Sandwich Generation | Are we one of them? | Parenting

in OCD2 months ago (edited)

Are we part of those so called "Sandwich Generation?"

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Dictionary:

sand·wich gen·er·a·tion
noun
a generation of people, typically in their thirties or forties, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents.
Source or Definitions from Oxford Languages

This is the situation that we feel we are being squeezed from two directions and we don't know what to choose from. It's so hard to be in this kind of situation. That you will feel guilty not providing what they(parents and siblings) need. Because you need to choose your own family and your kids. We're actually not thinking of the age here because I have experienced this at a very young age. On my early twenties.

Being a parent at an early age gave me this kind of situation. That I need to provide the needs of my parents and siblings aside from the needs of my own family. I'm the eldest among the siblings. That's why I feel obliged to do so. They are also asking me about it. I don't have any choice that time since we are staying in one roof. That's why we strive to rent a house. Yeah! We're still renting. I'm planning to have our own and searching for something that we can afford.

As a Filipino it's a norm being a sandwich gen. It's part of our culture. We are under this phrase "utang na loob" or debt of gratitude in english. It's like returning the favor to what our parents have provided us since we are inside our mom's tummy until we grow old. It's not that easy because we feel it's our obligation to give it all back to them.

On the other hand as a Mom or a parent to my kids...

This is actually what I'm telling them since they are like 7 years old until now. Everytime we're having a conversation about what they want to do after college or while on college or even in high school and they can work on their own. My first born always say that she will help us as much as she can. Also she wants to give everything to her Baby brother. I keep on telling her that she don't need to think about us. We can do it our own. She can save her own money for her future. It's not her responsibility to help us! I don't want to obliged them in providing what we need or what we want. We are their parents and it's our responsibility to provide the best for our children and they don't have any obligation to return those to us. And I don't want them to feel that way.

I want to end this Sandwich feeling to my kids. I want them to have their own life. I want to be different. I want to be the best parent that I can be.

It's not bad being grateful to our parents but not in a sense that we need to choose or we need to be so hard on ourselves by providing everything that they want us to give them. We also need to plan for our future also plan for our retirement so that if ever we are on the same age we will not be a burden to our children. We need to save now to have a good tomorrow for our own good and for our kids own good too.

Let's be practical!
Do it differently!
Make a good start!
We can make a difference!
We can make a change!
Let's end this Sandwich Generation culture!

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@JustinParke here on behalf of ASEAN Hive Community.

I have never heard the term "sandwich generation," but I think it's very appropriate. Like you said, nothing out of the ordinary in most Southeast Asian cultures. We remind our daughters every day that they are our retirement plan.

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Thanks for the support 💗

Awwww. On my end I always remind my daughters to always save and think of their future. We will not obliged them to support us. We can help ourselves as parents.