The Love Crystals ||| Inkwell Fiction Prompt 114
It was early morning and the quietness at the hospital was deafening. Only the sounds of beep beep of machines were heard. How would life be without those machines? No one can imagine.
Tears gathered in David's eyes as he watched Raya being taken for more tests. Even in his years fighting the war, he never felt the heavy sadness he feels now. David was a military veteran who quit his job to be with his wife, Raya and have a normal life. They started a new business. They opened the bed and breakfast and life was good until Raya got sick.
Raya had surgery that afternoon at 5 pm. David felt his soul coming out of his chest because of the pain he felt. Life was crazy, it was like yesterday they were playing on the beach like two children.
“Don't do anything reckless while I'm in there, Okay?” Raya said with a faint voice.
“We will get through this, you will be okay again, promise me!" David said with a lump in his throat that was about to burst.
“I promise,” Raya said with a smile.
David knew one thing, that he had to get the love crystal for Raya before she goes into the surgery room. He already got the money by putting another mortgage on the house and bought the love crystal. And, today the crystal was ready, and he had to personally go and get it.
It was 8 a.m when he arrived at the Eternally Wild company. Because he couldn't find a parking spot there, he had to park his car a few blocks away. The Eternally Wild company specialized in making the love crystals. There were other companies, but Eternally Wild was the best. Their customer service was excellent, as he read from online reviews.
He entered the building. A woman called Janet came and greeted him and directed him to a big conference room and told him to wait. Two men named Mr. Garcia and Mr. Davis came into the room. They had some papers for David to sign. Mr. Davis handed the papers to David and told him where he should sign the papers. He signed the papers with trembling hands because he was nervous. All he thought about was Raya and how she was doing.
“Okay, Mr. Miller, before I give you the crystal, you must understand some important matters regarding the love crystal. You must listen to me carefully. As you can see, this crystal is in the shape of a heart and holds the essence of your memories with your wife. All crystals are protected by a password and only the owner knows about it, as you may know,” Mr. Garcia explained.
“Yes, I know the password,” David said, assuring Mr. Garcia everything is under control.
“All your memories together were transferred successfully to the crystal. These crystals are created with advanced technology. They hold energy. You place it over your heart chakra, and it will get activated. These crystals help couples in their relationships, whenever they encounter any problems, they just put the crystals in their heart chakra, and they will remember how they fell in love, and it makes them feel good. It recreates and regenerates the past feelings inside the specific memory the holder chooses to remember. This crystal is from your own perspective and holds your memories with your wife. It is not some gadget for playing. You must not lose it! There is a market for them on the dark web, and they are sold for millions. You understand?” Mr. Garcia continued.
"I thought only famous people's love crystals got stolen?" David asked impatiently.
“No, regular people's crystals often get stolen if the love is special somehow! They are sold based on how deep the love is and how the energy “influences” the buyer. They are sold in auctions, and the market is hot for them at the moment!” Mr. Garcia replied.
“If you happen to lose it, we must deactivate it, because your consciousness and your wife's consciousness will be in danger! We wouldnt trust the police in this matter. Mr. Miller, deactivation costs as much money as creating the crystal. The thieves will get access to all of your passwords and all of your sensitive information because it holds your memory if we don't deactivate it!” Mr. Garcia continued.
“You can count on us Mr. Miller, here is our card,” Mr. Garcia said, and handed the card to David. All contact info was printed on it.
“One last word, Mr Miller,” Mr. Garcia said.
“I'm listening,” David said.
“Enjoy the love!” Mr. Garcia and Mr. Davis spoke in unison.
“Thank you, we will!” David said.
David was happy like a child who got a new toy. He knew that Raya would be overjoyed when she saw the love crystal. He put the little box in his pocket and got out of the building, heading towards his car. He put his hands in his pocket to make sure the crystal was in his hand.
As he was walking, he noticed a man with a hoodie following him. He panicked and tried to walk faster, but the man was persistent, and he walked fast as well. David started to run, he knew that man was following him to steal the love crystal.
The man came closer and they started to fight. The box containing the crystal fell out of David's pocket and fell to the ground. The man with the hoodie snatched it and ran towards a car parked not far away. David spotted the thieves car and got into his car and followed them. They tried to leave David behind, but they couldn't. David was quick.
“This shouldn't have happened!” David shouted as he was driving, angry at himself. “I should be with Raya right now, she needs me!"
They got to the highway and David's car reached the thieves' car. The two cars were parallel to each other.
“Give it back!” David shouted with all his might.
The thieves' car drove faster. David put the car on autopilot and came closer to the thieves car, so close they were about to hit each other. David got out of his car and jumped on the thieves car. The car moved left and right, trying to make David fall, but he kept his balance. He put a tracker on top of the thieves's car and jumped back to his car.
The thieves' car drove away. They thought they lost David. But, he followed them through the tracker. The tracker was controlled through an application on David's phone. David found out their whereabouts.
They parked in front of a mansion, a beautiful big house. David parked not far from the house and was eyeing them with the zoom feature on his phone. He could see the man with the hoodie inside the car with his phone zooming in. The driver and the man with the hoodie were waiting for the gate to open. The house gate opened and they both got inside.
