The luminous corridor.

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(Edited)

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It was her 35th birthday and she didn't want to see anyone, that year had been so hard, she felt she had nothing to celebrate. Loud music and the smell of beer set the mood in her house, she staggered to get from the living room to the bathroom, so she held on to the walls to keep from falling. Yenys had been drinking for three days and her body was intoxicated with alcohol, it had been four months since her girlfriend Marcela had broken up with her - 2 years together to end up like this - Yenys thought as she opened another bottle.

She returned to her country the day after the breakup, the time that lasted the relationship he had lived in the native country of her beloved girl. Her own home was strange to sher, so long living in another place, that sometimes she woke up disoriented and it took her a few seconds to remember that she was back, alone and scorned.

Over the soft ballad emitted by her player, she heard a violent knock on the door of her house, she wanted to go out quickly to confront the daring visitor, but her walk was slow and clumsy. When she opened the door there was no one there, she looked to the sides, tilted her head towards her feet and there it was, a gift box, she smiled with some contempt. The unexpected gift piqued her curiosity, so she picked up the quaint box and carried it into the kitchen. Inside the box she found a new coffee pot, she looked closely at her new appliance and found on one side three silver buttons, the first was for classic coffee, the second for rich coffee, and the last for specialty coffee.

Three delicious options for her, who besides liking good beer also loved coffee. As best she could, she made herself a cup, chose the second button, drank the coffee quickly, it was indeed delicious, she had never drunk one like it. She realized how tired she was, she went to her room and fell asleep on her bed. When she woke up everything was dark, she felt less drunk but with a strong headache, she saw to her right a hallway illuminated with a dim light, it was the hallway of her previous house, where she lived with Marcela, she closed her eyes to think better, she told herself that it was not true, that she was still dreaming. She opened her eyes again trying to wake up, the light was still there illuminating the white corridor.

A chill ran through her body, she closed her eyes and wanted to cry, it had cost her so much to accept that she was back and without the woman she loved, to suddenly wake up again in the house where she once loved her, and feel her warmth in the white sheets. She opened her eyes in desperation, but there was no longer the bright hallway, she was in her old house, she found her loneliness again and started to cry, between sobs she fell asleep, she woke up the next day with a strong hangover.

She got up and went to the kitchen, there was her new coffee pot. Just remembering the dream in the hallway gave her chills, it had been so real. She realized it was very late, hurriedly got ready and went to work. During the day she thought about the dream, convinced herself that it had been the result of so much alcohol, she told herself that she had to stop drinking.

She arrived home after a long day at work, and when she saw the coffee pot she remembered that she had not had coffee all day. She hesitated to press the second button, she was curious to know if it was the alcohol or the rich coffee from her new coffee maker, so she stuck her finger in the tempting option. Her body began to feel heavy, she made it to the bed and collapsed.

When she opened hers eyes, she saw to the right the lighted hallway, this time he was not alarmed. She felt under the sheets Marcela's hands looking for hers, she wanted to smile, in the darkness she hugged the body resting next to hers, she knew it was Marcela's, she fell asleep and when she woke up the corridor was gone, neither was her beloved companion, she felt rage and wanted to scream. She got up, this time convinced that coffee could take her back to her lost life, a doubt invaded her, if the experience was so intense and real with rich coffee, how would it be in the third option, this time she prepared herself a special one, it was delicious, she lay down on her bed waiting for the reaction, she fell asleep, but nothing happened, she woke up where she had fallen asleep.

She woke up frustrated, after thinking it over, she made herself a classic coffee, she had to try, nothing happened either. She was furious and confused, she prepared a full pot, then another and another and another, approximately 2 liters of rich coffee and drank it without stopping, until the three pots were empty and she collapsed in the kitchen.

She woke up lying on the floor, but not in her kitchen, in front of her was the hallway, beautifully illuminated by the dim light. Through it she heard Marcela's voice, calling her name, like in the old days when she called her to come down for dinner. She jumped up, a feeling between warm and cold ran through her, she didn't want to lose Marcela again, she would go through the hallway to never go back to life without her, even if it wasn't real. She knew that going through it there would be no turning back, but that was precisely what she wanted, so she crossed the hallway and went in search of Marcela.

