in OCD5 months ago

For the last 2 months I've been having terrible insomnia.
My doctor gave me Trazadone and I tried it for about 2 weeks. I guess it helped? I don't really know. It still took me a long time to fall asleep and my mind was still racing. But I stopped taking it during week 2 because I was experiencing brain fog, some short term memory loss, and disorientation.
So I went back to not being able to fall asleep till around 6 AM.
Then I realized the other day that my insomnia started around the time that my doctor increased my new brain medication. I've never been very patient with troubleshooting so 2 days ago I simultaneously decreased that medication and stopped drinking caffeine so late in the day.
Last night I actually felt the natural melatonin in my body when I went to bed. I usually read before going to sleep, but my Jeffy cat was intentionally blocking my Kindle so I just closed my eyes and put my arms around Jeffy and finally just naturally and quickly fell asleep. I am very happy about that, but now I wonder if I'm going to start feeling depressed and anxious again since I decreased my medication.
But at this point, I think I would rather feel depressed and be able to sleep lol.

Oh, also, these are some shots of a video I was working on yesterday. I downloaded a couple of digital art apps so I was experimenting with them last night.


They gave me that once. 200mg. It helped me sleep. But they also has me on valium, ristroil.. restless leg syndrome.... im really starting to wonder how long this hip has truly been going bad... but it helped. The trazadone just made me sleepy the next day too. Insomnia sucks but keeping busy makes it seem like your staying up on purpose. I mean it was for me anyway. I cant be so productive anymore so kinda blows but i had some of those same symptoms you experienced. Ohhhhh and If I didn't go to sleep within an hour of taking it then it didn't work. Like i had to take it and lay down because if i kept busy id miss the window of sleepiness

How crazy insomnia is, it is a problem that can harm many people, I hope it does not harm you so much, right now I am also feeling that it does not make me almost sleepy and I can fall asleep quite late, however more than insomnia I think it is how I I keep quite active doing different jobs during the day and also at night the anxiety of finishing these jobs does not make me sleepy, then if I can sleep more peacefully.

Try to avoid taking medicines as much as possible, I too faced a restlessness and pressure in mind with so many thoughts and no sleep. I never went to a doctor for this, I tried meditation, but failed. Finally, in my search I noticed binaural beats, I found the I doser app and started listening to it, worked fine for me even with my low-end headphones. You can try that or similar to your choice for a month, no harm. It really helped me a lot.

But at this point, I think I would rather feel depressed and be able to sleep lol.

This is exactly what came to my mind just before the moment I read it ...the lack of sleep inevitably leads to fatigue, and fatigue leads to depression more surely than anything else ...

I had a recent period of time with an awful sleep due to some physical pain and then it became a vicious circle : at the moment to go to bed I had anxiety because of anticipating the sh** night I would have, so I could not fall slowly my days were going to depression because I know I'm not made for a miserable life but for joyful and glorious experiences 😄 so I decided to treat first my anxiety and did it with some plants which works wonderfully and then in a few days it was ok again, and even the physical pain as my body and my mind were relaxed and free of the anticipating fear...

I'm not advicing anything to you, just sharing my experience because sometimes it helps to just know we are not alone
I would never allow myself to give advices to anyone, each one has a different path behind, for me all natural medicine work perfectly because it fits in my beliefs, I think everybody is just free to put what they want in their own body, and everyone sees this differently ...

I wish you all good my dear