Mort the Shit Manager: 'Oxidation'
Source: Image by @katharsisdrill
Mort, the Shit Manager is a spin-off fictional series of short stories based loosely on the thoughts of David Mortenson, the tyrannical Kwiksave store manager who features in my auto-biographical series 'The Horrors of Kwiksave'.
Mort the Shit Manager: 'Oppression Supreme'
Mort the Shit Manager: 'The Armchair Club'
Mort the Shit Manager: 'The Bloody Nose'
Mort the Shit Manager: 'Fresh Cream'
Mort goggled.
The vision, the potential, the wonder of this sight enticing his eyes erupted tears and he staggered.
‘Ye alight Mort me lad?’, said Murk quizzically, a bespectacled skinny bloke with an enormous nose sporting red Kwiksave Managers attire.
All these years, thought Mort, tears streaming down his face, all the effort I have put in and I have reached my nirvana.
‘Jesus lad’, said Murk, ‘you don’t have to be such a wimpy fucking cry-baby, I know it’s a shithole but ye gotta start somewher...’
‘It’s beautiful, and it’s mine, ALL MINE...’, interrupted Mort cumulating to a screech and now on his knees.
Murk wheeled about, and tromped out muttering, ‘Fucking weirdo’, or something similar. Mort didn’t care, he was the manager now and this was HIS STORE.
Entering the staff canteen of HIS Kwiksave was one of those lifelong moments that can never be bettered.
Ensuring the outgoing manager Murk was safely out of sight Mort darted frantically to the cutlery drawer.
Rust encrusted and ancient; spoons, knives, and forks all fully oxidised.
Should he right now lick a spoon, taste the flavour and then insert it into his rectum slowly turning it around... Ohhhh.... the pleasures he would have and soon.
Mort goggled.
Mort, the Shit Manager is a Serial Shitposting Fiction Story inspired by Torundel the Shitposter by @katharsisdrill, Ren du Lot, the Shit Lawyer by @vcelier and Nordlute, the Shit Sysadmin by @steevc.
Rules are:
211 words - Starting with the words "Mort" - First and last sentence are identical.
If you found this article so invigorating that you are now a positively googly-eyed, drooling lunatic with dripping saliva or even if you liked it just a bit, then please upvote, comment, rehive, engage me or all of these things.
Lol, twisted bastard!
Did they have tio be rusty!
For my tenure at that dastardly supermarket, I had to drink tea and coffee while stirring these rusty spoons to disperse the sugar. I truly hope that my writing is fiction and nothing else.. urghhh!!!!
I bet it's not, you have probably hit upon the reason for the oxidization... :OD
yuck 😨
I know, bum spoons!!!
It might almost be a thing, a thing you could sell on Amazon.
I'd give it a bash but don't know if I could scale up if they were a hit... :0D
Once you have had drinks with an ER nurse, you will always remember to bring your own spoon.
The stories of things people put inside themselves are amazing!!!
I've got to stop reading these comments, the images that can't be unseen are getting worse and worse!
Guess where they just found this little fella!!! Coincidentally, his name is Spoon.
I had to use those spoons for 4 years, and yes.. they were rusty!
I worked in a supermarket for 4-5 years ... but I was in produce. I almost always stirred my tea with a celery stick. It wasn't because of a "rusty" spoon. It was always close at hand. Back then, people ate a lot of celery.
Celery is nice and clean, but not a taste I like. Hope it didn't taint the flavour too much
.... says the guy slowly stirring with a rusty spoon.
Truly horrible, but I did giggle out loud :)
That's the important bit, I realized I had written nothing but Urbex for a month.., something had to change and Mort pushed his way back into my head again!!
As long as it was only your head, mind you, that's gruesome enough 😂
I had wondered where you were, but some of those Urbex posts are fabulous!
You can understand that just one year of Mort was a massive residual test for my will and what it's done to my innermost thoughts!
It seems the passing of the years has not healed the scars your Kwiksave experience burnt onto your soul. I hope this writing therapy helps.
Hehe, I don't know where these ideas are coming from, just that I needed an Urbex writing break!
I love this.
Murk an ass hole.
But that Mort, is doing drugs
It so reminds me of my days at Sears. They don't make folks like that who used to live for their crappy empire!
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