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In the kitchen where Yenys had unscrupulously drunk the rich coffee, lay her lifeless body, hoping that in a few days someone would find it. The mysterious coffee pot was gone, and although her hands were stained and the house permeated with the smell of her fascinating drink, no one would suspect that rich coffee had taken her, at last, to the place where she belonged.

Original content by the author.
Resources: Tablet ZTE E10Q
Own photos
Translated with Deepl.com
All Rights Reserved || @jetta.amaya// 2022



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24 comments
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Hi @jetta.amaya

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It was a good storyline and setting. The only thing is that there were some translation issues with pronouns that mixed of "his and her" in many places, and it made the story a little hard to follow. Maybe you could re-read it and do some edits?
Still it was an interesting read:)

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Thank you very much for the correction, I have already checked and tried to correct everything I could. I'm sorry for this, English is not my natural language and I have a hard time, but this will help me to be more attentive in the next participations!!!!

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I see you removed the main character's name, correct? I will highlight the errors if it makes it easier for you.

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Ohhh! magnificent story... I never imagined it. I feel sad and happy with this story 🥹...loved it. Great job.

🎆🎇🎉🎊🌧️💐✨🌾🌱🌹🌙🌿🍃🥀⚡🌺☘️🍀🌈🌷⭐🪴🌵🌸🌟💮🌴🌳💫☀️💮☔🌲🌳🌍🌌🌠☄️🏵️🐝🌻🌼🍄🐞🦋💙☕💜🍍🎆🎇🎉🎊🎆🎇🎉🎊🌧️💐✨🌾🌱🌹🌙🌿🍃🥀⚡🌺☘️🍀🌈🌷⭐🪴🌵🌸🌟💮🌴🌳💫☀️💮☔🌲🌳🌍🌌🌠☄️🏵️🐝🌻🌼🍄🐞🦋💙☕💜🍍🎆🎇🎉🎊🎆🎇🎉🎊🌧️💐✨🌾🌱🌹🌙🌿🍃🥀⚡🌺☘️🍀🌈🌷⭐🪴🌵🌸🌟💮🌴🌳💫☀️💮☔🌲🌳🌍🌌🌠☄️🏵️🐝🌻🌼🍄🐞🦋💙☕💜🍍🎆🎇🎉🎊

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Thank you for your visit my dear, glad you enjoyed the story!!!!

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(Edited)

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I think there is a little misunderstanding, the main character is a woman, and so is her partner. It's a lesbian romantic drama, that's why the female pronouns!!!!

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ok, that makes the story more interesting. I will delete my corrections, however, I suggest that you edit the story and remove all the his from it.

he/his - masculine (male)
she/her - feminine (female)

That will help to add value to her post and clearer for readers...

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Thanks again for the corrections. I will make another revision to make the text clearer!!!!

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Ok, thanks for taking the time to do it:)

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Very pleased to make corrections to improve the text. I did the revision again, I think it is already better, the errors with the pronouns were very frequent. Thank you!

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Nice one! It reads much better now 👍

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What a graphic story you have just presented to me friend @jetta.amaya, the simple fact of reading these lines has caused a certain degree of nerves in my being, I felt inside the character.

Although I was a little scared I liked the way you described it, as it made the story interesting at all times.

Regards

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Thank you very much friend, I'm glad that my story provoked several sensations for you!!!!!

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I guess it's not a bad way to go in the end. At least she is in a better place or the place that she wanted to be.

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What? the ending was quite unexpected, it was surprising, intriguing and chilling. Thanks for sharing.

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Thanks for reading and commenting!!! I'm glad you liked it!!!!

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Your story reads very well until the end, it has that ingredient that attracts, keeps you in suspense and waiting for an ending that turns out to be the least expected.

I am very pleased to read this kind of stories that explore this kind of themes. For the rest, dear @jetta.amaya, it is also a brave way of writing because of the "polemic" charge that is usually generated.

I wish you all the luck in the world and may you continue to share your special talent with all of us.

A warm embrace!


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Thank you very much for your valuable comment!!! I will continue to share with you!!!

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Evocative! Sad and resolved, in one. Lovely 😉☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️

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The story grabbed me from the beginning, full of suspense and mystery. I enjoyed reading it.

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