Don't let the sun go down on your anger! | Marriage 101

in OCD4 months ago

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Old people say: "Don't let your anger stay from-dusk-to-dawn. Don't let both of your pride eat you!"
It's also stated in the Bible... Ephesians 4:26

We as a married couple needs to think of everything that we need or have to say or do to our partners. If it's good enough or not that good for them to experience.

On our end:
It's hard being married with three kids. The most challenging part actually is to have a nineteen months old Baby. Who cries that loud and wants to be carried at all time. There are times that situation brings us both to argument. Just like what happened last night...

Our baby cries that loud. We're not sure what's happening to him. Or maybe because it's hot and humid the whole day. We also as adults are not that feeling well because of the weather. We can't pacify him. We don't know what to do. I told my eldest child to give our baby a night bath so that he will feel better. But because she's watching Netflix she's not doing what I have asked her to do.

My husband on the other hand is not feeling good too. He is experiencing loss bowel movement. He can't eat because all the food that he try to eat are all tastes less. Even the juices or water. He wants every liquid in ice cold.

He carried our child and go exactly where I am. I'm inside our bedroom about to sleep. Since it's my restday because of a US holiday. Then he stated... I will just leave him this way. Then I think he put our baby down and our baby started to cry. (Before that happened my daughter did follow me with a heavy heart, stomping out of our bedroom. Not to take her baby brother to the bathroom but just wash a small towel to make her brother feel comfortable by wiping him a wet towel.) My husband saw that and say... that will not help him. Then that's the time that I have started yelling at my kids because they may not hear me while their baby brother is crying. I told them that it's much better to bring her brother in the bathroom. While her brother is crying and she's undressing her brother. I got irritated of what I'm seeing. I told(yelling) her that she needs to talk to her brother first to make her brother calm. My husband got irritated too with what's happening while he's eating dinner. That's ten pm or almost eleven, I think. Then that's the time that he nag telling me that if I'm not just lying down and yelling I might can help. Then our son is done taking a bath and he's all good. He go inside our bedroom to Lactate. My husband told me not to push my son away. That's the time I get so irritated. Told him I'm not pushing him away. It's his decision to go out after lactating. Then he get our son and told me... don't you ever call him. He also shut the door after saying that. That's the time that I have yelled much louder like I'm growling. Explaining myself and saying what's wrong with him. Also asking... So I don't have the right to take some rest? I don't have any right here? They actually act good while I'm doing that. They get scared while I'm doing those kind of things. When I'm acting like a monster. My husband stop nagging. My kids become so calm also my son is comftable. But I'm still angry even if my husband stopped. I'm thinking why he needs to do that to me? I never stop talking. I'm not sure if he can hear me while he's watching Netflix too. But that's how I help myself to be relieved. Then I'm not sure what happened next because I fell asleep.

Right now while I'm writing this and browsing Facebook. I have seen a post about a husband and a wife. SVGE: Awake. That's the time that I have thought about what happened and while browsing with the comments I saw this...

"Dont let the sun set on a quarrel"....be it the wife or the husband on the other side of the issue,dont let your pride eat you.

  • Amelia Devera

I also have an insight here about my title. I know this can help us. Don't let the sun go down on your anger?

"I have realized that I also have fault why those things happened last night. I will kiss and make up with my husband later. That's what I'm doing even if it's not my fault or vice versa. I will not let my pride eat me!"

I also want to share this song...

More Than My Pride
Song by Bobby Tinsley

I dont wanna fight with you.
I wanna make things right with you.
So before the night is through. Can we talk.
You know you mean so much to me.
Baby youre my everything.
I think about you constantly.
Youre all I want
We been arguing and we been fighting for awhile
Our love is dying and its breaking my heart
To watch our world tear apart.
But baby no more.
I dont wanna fuss and fight.
I just wanna make things right.
I thought about it and no matter whos wrong. I apologize.
You know I can be stubborn sometime
But it aint worth to see you cry.
I finally realize that I love you more than my pride.
(I love you more) more than my pride (I love you more)
Much more than my pride (I love you more)
More than my pride (more than my pride)
I just want to kiss your face.
So all the problems go away yeah.
Start over another day.
Can we press re-rewind.
Back before the argument.
When you thought I was heaven sent (when I was heaven sent)
Baby its irrelevant, who was wrong this time.
We been arguing and we been fighting for awhile
Our love is dying and its breaking my heart
To watch our world tear apart.
But baby no more.
I dont wanna fuss and fight.
I just wanna make things right.
I thought about it and no matter whos wrong. I apologize.
You know I can be stubborn sometime
But it aint worth to see you cry.
I finally realize that I love you more than my pride.
(I love you more) (I love you more) I love you more
(I love you more) Baby I love you more (I love you more)
I love you more (I love you more) so much more than my pride
Baby I love you more (I love you more) I love you more (I love you more)
I love you more (I love you more)
I dont wanna fuss and fight.
I just wanna make things right.
I thought about it and no matter whos wrong. I apologize.
You know I can be stubborn sometime
But it aint worth to see you cry.
I finally realize that I love you more than my pride.
(I love you more) I love you more (I love you more) I love you more
(I love you more) I love you more (more than my pride)
(More than my pride) (I love you more) (I love you more) (I love you more) (I love you more)
I dont wanna fight with you.
Source: Musixmatch

"Before... We argue a lot. (that's the time that I have learned about this song.) Maybe because we're too young to build a family of our own. We both are immature. We let our pride eat us. We have experienced a lot of hardships because of that. Our kids also got traumatized. Everything is not right on our marriage. But the time that I have realized that there is no harm in showing what I really feel. Showing that I love him more than I hate him. Taking my pride away. That's the time that our relationship became good. We may experience this kind of arguments but I'm not letting our pride eat us. I'm the one who's taking the first move to settle it. I'm happier settling than seeing I'm winning to a fight that's not worth winning for. I love my husband more than my pride." (my tears are falling while writing the last part)

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Communication is the key

That's correct.

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To support your work, I also upvoted your post!

Thanks for the support. 💝

You're welcome @mami.sheh7 🙏❤️

Thankfully we’ve never been to that level but we do get in disagreements. Thinking of the advice and the other things, we thankfully don’t go to bed after arguing. Most of the arguments have been in the mornings but having a kid brings it to another level. I was a selfish person for the first few months and didn’t help her out much. Thinking back on it I feel terrible but we discussed it and I have my moments like most do but thankfully nothing as bad as I was for a bit.

The best thing to do is take a breath, slow down and think about your words before you say them. Sometimes we say things that we don’t mean but it can do damage for sure.

Yes. We need to calm ourselves first before saying things that can cause damage to both of us. Emotionally and mentally.

It is alright to fight and argue but the whatever the husband and wife are arguing about should always be resolved at the end of a fight. It's good that you and your husband are able to let your emotions out. Hope you and your husband are ok now.

My mom used to tell me and my husband to never show our kid when we are fighting. So we hide our fight in the morning and postpone it til our kid is asleep. It sounds silly but that's just how it always goes when we have a disagreement. Lol.

It's good that you have that kind of agreement. On our end it's me who needs an anger management.

Love is beautiful... Perfect love casteth out all fear. All sayings that help us be patient and find ways to always fix our troubles of the heart.

Thanks for that. 💝

Happy relationships require a lot of work.

Yes! That's true.

😊