Neighborhood News (7/18/2020): The Vanished

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Hello Neighbors. It’s time for Neighborhood News! Now, don’t get too excited...don’t.

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I’m going to get right into it, I don’t have a lot of time to dilly dally. I haven’t obtained a dilly dallying permit from the HOA. More Neighbors have been lost to The Pool.

Remember: there’s no lifeguard on duty, so swim at your own risk! Maybe tie a rope to yourself so you can be pulled back to the safety of the concrete parapets. Hopefully we’ll figure out what keeps happening to our Neighbors, only hoping for a cool dip in The Pool and an escape from the double-Sun heat, and not expecting to vanish. Or maybe that was their hope all along…


In other news, Middy Rosenberg has taken a squad of investigators to climb The Infinitree. We haven’t heard back from them in a few days now. Radio chatter silenced on day 2, and the excursion seems to have vanished in much the same way as the swimmers. Not the best outcome, but I’m sure we can fix this.


ATTENTION: There will be a mandatory draft to search for our missing neighbors. According to the HOA, we’ve misplaced too many people who were helping pay the HOA tribute which goes to improving Neighborhood amenities, such as the tennis court and the detention center.

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Check your showers tomorrow morning (or evening if that’s when you shower). If your water is pink, you’ve been drafted. You’ll be snatched at a yet to be disclosed time and geared up for a search party.


And remember Neighbors: Don’t take it for granted. Don’t. The “No Running” signs are there for a reason.


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(Want to move into The Hood? We can always evict HOA-labeled dissidents to make room! All are welcome! Become one of Us here: https://peakd.com/c/hive-154988/. Be Our Neighbor.)

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5 comments
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STILL MISSING; It's been three years me pet alligator who goes by the name SPOT went missing, He's scaly,eight feet long, wee bit over 250 pounds at the time and tends to be on the shy side.
Reward if found.

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The search for SPOT continues. The sign on The Neighborhood builtin board has remained in the same place. Please open a support ticket with the NWA help desk for further assistance, and a helpful rookie will be sent out to give you a pat on the back.

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