera on my 12th birthday. Wow, how happy I was! My own red photo camera. At the time, everything was still on rolls so it became a bit of an expensive affair for my parents, but they were happy when I promised that I would not use more than 2 rolls of film per month. That restriction immediately taught me that I could not just capture everything I saw. If I did that, my rolls would fill up way too quickly. So even though I took my little camera with me everywhere I quickly became selective about what I should and should not photograph. I personally think it was a very good lesson that still comes in handy today. Because despite the fact that I have been photographing digitally for years now, I still don't just capture everything! I still try to look and think very carefully before taking the photo. That only adds to the challenge. And especially if you are really happy with the photos you have taken when you return home. And believe me, I really don't have that with every photo.
Overtime I have become more critical
So that has arisen over the years. When I just got a camera I was happy with every photo. And I loved the compliments. But over time I have become more and more critical of the photos I take, and yes of course I take enough photos that don't make me happy afterwards, I can just simply get TOO enthusiastic while shooting and then I forget everything I knows, and I'm just clicking, until the moment I realize it. Then that button in my head switches and I start thinking consciously again… and after the button has flipped, the photos appear the way I want them. With digital photography, the 'laziness' has crept in again because you have no more rolls that are gone before you know it. The memory card can now handle at least 500 photos in RAW format before I HAVE to empty it. And that is something I have retained from my analogue era. I rarely shoot so many photos at once. Only on days when I really have an outing where I completely lose myself… yes, then it is possible that I suddenly click my memory card full. On ordinary days it never comes to that. I think I am too choosy in what I want to photograph and perhaps recently too little inspired because my environment is too often the same.
I have been improved over the years
When I started writing this post I didn't really have a clear idea of what exactly I wanted to say. Yes I knew I wanted to make it clear why photography is important to me. And furthermore, I am a blogger who writes by feeling. The words have to flow from my fingers into my keyboard, as it were. Often I get an idea when I see photos, so I started by looking for the oldest photos that I have within reach on my external hard drive. And what strikes me most is that there has been an improvement in my photography over the years. Fortunately …
Through my photos you see my passions
But also that it becomes clear through my photos where my passions lie. Because ever since I started photographing, until today I usually see the same subjects in my photos. Nature and Animals, with occasional trips to Portraits. And I made those portraits by forcing myself, because as a photographer it is easier to get assignments when you photograph portraits.
I am much more of a nature person, an animal person… than a 'human person'.
I think that originated in my youth
I was always bullied by the large glasses that I had on my nose. The 'scars' that were made at that time have created such a lack of confidence in myself and in others that I decided at a very young age to do my own thing. When you have virtually no friends at a young age, that does something to you and you have to find something else to enjoy yourself. That has become photography for me. It worked both ways for me. I could keep myself busy by spending hours in nature with my own camera, observing animals and at the same time I could hide behind the camera so that I did not have to have direct contact ... after all, I was busy taking pictures. In fact, passion arose as an escape from the then harsh reality.
Learning photography with a DSLR
In 2003 my father became ill, in 2005 he passed away at the age of 63. In 2007 my mother passed away at the age of 66. At that moment photography came to a complete standstill for me. The support I had always felt from my parents and the stimulus I received from them was gone and I needed time to process this. The feeling I had always known when I picked up a camera was gone. Until I bought Rowan as a puppy in September 2008. The DSLR that I had bought before my mother died was dusted and only then I really started to learn very seriously about photography with an SLR camera. And oh .. that was a drama. Before that, I thought I REALLY knew how to photograph. I couldn't have been more wrong. When I started seriously with that first DSLR camera I could cry. I didn't understand one single thing about photography anymore … Blood, sweat and tears it cost me but I didn't want to give up.
My passion revived
Inspiration had come back through Rowan and determination grew day by day. From then on, a learning process began for me and the knowledge I gained revived my passion completely. This time just not as an escape from reality, but as a real passion that I did with love and pleasure. And to this day do with a lot of love and pleasure! Not just for myself anymore, but also on request for others. I still mostly photograph nature and animals. My own dogs are often models, but dog owners also know where to find me for a photoshoot of their buddies.
I even learned to embrace the kind of photography I avoided for years
Because of the confidence that I now have in myself, in my ability with the camera, I have also learned to put my feelings into that branch of photography that I avoided for years. I no longer shy away from portraits (in all variations you can think of). And in every photo I take there is a part of myself.
It is impossible to press the shutter button without putting part of yourself in the picture ”
The only thing that has never changed after all these years ... is that I really hate being IN FRONT of the camera myself. I prefer to stay BEHIND the camera