Everyday for You: The Imperfectly Perfect Mother

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(Edited)

Yes, Mother's Day was two days ago and not today, but it caught me unaware as there seem to be 20 days we celebrate women in a year, and I often mix them up and never get the dates right. Better late than never, innit?

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This is an article dedicated to all the mother's far and near, for their valiant effort in raising their nations. They are not perfect in everything, but their imperfections are exactly what make them perfect.

I don't know what it's like to be a parent, and I will not for a long time, for I am but a young chap. However, I do understand what it's like to be a child, and more importantly, I do know what it's like to be raised by a loving, kind, and compassionate mother. So, indeed, I do can say one or two things about my experience with being "parented."

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I would like to first say that, hands down, I definitely would not be the person I am today if not for her. I really am nowhere close to where I'd like to see myself, but I am well on track — because someone put me on track. My utmost gratitude belongs to her for loving me without caution, wholeheartedly, unconditionally, and being there for every step of the way.

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Motherhood is indeed a job with no holidays. I have never seen a time when my mother could have been there for us and she wasn't. She would always do everything for us, my brother and I. And factoring in the fact that she was single-parenting us all the way makes her the superwoman of my life. I have shared a glimpse of how this single-parenting came about in a different post right here: The Void You Left || A Soliloquy. Indulge yourself if you'd like. She could have left as well if she wanted, but she just didn't; She stuck with her boys.

The Imperfectly Perfect Mother

We're all humans, and we all have our shortcomings; that's what makes us human. And in all my years of being "parented," I can confidently say that my mother has been the best I could have asked for, regardless of the thousands of disagreements and arguments we may have had. She is the largest stakeholder in my life, as she has had the most impact on the kind of person I have become.

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You see, whenever my mother took us to visit a friend of hers or a family member of ours, and we stayed the night or some days, she always got similar reports about her boys. They were all saying one thing, basically, and that is, "Your boys are well trained and brought up." This deduction would have been made at the sight of the little things we did that made all the difference.

In 2018, my mother's cousin passed away. We had her funeral set for Ibadan, a city in a different state far from us, and we needed a place to stay. Another of my mother's cousins, a brother to our late "Big Mommy," had a friend of his take us in. We had not met this friend before, so we were almost strangers to him, but he took us in and we stayed a night.

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In the morning of the next day, the man who took us in got up early to get his car washed in preparation for the funeral service that day. What my brother and I did next surprised him, according to him. My brother and I went out to meet him and asked to relieve him by doing the car wash for him instead. While we did it, he could tell that we were glad to do it, as my brother and I, you know, "had fun" doing it.

This man, on my mother's birthday in 2020, came to testify that we were indeed good boys and were taught well. It was not just for the car washing scenario alone, but for the other chores we did that morning and how respectful we were to his family and even friendly to his kids that were way younger than we were. It's all similar to what everyone says about us whenever they meet us, my brother and I. All of which tells a lot about what an excellent mother she is, and there are values that we have emulated from her.

Virtues upon virtues...

A true mother would give her all to make her children happy and satisfied. My mother could have gotten herself all the nice things she had always desired, but she has always sacrificed all for her boys. She sometimes sacrifices her time to rest. What manner of love!

Over here, "spare the rod, spoil the child" is taken literally. Yes, it does sound absurd that beating a child is a way of showing love. That's just how it is. And, really, it's not as bad as it sounds — if you are not on the other end of the cane, that is.

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Now, I do not mean to imply that my mother beat us as kids to show love. But she never lets the opportunity to correct us slip, and some times it is followed by some delicious strokes of the cane or a slap on the back (very heavy), enough to bring the brain back to factory settings. Believe me, I have planned my escape from her house many times. But now, I am a big boy.

There is this Yoruba adage, however, that states that "when one uses the right hand to chastise a child, the other left hand should be used to draw them closer." It implies that as one reprimands a child, love should be equally shown by making the child understand that it is out of care for them. Although the child may be in tears (literally) at that moment, they will not resent the parent but rather remain understanding that they were being taught to do better. My mother always implemented this.

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I can go on and on about how amazing she has been, and how much she has been there for us, how she loves, cares, and looks out for us, but there won't be enough words to describe it all.

There are days for specific types of celebration, but for my mother, everyday is Mother's Day. I will celebrate her everyday. And to conclude this article, I'll leave this heartfelt message for her:

𝙼𝚢 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙼𝚘𝚖, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝, 𝚜𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝, 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜, 𝙼𝚘𝚖, 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚞𝚜, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚎. 𝙽𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝.

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Original Photos


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26 comments
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Will she read this?
She has got to read it, she must! Or you read it out to her 🥰😁
She would love it, her boy has grown so much that he knows so well to praise her efforts.

