Dreaming Of Escaping Societal Judgment?

Therapist: Welcome, Ms Charlene. What do you want to talk about today?

Charly: Please call me Charly.

Therapist: (She nods) Charly, what's on your mind?

Charly: (Chews her lower lip for a minute) Um, my friends don't know my age.

Therapist: Wait, what? Why not?

I believe these are some of the questions that would boggle your mind if you are the therapist in this conversation but it's no secret —women do not like to reveal their age.

This leaves everyone in a guessing game. Careful there because you will get it wrong and most definitely offend her if your guess number is higher than her actual age (because you are saying she's old! No one likes to be called old) or make her smile if your guess number is lower than her age (I mean, we all want to stay younger, don't we?)

Do you think we will ever have a society where women will not be judged for their age? I see this as dreaming of an impossibility because we humans are naturally judgy. Even when we lack the skills to be a true judge.

Some women (bold, modern, self-assured) see nothing wrong with disclosing their age. It is who they are. Let the world judge, they don't care. They are confident in themselves and enjoy life. I like these kinds of women and want to be like them.

The reality is when a lady discloses her age to a man, formally or informally, questions will flood his mind. If it's in a romantic relationship, he would wonder if she is too old or too young for him. If it's work or official related, he would question whether she was up to the task or right for it. Whichever way you look at it, the woman is being judged, sometimes unintentionally.

No one likes to be labelled 'old' or 'too old' for whatever reason or her physical/mental capacity questioned based on her age. By her age, the world would want to gauge her and find a place to fit her into.

Not everyone is thrilled about getting old (though we had nursed such ideas when we were children, wishing to be adults as fast as possible only for the tide to change when we become adults). We most certainly want to remain forever in our 20s or 30s but the truth is, we get old and older every minute, every day.

Other than for official purposes, anyone inquiring about a woman's age is being intrusive and disrespectful.

Unless you are close to a person or working in an official capacity, asking a woman her age is not proper (in my opinion). Forty per cent of the women folk may not mind but I can guarantee sixty per cent will mind. It still bores down to the goal or purpose: Why do you want to know?

Another reason the issue of the woman's age comes up is in the dating/relationship area. Most men are quick to ask the lady her age to know whether or not she's 'young enough' to bear children in the event they decide to pursue that goal. Again, no woman likes to be judged for her fertility or beauty. You either want to be with her or you don't.

The importance of age cannot be underestimated. Our age is a part of who we are, a marker of how far we have come in the journey of life, a pointer to the battles of life we have faced and won, and an open gate to realities yet undiscovered. It is not something to be judged for.

It's just the same as judging a man by how much he earns. I notice some men get uncomfortable when asked to disclose their earnings. I see this sort of question as intrusive unless the parties are very close.

These are sensitive topics for both genders and it comes down to respecting people's boundaries and privacy. Isn't it about time we ditch the judgments?

What are your thoughts on this issue? Thank you for visiting my blog.

^{This also doubles as my entry to the WOTW S5W5, prompt "dreaming". Feel free to participate by clicking on the link.}

^{Image 1: Jack Thacker via Unsplash, edited with Canva
Image 2: Hannah Busing via Unsplash
Image 3: Esther Ann via Unsplash}