"Silhouette" (Freewrite)

Covered his thoughts with uncertainty and doubts. That's what he wanted but why suddenly looked for another? It's like his morale changed. He saw beauty and that's what he realized. Why he was unsure. Why his heart is full of misunderstandings. He just shadow-viewed himself of what was happiness to him. He was afraid to see himself right in front of the mirror. Thinking if that's what he visualized a long time ago.

He didn't punish himself just to be clear. He just wanted to clear things of what he was trying to see. There were images but blurry. There were motions but he didn't understand the notion. He couldn't tell if that's how he really wanted it to happen or to see. All in his mind that he felt something was lacking. He felt a little bit of loneliness in his soul.

Staring in a place with emptiness. Gasping with the cold surrounding. He found out what he was searching for so far. It's not a shadow of his past. It's not dim light from his dark memories. It's a silhouette of himself trying to be happy. He assumed that was the way to deal with all the things.

He pretended to be happy even though it's not real. He knew he misbehaved for some time. He thought and thought about what to do to fill the surrounding with colors. It's dark but a form of the darker image reflected him. "Who is this?" He asked himself, staring at a blurry image.

He began to get tired of what he was searching for. A voice with no sound and words with no meaning suddenly showered his eyes. "I'm alone, right, I'm alone." The repeated feeling of despair just fills his unsatisfied heart.

The pretty view of the silhouette fooled him to believe that there's a beautiful world waiting for him. He just lied to force himself to think it will be alright. He finally understood and let himself be soaked with tears. He dreamt of fantasies but actually, there was not at the time he woke up. It's just a side story to escape from the dark world he's suffering.

Thank you for reading

image is mine

d' dreamboy,
@mrnightmare89