Mehn... Your family is beautiful to look at, is that your younger or elder Bro? I'm actually kinda confused lol.

Good attitude never hides, and that is why you two gets those compliments to your mum from others. She is a wonderful mum indeed.

I enjoyed this read... Me still looking at the second picture with all my eyes and mouth 😂😂

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Of course, she did read it. She loved it too much. 😄
She's proud of her boys. Trust me, I can't even summarise her words.

That's my younger brother oh...he is just bigger than me now. You know it is, they grow up so fast. Don't be confused oh...

I will forever be grateful to my mother for everything. She's more than amazing.

Better close your eyes and mouth before a fly enters.
Thank you for reading, and enjoying it.
It's the post I told you about.

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Awww that's so lovely to imagine, I knew she would love it
Even me I'm proud of you two 🤧

I suspected him to be your younger brother in the first pictures but got confused in the last two pictures 😂 tiny Jay!

My eyes have seen enough and my mouth have said enough so of course, I'll close them now 🤣🤣

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She even forwarded it to many of her friends this morning. She says they love it too. I am glad I made her happy by sharing my gratitude.

Don't be confused oh...na me be big bro

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Awww that's so nice to hear 😊
I'm jealous, God when? 😂

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Go and born pikin. I know you'll make a great mother.

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Nice words you have said to your mother, excellent. Mothers sacrifice everything for their children, they are the fundamental pillar and are always there to support and help. I wish you and your family happiness.

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Yes! Yes!
I am here today because of her. Surely, mothers do deserve to be celebrated everyday — and fathers too.

Parenthood isn't the easiest thing, you know. It doesn't come with a manual. I feel you already know that. Is that so? I am frequently wrong.

Thank you for your well wishes for my family!

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I don't know how you managed to have all those TB pictures looking all dashing and clean, I don't think I have any, we probably never shared any memory as this. On the flip side, y'all are grown up now, motherly love is often in form of chastisement more than laughter.

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Oh, really? 😄 My mother has always had a thing for taking us to studios or hiring photographers to take photos of us over the years. There are many more like this. They're all on FB. I told you it's an online storage now. 😄

Indeed, mother's love is more like the bitter-sweet kind, but it's always beneficial in the long run.

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Wow, even though I won't be a mother but a father in the future, I love this. She has really done a lot in training you and your brother. It is by no means a small task.

Believe me, I have planned my escape from her house many times.

I think it is the 'very' stubborn kids that usually have this crossed their minds. 🤣
I must confess, I have had a similar experience. Once, I had packed my bags already, and then my younger sister with whom I am well pleased came in. And I had to shut down that plan.

We all thank God for growth...!

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It is by no means a small task indeed. Parenthood doesn't come with a manual, you know. One has to figure it all on the go.

I wasn't a stubborn kid, on the contrary. I just thought her to be too strict then. I didn't understand any better than to plot my escape plan.

If not for your sister, you may have ended up homeless. 😅 Kids often don't realise that fending for oneself is not child's play.

All in all, we thank God for growth. It's good to see you around, man.

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Parenthood doesn't come with a manual, you know

Honestly, we all gotta learn on the job!

Thank God for my little sis, I could have been worse than this.. 😅

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While reading this I felt emotional,your mum is indeed a superwoman bringing up too guys (boys)all by herself is really not easy. She should be celebrated everyday.
I haven't meet you but I must confess you are well brought up.
You look like your mum sha😄she has a beautiful smile like urs, I hope you are not the "Omo mummy"

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Aww...I am glad you understand. Motherhood sure doesn't come with a manual.

I haven't met you but I must confess you are well brought up.

I am so humbled by this heartwarming comment of yours. Thank you so much!

Oh, well, am I not "Omo mummy" truly? Aren't we all? 😄
And I actually look a lot more like day — according to my Mom, anyway.

Thank you for reading, goody.

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Lol there are some "Omo mummy" that is so obvious 🤣🤣🤣.
You are welcome jay keep making her proud.

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😄 I guess.

Thank you, Goody!

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Oh, this is nice. We are growing and moving forward.
Thank you, @hivebuzz

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@olujay this beautiful woman that birthed you will be so proud of you to know that you appreciated all her efforts . You are indeed a good chap. I must say you got nice pics here can't stop admiring them. African beauty!

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I keep trying my best to make her proud, even in the littlest ways. She liked this article for her. It made her really happy.

Thank you for your kind words, and for coming around too.

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Amazing. I love this.

Especially the throwbacks. And I will say mothers are always mothers which is one reason why they are priceless.

I got to see this late, but I can’t just flip over without saying anything. I pray for many more goodness for our mothers.

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Oh, yes. Mothers are indeed amazing. I cherish mine very much.

I really appreciate you for taking the time to read and comment, man. It's never really late, and it's better than never still.

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