Acceptance Brings Peace + Daily Runes
The futility of arguing
Yesterday I had a short but significant exchange with a friend. He's always been rather inconsistent in communication, but recently he'd just stopped connecting in any meaningful way and I knew there was something bothering him about me, but hadn't said anything. He'd shared a quote from a book about the troubles of the European Union and I merely commented that the nature of all processes was cyclical and oscillating, that everything that had happened before is happening now and will happen again. He replied with a quote from Game of Thrones, when Daenerys Targaryen promised to "break the wheel", a decision that completely destroyed her along with millions of people. The implication is that he thinks he can break Universal Law. I merely replied that was hubris, which of course he didn't like. I'd been telling him for years about the importance of Surrender, but he's yet to experience this in his own flesh, so he didn't appreciate my intervention. It could've devolved into an argument, but I don't argue anymore and also, this gave me the insight that I needed into his attitude (and the attitude of many others) toward me. I told him I won't bother him again with my perspective and let it go. We've known each other for over a decade and have a pretty powerful friendship, the essence of which has only been strengthened with these disagreements.
Did I make a mistake here? Yes, my mistake was to assume that he was actually interested in what I was telling him. Fortunately, it was only a minor misconception on my part and I never lied to him or behaved poorly. I've come to understand that my views aren't necessarily useful or well-regarded by those who know me, so this was just another stripe for the tiger, so to speak. However, since I constantly review my own narratives, I have no interest in supporting what others think, the stories they tell themselves about who they are and the world at large. I prefer to keep quiet than to promote fictions that I know can misdirect and muddle thoughts and feelings, and I certainly don't need to express any form of agreement or disagreement with how people lead their lives.
I've worked hard and sacrificed a lot in order to achieve the self-awareness I now have, and there's much still that I must let go of. I've had to accept my errors, the irrelevance of my stances and the effects of my own arrogance many, many times and, if you've been reading my other posts, you've seen how deeply I've had to question myself of late in order to get back to center. In the process, I've also had to detach from friends and relatives, from jobs and teams, in the understanding that they must walk their own paths and that I have no right to get in their way even if I think it'd help them. I'm certain that, in coming years, as my Purpose takes me to the circles I've chosen for myself, I may be able to rekindle at least some of my connections, but for now, I'd rather leave my spot in other people's lives until they choose to let me in again, free up my channels and open myself for relationships with new people, with whom I can speak plainly and behave honestly without the need to measure my words in case I might overstep. Opinions and the desire to be right are such a burden, I tell you. Don't get bogged down by it.
I receive instruction about medicines and ceremonial implements. I see myself as a cat.
Broaden your view, expand your range of action, but keep your focus and north. All seemingly divergent stances meet, even if we appear to be separated, we are one. Recognize and honor your tribe, reintegrate the teachings of your ancestors and guides, the warmth of the fire is the only indispensable condition in the night. Be careful with confusions, misunderstandings and conflicts, accept any mistake and repair any possible harm. Review your attitude and your reactions, especially before people you trust; silence is better than injury. Being right is not more important than living in calm, do not engage in unnecessary arguments. Do not issue judgments nor offer unsolicited observations, loving also implies letting oters live in accordance to their principles and expectations.
I think it’s case by case and really about the persons state at a given moment. Some topics really heat people up though. He may not be interested in your opinion now because he is heated or because he has too much internal drama around a specific subject. I wouldn’t apply the same approach to every conversation with him unless his disinterest in your perspective becomes a pattern.
This reminds me of my relationship with my mother 🤣 we have one or two topics we can’t talk about because I can’t go along with her narratives. It’s soooo much better than it used to be though.
It was already a pattern, that's why I mentioned the lack of communication on his part. He often started conversations he never replied to. I have no doubt that we'll have the opportunity to truly catch up but, for now, that's not going anywhere.