Just Business: The Inkwell Prompt #28

avatar
(Edited)

photo-1574681289998-05cd669af0b9.jpeg
Image by Reiseuhu


"Comms check," Brody said into a microphone mounted on his desk, he was rapidly punching keys into his laptop.

"Loud and clear, boss," Felix said.

"All clear," I said as well.

Felix and I were dressed in wet suits, the suits were black and shiny. We had dive computers on our backs. We were about to dive into the depths of the Caribbean sea.

"Okay," I turned to Felix, taking my helmet as I led the way out. My movements were awkward due to the fins on my feet. They were not just any fins, they were specially fitted for deep-sea diving.

The yacht we were in rocked lightly as we stepped into the sunlight. We were in the middle of the Caribbean sea, far from any land.

The sea was calm and serene, its water was sparkling blue. Just how I liked it.

"Let's do this," I said as I put on my helmet. It covered my entire face and was watertight so I could talk freely. Crew members helped me fix the tube of my oxygen tank to the helmet so I could breathe. Other crew members were assisting Felix.

When we were done, we walked to the edge of the yacht.

"Don't forget." Brody's voice was loud in my ear, "you're only going for a look around. Make sure the treasure is there, then come back out."

"Aye aye, captain," I said, then with a mock salute, I hugged my hand to my chest and leaped off the yacht.

I plunged into the water and was submerged at once. As I sent under, I opened my eyes to see Felix plunge in as well. I studied my dive computer on my wrist, then I nodded at him.

"We're good to go," I said, the mic in my helmet transmitting my words to his comm.

We began to swim downward, using a digital compass to guide our path. As we went deeper, fishes swam by, schools of them scattered as we came through.

Felix and I were on our way to the location of a sunken ship.

In the 1800s, a notorious pirate called Redneck had ruled the Caribbean seas with an iron fist. He had accumulated so many treasures, stealing and robbing anything that dared set sail. His name was mentioned with fear and terror, his reputation spread far and wide. He was a man obsessed with treasures, and he didn't mind killing to get them.

Soon, the people and their leaders fought back. He and his band of miscreants had to take off on his ship with his pile of treasures. Unable to dock at any of the surrounding islands anymore, they set sail far into the Caribbean seas. And unfortunately, they sailed right into the eye of a terrible storm.

And although they fought bravely, nature won in the end. The ship was wrecked and was buried along with all the treasures in the depths of the sea.

And it was these treasures Felix and I were going after.

"How are you guys doing down there?" Brody asked through the comms.

"No surprises yet," I replied, kicking my legs slowly as we kept descending lower. My dive computer was calculating the depth I had covered and the pressure gauge water was putting on my body. Everything was still in their safe zone for now.

"We're good, Brody," Felix said.

As we swam further, leaving a trail of bubbles behind us, we began to see underwater plants and some of the creatures that lived within them.

I turned to glance at Felix, he was focused on the journey ahead, studying his compass religiously. He was not much of a talker.

He and Brody were teammates, partners even. And this was my first time working with them. Normally, I choose to fly solo, but at the moment I was dead broke and could no longer afford my underwater trips.

Okay, I'll confess. I was not the best man in the sea. Matter of fact, I was the third most wanted on Interpol's list. And that made me a pretty dangerous person to be with.

Just like Redneck, I was obsessed with treasures. I had killed for it and I will do it again without hesitation. I had amassed quite a lot of wealth for myself, enough to live off for the rest of my life. Then I had almost gotten arrested, I lost my house, my bank account got frozen, and the treasures I had painstakingly gathered over the years fell into the hand of the government. And to make matters worse, I was on the run.

So I needed money and Redneck's treasures promised me lots of it. But I couldn't do it alone. I needed help. So I solicited the help of Brody and Felix. They came with money and tools, I came with my knowledge of Redneck. And the plan was to split the treasures three ways.

And now, we were sailing for the shipwreck.

What they didn't know was that I was only using them. I had no plans to share the treasure. Once I confirmed it was there I would take care of Felix.

Like Redneck, I knew what I wanted and I went after it.

I looked away from him, it was almost sad really. But this could make me a billionaire again. And I was not going to let sentiments cloud my business sense.

"We're here." He said suddenly.

I felt my heart jump in anticipation as the shipwreck slowly slid into view.

"We are, indeed," I muttered as we closed in.

The sunken ship laid on its side and had been broken in half. There were large holes on the body, big enough for us to fit through.

"Good," Brody was saying. "Can you confirm if the treasures are there?"

"Not yet," Felix replied as he looked through the hole into the dark confines of the ship. "We need to go in."

We activated our headlamps and swam through the hole one after the other. There were shelves on both sides of us, but they were empty. We swam further, I saw pieces of wood floating in the air.

"What the hell..." I muttered to myself, the ship was empty. There was no sign that there had been anybody or anything on it before it sank. Could it be that they were not the first ones here?

"I see a chest!" Felix said excitedly and swam to an open part of the ship. Feeling hopeful, I swam after him. We got to the chest, it was made of thick old metal and it took two of us to heave it open.

I sucked in a deep breath as my eyes fell on pure gold. The precious minerals were glowing eerily in my face. My heart was beating so fast I could barely hear myself think.

"We found it, Brody!" Felix announced, then swam away from the chest, "but there has to be more."

