She left (freewrite)
Some memories keep haunting me even though I thought I forgot them. I don't understand why it's hard for me to let go of sadness and happiness. It was long ago, and yet it was like it just happened yesterday. It's not my intention to recall myself to be at that time where my heart was bleeding. I prefer the present where I don't have time to worry because I'm extremely happy. However, I can't ignore the fact that it was part of me from the past. Only a free write helps me to relieve the lonely feeling and eventually hoping it fades.
Happiness disturbed my face not to be drawn. I couldn't believe you and I were together. The love we had I never thought to happen. It's like a dream, it's like a fairy tale that even in my foolish dreams would happen. It's sweet, I thought diabetes would end my life soon or a heart attack because I was extremely happy.
Days, weeks, months, I even loved you more. I accepted you wholeheartedly, ignoring the situation that you had a baby in your womb from another guy. I was hurt but my love for you devoured that pain not to leave you crying when that other guy left you.
I was crazy to think I had an advantage, for sure you wouldn't leave me as I imagined how much I did for you. I took the risk of keeping you in my care, eating my pride in how people laughed at my back. I cried sometimes, it's normal, I'm not a robot and couldn't feel anything. Still, I decided to endure the pain as long as I was happy seeing you so happy.
I was crazy, I was confident that you loved me after the things I've done. It's really true that no matter what people do to you if you don't love them you can't teach your heart to love them. I didn't believe it at first but when I experienced it I couldn't believe I was being unloved.
I died for a short time, the pain was too much for me to handle. The one you love who impregnated you returned. The efforts, the sacrifices, the unconditional love I had for you were easily forgotten. You called me and told me you didn't love me. It's because, because the one who you truly love returned and you're ready to give him another chance.
I screamed silently. I rolled over. I squeezed my fist while feeling the pain. I trembled and couldn't bear the pain. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to beg you. I pleaded with you that it was not real. I forced you to say that it was me who you loved. But no matter how desperate I was not to believe all of those. Nothing happened regardless of how embarrassed I was, She left.
Thank you for reading
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fitted to my article.
Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, have fun with me talking about life events and random activities. It's fun to learn about life, don't hesitate, let's figure it out as we continue enjoying staying in this world.