How smart people hurt other’s feeling

avatar

55B76B63-5D2C-4152-A6C7-B50229E54027.jpeg
Source: cybersafewarwickshire.com

We everyone sometimes argue with colleagues or concern so much on relationship in work or any organization.
In the past, there were many troubles with boss. Now this relationship issues take place on everywhere such as with colleagues or even with junior members.

I watched youtube video from one of my favorite channel that is about “How smart people hurt other’s feeling“. The channel invited a specialist on negotiation who is a lawyer Jae-Un Ryu.
He talks about how smart people hurt other’s feeling and how we could talk and react to others to avoid this issue.

He told the story about Ray Dalio who is an legendary investor and a founder of biggest hedge fund company.
In the winter of 1993, Some of employees of his company asked him to have a dinner with him. He accepted the suggestion and had a dinner with the employees.
At the moment, the employees gave him a small note that was about his strength and his weakness that need to improve.
He was shocked so much reading that.
There were several small lines of his strength, but also were many lines of his weakness. Many employees were talking about their difficulties.
“I got hurt so much in my feeling” “My pride has been getting lower as I have worked with you” “I feel I am meaningless working with you”

BBEEDCE2-7FB0-485E-9DE1-E11E4B919570.jpeg
Ray Dalio, flickr.com

I felt so much with this episode and this youtube video.
It made me more comfortable rather than feeling more responsibility.
It seems to be better to focus on other’s feeling rather than the facts.

  • Do not attack others with facts
    It may be hard to convince others if facts are prioritized.
    Read other feeling first.
    The other may get hurt when you just transfer facts directly.

  • Emotion Cushion
    It is necessary to have Emotion Cushion to persuade the other and keep good conversation.
    It is possible to convey my facts and make impacts in the circumstance of emotional change of the other.

  • The value of information
    It is possible to persuade the other when we could give good feeling and reliability. The value of information depends on the reliability of the teller, not on the contents itself.
    And we could get likability and reliability from listening.

  • Do not eat(take) so much talk out of conversation
    Don’t misunderstand that the more you talk, the easier you can persuade the other. The best talk portion between me and the other is 30% of talk from me and 70% talk from the other.
    In this conversation ration, the other could feel emotional satisfaction.

  • Careful observation to the other
    It may be possible to improve relationship and reduce any possible mistakes if you see the points that the other get hurt or feel uncomfortable.
    The quality of conversation setup the quality of relationship.
    So carefully see the other and do your best to reduce possible things that may hurt the other.



0
0
0.000
0 comments