My Money, My Rules

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That day, it was after work that I was able to make it to the pharmacy. After yet another grueling day at the office. After all, I had a lot to catch up on. Three weeks unwarranted vacation had left a lot of backlog for me. One I was seeking to correct.

I'm a lawyer by profession, but I was also into other businesses. I was a real estate agent, I was into network marketing and I was running my late father's shoe factory. Everything I was doing was making me good money.

The money was rolling in. But the more it rolled, the more I got known and the harder I had to work. Each week, I pushed myself to new limits, some nights getting as little as two hours sleep so as to wake up early enough for the next round of hustle.

Everything was going fine, my wife and I were happy.

Until I collapsed one day, right there in my office.

My secretary found me and I was rushed to the hospital. I was unconscious for over twenty four hours. When I woke, I was told by the doctor that my body had been unconscious for that long because it needed to rest. And he told me why.

"Stress."

"What?" I muttered, unsure of his meaning. "How can stress be the cause?"

"I've spoken to your wife. You barely eat, you barely sleep. But you work all hours of the day and you drink coffee like water."

At the mention of coffee, I realized I was having a craving for it at the moment. But it didn't feel like a good time to voice it out. So I tried to go defensive, "but I eat--"

"Biscuits?" He cut me off at once, "biscuits won't keep you alive sir. A good healthy meal can. And from my charts here, your blood pressure is extremely high. If something is not done about this, it could escalate into something far worse."

From there, he proceeded to teach me how to live my life. Telling me to cut back on my work, reduce stress, eat three times a day and most importantly, be monitoring my blood pressure. What a crock!

I was in the hospital for three full weeks, my businesses were in the hands of my secretary and my wife was fussing over me, blaming herself for not forcing me to eat and rest more often. It wasn't her fault though, I could be pretty stubborn when I choose to. That's how i got to where I was professionally, stubbornness.

It seemed the hospital staff capitalized on this guilt of my wife and made her pay dearly. Or should I say, made me pay dearly! They kept bringing outrageous bills, and she paid them all without question. Even when I forbade her, she pretended not to hear. Or she would say, "it's just money, you can make it back. But you cannot get your life back once it's gone."

Still, I felt my blood boil each time she handed over a wad of notes to the hospital, either for drugs, test, or some trumped up service. Now, I'm beginning to think that's why I was getting royal treatment from them. Because they were ripping me off!

Eventually, I got discharged and I was like; good riddance to bad rubbish. How could the dumb doctor tell me to cut down on my work? If I had been cutting down on it earlier would I have been able to afford their bills? But my wife was having none of that. She pumped me with food and vegetables, even put food for me in a flask so I could eat it at lunch while at the office.

Everyday I take the food from her, hoping in all sincerity I'll eat it. But I always get carried away and I forget. By the time I remember, it's too late and the food would be spoilt. So I was always throwing the food away.

She found out this morning and we had an something we rarely did, an argument. Or to be more precise, I got a talking down to from a really angry woman. Seeing as she did all the talking. And I stood there, her husband, unable to say a word in defense of my actions.

"Do not come back tonight if you're not with your blood pressure monitor." She concluded.

"What?"

"The doctor said we should be monitoring your blood pressure! It's been a week now, why haven't you bought it?"

"The doctors again." I groaned, "those guys don't know jack. All they want is our money."

"Those doctors saved your life. They know that much. Do not come back without that device, or you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight."

And so, here I am, at the pharmacy. Because I don't want to sleep on the couch.

But I was only buying the bloody thing because she insisted, and I was only willing to spend as much as two thousand naira on it. Nothing more.

"Fifteen thousand naira, sir." The lady at the desk told me, idly fiddling with her phone with her long plastic nails.

"What?" I gasped in shock, this was enough to send me back to the hospital. "That's too expensive!"

She looked at me, "sir, it's even cheap now. Last week we were selling it for seventeen thousand naira."

"I don't care about that! Isn't it supposed to be two thousand naira? Or at most five thousand? Call a better price for me!"

The lady studied me for a second, then she realized I was dead serious. "I'm sorry sir, you won't get it at that price here."

"Fine." I told her. I love my wife dearly, and I dislike hurting her. But I refused to be robbed by these money hungry medical professionals. I'm done giving them my money. So I turned in a rage and stomped off.