“I have to get inside that house!” David said with determination. He thought about calling the police, but then he thought the police may be helping the thieves. He thought about informing the Eternally Wild company to deactivate the crystal, but then he had to pay for its activation again. So, he had to get the love cystal himself.
He knew that the house was protected by highly advanced security systems. He learned in the military how to get past security systems. He got to work and got inside the house.
It was almost 11 a.m. and he had 6 hours to get the love crystal to Raya to surprise her.
The house had a big garden full of flowers, it was a dreamy house. There were guards, he took care of them one by one and got to the main entrance, and he got inside the main building. There were several houses built on that property. He hid himself, so he couldn't be seen.
The two thieves handed his love crystal to an old man who was wearing a designer robe. He recognized the old man. His name was Carlos Gustav, he was a famous comic book writer. He wrote amazing stories about superheroes. David followed Carlos to a room. He saw that the walls of the room opened into another room full of stolen love crystals.
David couldn't believe his eyes. It was crazy how many love crystals Carlos stole and kept in that hidden room inside the walls. There were about 20 of them.
Carlos took a deep breath, there was a chip in his brain. He activated the chip, and put David's love crystal in front of him and started to do some kind of meditation.
“He is trying to hack it with the chip in his brain!” David thought. David suddenly got a bad headache as Carlos was doing the meditation.
David got dizzy and fell to the ground, and when he woke up he was tied to a chair, and he was in the room inside the walls.
“Your memories with your wife are very beautiful. Very romantic, I should say. They are “special” I can find a buyer for them, and sell them for 10 million or more,” Carlos said with a smile. “Oh, I saw what you did to the guards, back up will be here soon, and we will decide what to do to you.”
"Why are you doing this?" David asked, still having a headache.
"You know, nothing like a good memory can make you feel great," Carlos replied. "Not all people have the chance to experience the love you experienced."
"You use them for your stories, right? That's how you come up with those stories!"
"Yup! Your a smart man David. You should be proud. But, now you can't do anything because your tied to a chair! Your helpless!" Carlos said sarcastically.
As they were talking, David couldn't help but see a bigger than the average love crystal in the middle of the room.
“What's that?” David asked, pointing to the big crystal, which was on a display stand showcase.
“Oh, That's the master love crystal, it holds about 313 couple memories. It's just a copy of the memories. It doesnt hold any energy. The main memory is inside the individual love crystals, which I sell. Suppose that you copied a document with your printer and now you have a copy. The master crystal is just that, its a copy. It took me 5 years to gather all the good memories,
I just use them for inspiration” Carlos replied and took the master crystal and held it in his hands to admire it.
Carlos continued explaining more, but David didn't hear him because he was busy trying to distract him to get out of the ropes. Nothing made him fear inside anymore. With an otherworldly strength, he got out of the ropes and jumped on Carlos.
The master crystal in Carlos's hand fell to the ground and broke. David hit Carlos with all his might, and got his love crystal plus the other 20 crystals and exited the house quickly.
It was about 4 p.m. when he arrived at the hospital. He gave the love crystal to Raya, but what she said surprised David.
“I just need you by my side, not some gadget to remind me of our love together, I feel it every day and every moment, I don't need anything to remind me how much I love you! But since you bought it for so much money, I will try it!" Raya said this as she was going into the surgery room, and placed the love crystal over her heart chakra and smiled at David. David kissed her forehead and smiled back as tears gathered in his eyes.
David waited for a few hours. The doctor informed him that the surgery was a success and Raya will recover soon.
David sighed in relief. He had one more thing to do that day. He went again to the Eternally Wild Company and gave the stolen crystals and explained what happened to him. They assured him that they will find the owners and give back the love crystals to them.
This is an imaginative and action packed take on the prompt, which finds David becoming an unexpected hero! However, in this story we find an imbalance of narrative vs. description. For example, in the scene where David chases the thieves onto the highway, it is extremely hard to picture anything that is happening. The men have a scuffle, then suddenly are driving. We are shocked when David leaps from his car onto theirs, yet the transition of how he makes it out of this alive is unexplained.
It would be wonderful to see this story edited down and clarified. We are left unsure of how David managed most of the action here, or why the famous comic book writer was stealing and combining these crystals/ how they remained activated. By choosing to focus on certain scenes in short stories, we give the reader a better idea of the circumstances. We hope this feedback helps! Thank you for sharing your fascinating story with us, and for your engagement with other members of the community.
Thank you for your wonderful feedback. I see what I can do. I will edit it. ❤️
Nothing more I like than happy endings. Brilliant story ❤
Thank you very much for reading my story ❤️
Hello @lenaspiritual You wrote a very interesting and exciting story. I loved the theme, excellent imagination and how well you narrated the story. David was a great hero driven by love.😍
The final message was wonderful .
Thank you very mush for reading my story and your nice comment ❤️
Your story is touching but very imaginative! The scene where David confronted the thieves is intense and action-packed. I find myself rooting for him so he could get the love crystal and bring it back to Raya. You kept me on the edge of my seat. Nicely done! !LUV
@lenaspiritual, @kemmyb(1/4) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily
Thank you very much for reading and commenting on my story. Yes, I wanted David to be a hero. ❤️