FINANCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

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I've been in a plethora of relationships. I'm talking about friends, acquaintances, lovers, siblings and parent relationships.

I've never quite wrapped my head around the essence and structures of a lot of these relationships. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll try.

During my service year, I lived with a young lady for 3 months. She was kind to me. I paid no rent, but I contributed to food and the general house upkeep.

I tend to be quite freehanded. This happens especially when I have some change in my account. I spend, take up debts that really shouldn't concern me.

I felt this friend I lived with took constant advantage of my presence in her home.

While I lived with her I often considered her rent. I constantly made calculations in my head of how much she spent on rent, compared to how much I spent monthly living with her.

From my calculations, I deduced that I practically spent more than 50% of her yearly rent on feeding and general payments I wasn't meant to make. I felt cheated.

She was kind to me, yes. But she gave me the constant impression as though I had so much, so I needed to spend on these things that really didn't concern me.

When I put it all together, I decided my time with her had elapsed. I had to leave. And I did.

On several occasions, I've found myself in similar situations with people.

Prior to this time, I was drained financially by the man I dated for 4 years. It almost seems like the moment I get freehanded with money, people's demands just start coming and they don't stop coming.

My previous boyfriend, who was 10 years older, would constantly take money from me. He made it seem like the proper thing to do. I was given the impression that a good girlfriend ought to have money to give whenever she was asked.

I always try, stupidly, to keep up with the demands of people whenever I'm asked for help. It almost feels like an obligation I didn't sign up for.

Recently, I found myself in a similar situation. I feel bitter with myself for my inability to sense when I'm being taken advantage of and just leave.

I often wonder if all relationships have to involve so much unreciprocated financial involvements.

Several times, it appears that after the first financial involvement is made, there will be so many more.

I try to refrain from the general notion of feminine leaching. I don't consider myself a leach. I would hate to be considered a leach by anyone.

Do all relationships have to be financially draining? Or am I just being too greedy? Do people always have to ask me just because I don't ask? Or is the fact that I don't ask enough reason for people to assume that I have plenty?

My name is Karina.

I'm a Nigerian,
A writer of short stories,
A part-time editor, and
A talkative.

I love reading.
I'm currently reading 'Anxious People' by Fredrick Backman.

I write for therapy and pay.

I'm the last child of 8 children and I'm 23 years old.

Check out my Freelance Gigs

• I will write vintage fashion articles for you
• I will write thrilling short stories for you

Here's my recent story:
Dawn

You can contact me:

• Twitter @karina_lovet
• Instagram @kmama
• Discord @kmama
  

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