I LOST A FRIEND TO DEPRESSION

Depression is like a scary monster that can take over the soul of anybody, even people that are known to be strong. I have exprerienced it myself and it was not a pleasant experience at all; I wouldn't wish it on my enemy. You literally feel as if you have gotten to the end of the road and there is no possible way out. It is an overwhelming feeling that makes one's mind suoer clouded and dark. It is such a terrible phase any human can pass through in life. Some come out of it victorious, getting back their sane minds, while doesn't get to do that. This brings me to talking about this friend of mine that lost his life to depression.

This is actually very hard to write about, because I can literally see his face while typing this. I can not imagine how lonely he must have felt to finally give in to this monster called depression. He wasn't my closest friend, but he was someone I could comfortably call a friend. I saw him about a week before the incident and we talked at length. He spoke about some issues he had and also told me about what he was facing in his relationship.

We talked about it for a very long time, and I told him the things I could. He seemed to get into a better mood and he thanked me for everything I had told him. I genuinely thought he was better and I was glad that he opened up to me. We talked a few times during the course of the week on whatsapp, just small talk to check up and all that.

One ugly friday afternoon, I got back to my hostel and was hearing news of a student that drank sniper (a very deadly insecticide). My phone was down, so I couldn't get a hold of the full information. I think it was my roommate or an hostel mate that showed me a picture of the person that was already circulating around. I saw the picture and my head started spinning, 'this is my friend!' I didn't know how to feel or react, I was numb and disoriented.

The most painful thing about this story was that he truly wanted to go away. We heard he ran away when people found out and tried to tske him to the hospital before the poison circulatwes into his system. Before they could find him, he was already in a critical condition. He was taken to the hospital immediately and we didn't hear any update about him anymore.

God, I prayed and cried so hard, begged God to please save him, even if it was going to be by a miracle; I just wanted my friend to come back. My faith was so strong the next morning that he would be okay, the only picture that was in my head was that he was okay and we'll get to know later in the day. I went out to town for something and on my way back, I got the news of his demise. I couldn't really control myself in the cab. The more I tried to hold it, the more the tears came rushing.

I didn't get to scold him or check up on him ever again. I stared at his last message to me for a very long time, that 'HI' I got when my phone was down that friday. I wondered if he wanted to share the way he was feeling with me. I felt so sorry for him that I wasn't there, or anyone else. I felt so sad that the only thing he could resolve to as a solution to his problems was suicide. It was a really really sad experience, and I felt so sorry that he had to go through that, I still do. I really do hope he found the peace he wanted so bad that he had to leave. I hope he is in a better place right now.

I do hope anyone going through depression gets someone to talk to, or be strong enough to get through it. Depression is real, and it has done a lot of harm to a lot of people.

Thanks for reading❤️