The Cost of Unresolved Conflict

From my experience so far in relationships and marriage, one of the attitudes that brings about unhealthy relationships among couples is the silent treatment.

People often shut down communication over some misunderstanding, and before you know it, a little issue will birth big problems. That's what happens when we have unresolved conflicts that last for days and even weeks.

One thing I came to realize is that it's very impossible to live together with another human with a different upbringing, different background, different perspectives about life, different kinds of emotions, etc., without disagreement at a point. It's something to bear in mind ahead of time, and when you have this at the back of your mind, it helps you to tackle unforeseen issues as they unfold, rather than being ignorant of this knowledge.

Certainly, issues will happen, but wisdom is profitable to direct. Sometimes I see it as immaturity to shut down communication with your spouse for days and weeks, and yet, you sleep on the same bed day and night. Sadly, as little as this may sound, it has cost some people their marriage. I call it ego, and that's nonsense.

Asking for forgiveness in such a situation or seeking peace even if you aren't at fault doesn't make you a fool; rather, it makes you wise. The scripture said that a wise woman builds her home. And I asked myself, why the emphasis on women? Why not a wise man too? But all the same, women are known as home builders, so we ought to be wiser, like serpents, and be patient too.

A friend of mine is on the verge of losing her marriage over a little irrelevant issue, and it pains me that she allows her ego to destroy what she has built for years. Sometimes who is right or wrong doesn't matter; one person can stand in the gap to be a fool and seek that peace that is needed in a home; otherwise, the home breaks over little issues. I have said my opinion on the current issue between my friend and her husband, but yet, they are still two people living like strangers in their home for almost one month while the husband is already making a move for divorce; it's sad.

Sometimes, as little as "I am sorry" is all we need to mend that broken heart. We shouldn't be too big to use such a magic word even as adults.

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