Just words

No preamble. Just rambling thoughts turned into words on paper.

I hope it finds you well.

I begin to write
Words and phrases I believe
You wish to hear
I have good intentions, you see
I want to make you happy
I wish for you to read with
A warm smile on your face
But it takes one word
Just one, for me to realise
That everything is a lie

Today, I want to be honest with you
It's always been about you
I hide behind the large cloak of deception
I lie to myself that your happiness is all it takes
I listen to you everyday
Wishing to be the person you want
I let you mold me into a thing
Maybe it's my fault
Perhaps you're right when you say that
I do not know how to feel

For once I don't want to be the water
Or the well
Or the ground
I'm tired of being stepped on
I don't have the story you yearn for
You probably want to know what
I do in the dark
And the places my fingers touch
I can’t answer your questions anymore
My cheeks ache from the endless fake smiles

People always have a direction
Young girls giggling to their unfunny jokes
While looking at themselves in the mirror
Young boys checking out their muscles
While daydreaming about a girl
I only have skin
Miles of it
Naked, brusied
Hidden under my underwear

_{image source}