A couple paces from the pharmacy, I almost ran into a young man pushing a cart full of wares.

"Sorry sir!" He said.

I was about to walk past him when I stopped short. The wares he was pushing were medical supplies. They all looked old and worn out, but they also looked like they still had some use left in them. They were second hand goods.

"Are these for sale?" I asked.

He nodded, "yes sir."

"Do you have blood pressure monitor?"

"Yes sir. For five thousand naira." He began to rummage through the pile.

"I have three thousand with me here."

"Okay, bring it sir." He pulled out the device, wiped the dust off it and then began to rummage once more for the arm cuffs. The speed with which he had agreed to my price made me believe I could have gotten it cheaper.

But I paid and took it from him after wrapping it in a nylon. I turned then and gave the finger to the pharmacy.

I got home, showing my wife what I had gotten. She smiled. The smile I've always loved.

"This is for your own good." She told me.

I rolled my eyes. I just didn't want to sleep on the couch tonight.

"Okay, let's try it out."

I shrugged, "you're the boss."

I sat on the couch and folded the sleeve of my left arm up to the shoulder.

"The doctor showed me how to do this." She said, sliding the arm cuffs up my hand and up to my arm where she wrapped it up with the Velcro material.

She took batteries and fed them into the device. Then she took the cord that was jutting out of the cuffs and connected it to the device. She pressed the start button.

The device beeped once, then began to hum.

She nodded her head as numbers began to flash over the screen.

The cuff began to tighten around my arm, as though the air was being sucked out through my skin.

"It's too tight, honey." I muttered, beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"That's how it works, it's part of the process."

The device beeped again. And again. Then continuously. And as I saw her frown, I knew at once this wasn't a part of the process. Something was wrong.

"Argh!" I gave an involuntary cry as the cuff kept tightening around my arm like a vise, cutting off my blood flow to my wrist and palm where I was now feeling a painful sensation. "What the hell is happening?"

My heart was racing not just from fear, I could feel my blood pressure build up. Unable to sit still, I got up, clawing at the cuff. I dropped to my knees immediately, my vision was hazy.

"I don't know!" My wife cried, "this is not meant to happen!"

"Unplug it!" I barked, my heartbeat was thudding loudly in my ears. Even louder than the nonstop beeping and hum of the device.

She pulled off the cord from the device, letting it fall to the floor. It didn't stop.

My vision had reduced to a series of white dots over a sea of black. My heart was beating too fast, my blood pressure getting too high. I could feel it. My system was collapsing.

Suddenly, I felt my wife grab me and hold me against the floor, then with a savage yank, pulled off the Velcro that held the cuffs tight and then she tore it off my arm.

The relief I felt was glorious. I almost wept for joy as I felt blood gush through my veins with glee, spreading quickly down to my palm.

Slowly, my vision returned to normal and I saw my wife, seated on the floor beside me, panting as she stared at me.

"Where did you buy this thing?" She asked quietly.

"What?" I pretended not to hear, massaging my chest as I tried to bring my heart beat down once more.

"You heard me!" She cried, "I can't believe I didn't notice! There's no carton, it's full of dust and scratches, the cuff is dirty. Please, why are you not concerned for your life?" She stood up then, wiping her tears.

"Hey babe..." I tried to placate her.

She ignored me and went to take her car keys.

"Where are you going?"

"Seeing as you need someone to beg you so you can stay alive, I'm going to the pharmacy to get it myself."

"Honey..."

"And that couch you almost got yourself killed on, it'll be your bed tonight. And tomorrow night. And every other night till I decide to forgive you."

And she walked out.

Feeling disgusted with myself, I sank back down to the couch. My bed for the night. I cursed myself, seeing what my selfishness had caused me.

"I had almost died! Again!" In a rage, I grabbed the device and hurled it across the room. The crash do nothing to calm me.

I had seen disappointment on my wife's face and I hated myself for it. At that moment, I was willing to spend even a hundred and fifty thousand naira on the damn device if it would make her happy.

I had come to the painful realization that health is the greatest wealth and shouldn't be joked around with. And because something is cheaper, doesn't mean it's good enough.

Or good at all.

_{The End.
Thank you for reading.}