Teenage Sexcapade Gone Wrong Sent me Searching for Equanimity

source

One night, when I was just 18 years old, a friend of mine of about the same age crept into my room and told me he has never had sex in his life, that he's tired of being a virgin and wants to get laid very badly.

I sat there like an evil crime boss from a movie.

source

I lit my ciga slowly and deliberately, puffed some smoke into the air.

'I understand you want to get laid ASAP', I said.

And I could have swore he replied 'Yes boss'.

So I set the records straight right before him. I told him he has three options if he wants to get laid, first he can go out there, woo a girl and ask her to be his girlfriend and with time they'll most probably get to that point. Second, he can try some of the females that are already his friends, he could ask them to have sex with him, they'll probably agree. Then third, he could bring some money and I'll take him to a brothel in town right away and he'll get laid in the next one hour, he could do it as many times as he wanted, could even have a threesome or tensome, it all depended on how much he's willing to spend.

source

That last offer must have been the most tempting thing this guy ever heard in his life, he got all sweaty and excited and chosed the offer with Ferrari speed.

So off to the brothel we went. On getting to the brothel, this friend of mine was really shaky, anxious and perturbed. It was his first time. The whole brothel thing was also quite new to me but I was way more relaxed, on some Mafia boss shit. Or well, I think it also had something to do with the fact that I had no serious mission there, all I had to do was bring this friend, sit at the bar with a bottle of beer and wait. My friend was the one who had a lot to think about.

Then again, brothels are illegal structures in my country Nigeria, the real crime bosses out there still find a way to establish one, though, but it was still quite a spot that gave you the feeling that this is some underground thing and anything could happen. You can call me a fake crime boss but I kind of knew that customers had nothing to fear and wait a minute, I knew something else: in the business world customer is king and a customer of a crime boss's establishment is the king of that crime boss. My God, I was king of a crime boss right here! Give me my motherfucking crown!

source

We sat at the bar and you'd bet I gave him the Mafia boss idea that he should grab a bottle of beer like me so he can calm his nerves. He agreed. After his bottle of beer, my boy was set to go. We saw girls upon girls walking around waiting to be engaged. My friend saw what he liked, I told him it was easy just walk up to her and say 'let's go' and she'll take you to her room where it all goes down. He did just that, however fidgety and off they went.

I sat there at the bar waiting for him when in a few minutes time he ran out, almost in tears and told me we should go outside quickly. I saw the urgency and didn't ask any question, I rushed out with him. Once we got out I asked what's the matter, he told me he's dead! That he's a dead man walking. I tried to calm him down and get him to talk but he started crying. Then he told me that he went in with the girl, she put a condom on him and he penetrated but just a few strokes in the condom tore open! His penis had been exposed inside a sex worker's vagina, who knows what he could contact? What if she has HIV/AIDS?

At this point I lost all my Mafia boss demeanor and was terrified. The possibility that he could contact a disease seemed very much in both our eyes. Sex workers are a group of people almost everyone fears would be carriers of one deadly disease or the other. Also I loved my friend and I would hate to have had anything to do with his contacting a dangerous virus like the HIV. I was deeply scared and worried.

I begged my friend to calm down, let's look for a solution to the problem, that there has to be something we can do, that I've read somewhere that acting early really helps against HIV. I suggested we visit this big pharmacy in the area and ask the professionals there what could be done. We went there and the man there said there was nothing that could be done, only prayers. Then he mixed some tablets for my friend and told him the tablets would take care of any bacteria or STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases), but about HIV nothing could be done, just prayers. He also said my friend should wait 2 to 3 months before a HIV test, that a test can't detect anything earlier.

My friend took the meds and we left, he cried his eyes out on the way. I was equally broken but I kept consoling him and trying to calm him down. Reminding him the girl was probably disease free, his penis probably didn't make enough contact and he probably had nothing to fear. He went to his house and I went to mine. That was one of the longest nights of my young life, I couldn't sleep. I was filled with guilt and so worried for my friend. I started to question a lot of my conducts and wondered if all the talk about abstinence and premarital-sex being an immoral act were not true. You know, that was long ago when I still quite subscribed to religion. I no longer do, but you can understand how much guilt must have come from my religious beliefs at that point.

So I was truly scared and worried. I really sought for some equanimity badly to quiet all my fears and worries. I tried meditation, some Tai Chi that I knew and
a lot of self-counseling. It may have worked or maybe I was just tired, because I slept off. The next morning, I went to my friend immediately. He said he has decided to go back to that brothel and take the girl for a HIV test, if she doesn't have it then he has nothing to worry about. It sounded like a plan so I accompanied him, this time quite cowered, a far cry from a crime boss's King. My friend found her, explained everything to her and begged her to come for a test. She refused upon all the pleading! When we left my friend said she must have refused because she knows she has it and doesn't want us to find out through a test. More fear and worries fell upon us! Whatever level of equanimity I had mustered fizzled away through my fingers. I was more like a crime boss's slave right now.

As we wondered what next to do, almost resigned to fate, my friend decided he calls his sister who is a student of Medicine and Surgery in a university somewhere in another part of the country. He called her and she told him that there is of course something he could do, that he should run to a hospital and ask for Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP), that it is a medicine you take within 72 hours if you fear you have been exposed to HIV in any way. She also added that the medication is free in Government owned hospitals all over Nigeria. On hearing this I was so angry at that man at the pharmacy who said there was nothing to be done apart from prayers. He was the one who made us scared the most because we trusted him to be a professional and an authority on the subject. It's a shame how many ignorant quacks like these occupy sensitive positions.

My friend ran to the hospital immediately. After explaining what happened the doctor told him there wasn't much to worry about, a HIV test was carried out, my friend was clean. The doctor gave him the PEP tablets which he was to take it for 30 days. We were a lot more relaxed after this. After a month of taking the drugs and another 2 months wait, my friend went for another HIV test, it came out negative. Phew! The end.

---

---

_{Posted via proofofbrain.io}