Lekki Massacre; Being a youth in my country[Nigeria] is hard. I hate it here.

For the past 72hrs my countenance has been that of sadness, anguish, pain, and hatred for the system and people in power. I have not felt this level of emotional damage as I've felt in the past few days. And for someone like me who tries to see good in any situation to feel this way, it is a big deal.

If you keep up with the news[International news for non-Nigerians], you'll definitely know what's been happening in Nigeria. The events have also trended on Twitter endlessly. And I'm sure even here on the blockchain, Nigerian youths like me have published articles about it[the events].

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The event that occured on October, 2020 was the straw that broke the "mythological" camel's back. I watched on an Instagram live video as youths were massacred in the hands of the Nigerian army at Lekki Toll Gate. No amount of horror or action movie prepared me for such horrible sight. I was broken. I cried uncontrollably as I watched people get killed for simply demanding our rights to live as human beings.

Sleep was a myth for virtually everyone who saw that incident happen. But that wasn't the climax of our problems. As soon as the horrible events start to pass, we sought in a collective voice to call out the governor of the state to explain what happened that night. The governor had nothing tangible to say. He denied that they were casualties, and failed to tell us who ordered the onslaught of Nigerian citizens. In his words[paraphrased] "powers beyond my control were the ones behind the attack".

You think that was all? No! The military denied their involvement in the event, and tagged every news regarding the attack as fake. In the words of their spokesman "the video was "photoshopped". A video we all watched live and saw dead bodies on the ground was tagged FAKE!

We sought to hear from the President. And I wished we never did. The President delivered a speech under 15minutes. A speech delivered with the tone of a dictator that lacked empathy. We hoped to be consoled but our hearts were broken. Throughout Nigeria, you could hear everyone lamenting. And it became sure for us that we were under a dictatorship government.

In case you are wondering the preceding events that led to the massacre on the 20th of October? It was simply young Nigerians asking for an end to police brutality and injustice. For years we've faced, extortion, been kidnapped, and even killed by people that were paid to protect us. Prime targets are youths who seemingly lived good lives. It's a crime to be good looking in my country.

Photographs from peaceful protests in Port-Harcourt, Nigeria. Photographed by Okis Deno

We live as fugitives in our country; scared of the police. Statements like "I'll kill you and nothing will happen" are their slogans.

I HATE IT HERE! I've always maintained my stance that Nigeria will be great again. Last night, I lost every bit of hope I had. Like the people who lost their lives at the tollgate, my emotions and hopes were massacred.

Photographs from a candlelight procession/vigil held in honor of those killed by police brutality.Photographed by Okis Deno

I've experienced unusual cold. I feel like I'm dead too. I've been unable to function. My spirit is broken. I didn't choose this life. I HATE IT HERE!

I've been struggling for over 20 years of my life. In Nigeria, if you aren't related to the ruling class, you aren't living, you are surviving. I've survived for over 20years of my life. I can't take it anymore. I have no hope living here. I HATE IT HERE! HELP!!!

Unfortunately, I can't share graphic photos from the Lekki Massacre. But they are littered over the internet. I don't want to go through the emotional trauma I faced on that day. Instead I've shared scenes from the protests captured by several photographers.

Being a youth in my country is a crime; I HATE IT HERE!