How Things Shape You Without Even Knowing It

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This is a long free write today as had no idea why the topic even came up bit it did.I was chatting with a client today and reminiscing about what life was like 30 years ago. We weren't talking about the internet and the obvious things like technology and how it has changed most things, but the old businesses that aren't quite the same. We also spoke about the impact it had on us and how we have become different people because of our experiences. I know I am not what I would have been if I had grown up somewhere else in the world.

In the early 1990's owning any type of retail outlet was a high risk job. Think of a petrol station open all hours with limited security. The only way around it was to make one of your employees the foreman and he literally carried the money belt. The perks with that responsibility was that you would receive a bigger pay packet but the down side you were also a target and many were killed.

During those days it was fairly common going to funerals amongst the white and asian community as most knew someone who had been murdered on a monthly basis. I was a cigarette rep in those days and the stuff I saw you tend to forget about and it only comes back when you are reminded. I haven't shut it off I don't think but hadn't thought about me in this way before.

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In the early 90's I would be the only white guy walking around the taxi rank.

I used to cover the city center of Durban which involved travelling into the good and bad parts. I was in my early twenties at the time and knew no better as it was a decent job for someone of my age. I had done my military training and was heavily involved with sport, so fit as a fiddle and built like an out house.

I thought this was what life was about and you were fairly cautious in how you moved around. This way of life was normal to me and obviously it was not the normal others grew up with around the world. The one area in particular was ultra dodgy and I used to complete a days work in a few hours as I never hung about. I would visit around 20 shops in the taxi rank and take the orders then deliver in one hit. On some days I used to tell them to buy from the wholesalers and make them phone their orders through. I never used to have a routine and even today I drive a different route when going to the shops and back.

What I had forgotten was some of the defences these shops had. I used to get to see from the other side of the counter and the stuff the shop keepers had was fairly basic,but also I never took much notice. The one that stood out was an old man of about 70 or so who had a shot gun on a swivel tied to a piece of string. This string was attached to his belt so wherever he walked behind the counter the barrel pointed directly ahead of him into the shop. If you were a customer you would have no idea that a loaded gun was pointing at you whilst you were paying. He had bullet proof glass with a small payment window surrounded by metal bars.

He was one of the few that never had many problems as I knew many who lost their lives. Thinking about it he must have had problems to put such a funky gizmo in place. In those days it was fairly common to hear of a shop keeper being murdered. Some were fantastic businesses who failed to put in the right security measures. If you are making good money then everyone knows you are as well and should be even more careful. They were thinking like amateurs and were lambs to the slaughter.

We as a family used to visit a road house every Sunday for a Portuguese Chicken toasted sandwich and that also changed when the owner was murdered. Those were different times than today as it was more in your face type crime. Crime is still rampant, but maybe I am not in those circles to be witnessing the carnage on a weekly basis anymore. Most businesses have moved away from the corner shop business and into retail centers

I will never forget my father in law waking me up frequently to tear off into the night as someone had triggered the alarm at his sports club. We would literally be there within minutes as the roads would be empty at that time of the morning. It was a game of cat and mouse as we knew they were there watching us as there was no ways they had got away in time. We were always armed and would shoot first and ask questions afterwards if required. Only an idiot would fire a warning shot in those days.

I think this is why I am the way I am today being a hard arsed type person. It must have had an impact on me as a person and not even really thinking about it. The crime I see today like the time we spent living next to the golf course was child's play to me. I am not surprised we were never broken into whilst everyone around us was hit continuously. I have been raised to be very vigilant and when I look at a house I don't see the beautiful flowers or a nice swimming pool, but the weaknesses in the security.

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Looks pretty but a Bougainvillea has massive thorns and is perfect for a boundary wall covering.

Our house neighbor in Durban was struggling with break ins so I slept in the bushes for a few nights in wait. We got lucky as I spotted them at another house the one night and chased them with my dogs for over an hour on foot. We had two attempted break ins with the first guy running away and jumping over a fence with a 3 meter drop on the other side into a bougainvillea bush. I heard the screams and never saw him again. The other one I arrived at the house within minutes of getting the phone call and guessed he had hidden in the sugar cane. I never gave up and lay in ambush for him and low and behold he appeared and again the bugger was faster than me and dived through thorn bushes. Somehow this isn't normal behavior, but then again our house has never been robbed. We had an attempted armed robbery at a rental house in Johannesburg, but my dogs saw to that and they couldn't get in. I hate rentals as you cannot secure the property to your standards.

I knew I was a little rough around the edges when I was working for the cigarette company in England. The time I phoned to ask for permission to ram another car kind of tells me that it isn't normal thinking. In my mind it was the right thing to do and still believe I should have phoned after I had done the deed. It turned out I was right after all as the information was passed onto me by the CID. These guys had brutally beaten up a young woman at her cash and carry and I felt I had let her down by letting them get away. That was the only opportunity I had and had taken 6 months to lure them into the open. The company shut down the area saying it was too rough and dangerous. I didn't think so as I actually enjoyed the petty crime as it was a new challenge.

I think maybe this is why I crave to be somewhere quiet and peaceful. A sleepy hollow would do me just fine as I tend to forget all this stuff. I tend to act and think on the move and that is fine when you are in your twenties and thirties but not at my age. I can't change who I am though as it is built in and why it is good to try and forget.