I ignored him. I picked a gold coin, it had the emblem of a king engraved on it. This was the real deal.

Without another word, I closed the chest. Then feeling around, underneath my tank I pulled out my dagger from where I had hidden it. Now was time to finish Felix once and for all. I turned to face him, but he was already facing me.

His eyes fell on the dagger, "what do you need that for?"

"I'm sorry, Felix," I muttered, raising the dagger. I had planned to punch a hole in his tank so he would lose his oxygen but now I would have to get my hands dirty. "I can't share this money. Please don't take it personally, it's just business."

He let out a deep breath, "okay. It's all yours."

I blanched, my hands still raised, "you're leaving it for me? Just like that?"

"What? You don't want it again? You said you can't share it, so take it all."

I studied him suspiciously, "for someone who just got betrayed and is about to be killed, you sure look calm."

"Oh..." He chuckled, "you want me to be shocked? Or surprised? Nah... I decided to leave the shock and surprise for you."

Where the cage came from, I had no idea. It simply fell over me, trapping me and the chest securely. Felix swam over and quickly locked it. It was over in seconds.

"What???" I gasped stupidly as I stared in confusion.

"You think we don't know you? We don't know of you? Brody and I make our research before partnering with anyone."

"Then why did you work with me?"

"We didn't want to, nothing on earth would have made us work with a murderer. We knew you would always betray us, your reputation sure speaks a lot for you. But Interpol approached us and convinced us to work with you. They said they'll let us have all the treasures if we help them catch you. They helped set up this sweet trap. And they also helped us clear out the treasures two days ago. What's in that chest is only the tip of the pile, the rest is safe somewhere on land. And you're never getting your hands on any of them. And we won't even let you have the chest either."

"No wonder..." I muttered, cursing loudly as I gripped the bars of the cage. I had noticed the ship looked too empty. I looked at him and began to beg, "please Felix, you can't let them arrest me!"

"Brody," Felix spoke into his comm, "it's all set." Then he looked at me, "Interpol is waiting for you on the surface, good luck partner."

"No! Felix!" I cried, "you can't let them take me! I'm sorry!"

"You're a murderer! And you're going to prison! While Brody and I would become billionaires. Please don't take it personally, it's just business."

And helplessly, I could only watch as I was pulled up and out of the water in the steel cage. I dropped to my knee, breathing slowly as I gave up hope.

My days as a free man were over.


The End.
This story was inspired by this week's prompt Shipwreck. Feel free to try it out.


You can contact me via my Discord handle below:
bruno-kema#1355



0
0
0.000
9 comments
avatar

Oh, Wow! This is brilliant and captivating! You are a fantastic writer and did great with this week's prompt.

The plot twist is superb... Somehow I expected the narrotor to succeed in his betrayal plans but so glad he did not!

Felix and Brody were smart to carry out due diligence and investigation before working with the narrator in this story.

Great story and well written! 🙂

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you very much @kemmyb...
Actually, my plan had been for Felix to be the bad guy, but plans changed as i wrote it. I'm glad it worked out okay.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story

0
0
0.000
avatar

A police intrigue set at sea. The narrator's greed and lack of scruples lead him to underestimate his associates and the police force!
I must say that the character of a diver with bad feelings is a novelty for me.

As a rule, in literature, in oceanography, and also in real life, the divers I know seem to be very much at peace with themselves.

Anyway I enjoyed the diving scenes and looked at the colours of the seabed.
Thanks for this interesting story, @bruno-kema .

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you for participating in this week's call with this interesting story in the deep sea, @bruno-kema.

It's great to see you interacting with the other writers, that makes our community grow stronger and stronger every day.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you very much for all your support, I am glad i posted in this community.

0
0
0.000
avatar

This is fantastic, @bruno-kema. I love the great details as the dive begins, and then the subtle hints of foreshadowing that all is not as it seems. I anticipated something like this in the moment before I read it:

What they didn't know was that I was only using them. I had no plans to share the treasure. Once I confirmed it was there I would take care of Felix.

But there's a twist in store for us in the end. Felix's life is spared and in fact the joke is on the narrator! This has all the elements of a great story!

I do have one small tip for you. It's about "comma splicing." Basically this happenes when you have two full sentences separated by a comma, when they really need to be separate sentences. Here are a couple of examples:

"Comms check," Brody said into a microphone mounted on his desk, he was rapidly punching keys into his laptop.

"He was rapidly punching..." should be a new sentence. You can make the distintion when you have two full sentences that could each stand alone. When that is the case, it is not grammatically correct to separate them with a comma.

Felix and I were dressed in wet suits, the suits were black and shiny.

Same with this one. You actually have a few options for how to correct it:

  • Felix and I were dressed in wet suits. The suits were black and shiny.
  • Felix and I were dressed in wet suits; the suits were black and shiny.
  • Felix and I were dressed in wet suits, which were black and shiny.
  • Felix and I were dressed in black, shiny wet suits.

I hope that helps you! Absolutely fantastic story, @bruno-kema.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you very much for this @agmoore, i will edit the story immediately.
I am really glad you enjoyed the story.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Great story with a great plot twist. For a moment I thought the main character would succeed in his plan, although I knew all was not as it seemed when the ship was almost empty

0
0
0.000