The right of "Not Opinion"
Hi Hivers!
In our narcissistic society, where we are raised to think that the world revolves around us, we tend to place too much value on our own opinions.
We rarely see how aggressive, invasive, or violent our opinions can be.
When we ask our married friend when she will finally have sons or daughters, the question seems innocent and friendly. After all, we're just asking why we have confidence, right?
However, for the person on the other side, the comment is overwhelming. Because it is not the first, nor the twentieth, nor the hundredth time that it is done.
How can this person feel welcome, happy, accepted among his friends and family if almost every day one of them challenges him about one of the most important options in his life?
The message conveyed by this constant stream of comments, a message that is both violent and invasive, is that your choice of life, which must be intimate and inexhaustible, causes enormous inconvenience to those closest to you. If not, why so much insistence? If not, why so much intrusion?
For a time, I thought this only happened to people who chose unconventional paths, like not having children in a society where virtually everyone does.
But it is not true: because if the person finally gives in to the pressure and has a baby, the new intrusive question will be:
"And when will there be a second?"
I remember crying depressed when I couldn't get pregnant after three years trying. The sarcastic opinions of many people made the scenario worse. Once my daughter Genesis was born, the next question has been: When will you give a little brother to Your daughter?
Friends and family want to know when they will finally stop dressing like this, they will go to university, they will defend their thesis, they will take a contest, they will take a contest that wins more, they will get a job, they will leave that job, they will get a girlfriend, they will get married. If you buy a property they want to know when you will buy a bigger one, when you will change your car, etc.
The list is as endless as people's behaviors are endless.
All of these comments are violent. They are all small daily spines that we attach to the people closest to us.
Why are we doing this? Why do we give ourselves the right to have an opinion on such personal issues in other people's lives?
Most importantly, even if these opinions arose absent from our minds (poor, helpless against our own thoughts!), Why do we give ourselves the right to voice them out loud?
A mental exercise I've been doing is trying to visualize the unsolicited opinions that appear in my mind as if they were water gushing from a fountain, bubbling nonstop, running uncontrollably through the rocks.
I can't stop water from rising, but I can channel the river that will form. I have no way of preventing opinions from arising, but I have no way to channel them from my mouth.
Recognizing the right of other people to live free from the oppression of my opinions is also a way of acting politically in the world.
There is a popular phrase among state authorities that we hear daily in the movies:
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can be used against you.
Thanks for your attention!
